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To think that a 12year old doing this is wrong?

(227 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

disneymum3 Fri 02-Jan-15 22:00:33

Today I found out that my 12 year old niece is sexually active with her boyfriend. I know that her mum (my sister in law) knows what she is doing, and hasn't said anything to her / isn't bothered.
I feel that this is wrong and she shouldn't be doing this sort of thing at the age of 12. The thing is I don't know what to do.
Any advice on this will be greatly received TIA.

Quitethewoodsman Fri 02-Jan-15 22:02:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoastingYourChestnutsHurtsAlot Fri 02-Jan-15 22:02:45

Child protection issue surely? Parent not protecting a minor under 13.

Social services would be my first port of call. Drop them a call

Methe Fri 02-Jan-15 22:03:58

Well it is absolutely wrong but I have lots and lots of friends who lost their virginity very young and none of them seemed to have been damaged by it.

What you should do depends on the age of the boy involved

Same age - talk to mum

Older consider talking to the police.

Substantially older definitely talk to the police.

soverylucky Fri 02-Jan-15 22:05:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 02-Jan-15 22:06:50

Oh shock - I have a 12.6 yo DD and I'd be horrified .
How old is the boyfriend?
Is she being co-erced at all (even if she 'consents' she's not legally old enough to)

And is she using contraception and a barrier method?

Is the Mum really not bothered or does she not know how to broach it?

MrsDiesel Fri 02-Jan-15 22:07:20

How old is the boyfriend and how do you know they are sexually active?

I would talk to her mother as a starting point.

Cantbelievethisishappening Fri 02-Jan-15 22:08:33

This is a CP issue. How old is the BF?

Tinkerball Fri 02-Jan-15 22:09:26

What is her Mum actually saying about it? Of course she shouldnt be plus its illegal.

Rivercam Fri 02-Jan-15 22:11:22

12! What do,you mean by sexually active - kissing or a lot more intimate? Is guess kissing could be harmless, but anything more is much too much. Is a 12 year old emotionally ready for that?

I'd follow what Methe says.

RoastingYourChestnutsHurtsAlot Fri 02-Jan-15 22:11:37

Those saying talk to the mum, this is a minor under 13 and so legally cannot give consent..any serial activity is rape

WooWooOwl Fri 02-Jan-15 22:12:25

Of course she shouldn't be doing this, and if her boyfriend is the same age, nor should he. They should both be getting better guidance and protection from their parents.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 02-Jan-15 22:12:46

What do you mean sexually active?

I wouldn't be happy with it, but it is really common.

Bowlersarm Fri 02-Jan-15 22:13:37

Even if the boyfriend is the same age chestnuts?

Quitethewoodsman Fri 02-Jan-15 22:14:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghostyslovesheep Fri 02-Jan-15 22:14:27

she's not having sex she is being abused - a 12 year old can't consent to sex - he is breaking the law sad

please talk to her mum and if she wont act you must - via SS

nilbyname Fri 02-Jan-15 22:15:03

A child cannot give consent. This is a child protection issue and I would be taking this further in your shoes.

Methe Fri 02-Jan-15 22:15:38

A 12 year old and a 12 year old? Who's abusing who?

A 12 year old and a 15 year old I get what your saying.

ghostyslovesheep Fri 02-Jan-15 22:16:45

two 12 year olds then the adults allowing sex to happen would be breaking the law and allowing abuse

Babiecakes11 Fri 02-Jan-15 22:17:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumofthemonsters808 Fri 02-Jan-15 22:17:40

I have a daughter of this age and regardless of the boys age I'd be mortified.

ghostyslovesheep Fri 02-Jan-15 22:18:04

and I don't understand people bogging this down with semantics about the law rather than being a bit shocked about a child having sex hmm

Greywackejones Fri 02-Jan-15 22:18:07

Oh heavens. If my dd I'd be sick and flip.

As an observer, how do you know? And in all seriousness what do you know? It's illegal. But a relationship is vastly different to casual or something. You say mum isn't bothered, but isn't bothered by what exactly? Him? Her? Sex at a young age? I think there's a lot of grey in a human point, where law might be b or white... Sounds s massive backstory for certain

RoastingYourChestnutsHurtsAlot Fri 02-Jan-15 22:18:42

From my understanding yes. A child under 13 cannot legally consent to sex and a child having sex under 13 would possibly indicate other factors that need investigating

ghostyslovesheep Fri 02-Jan-15 22:19:15

Babiecakes the child(ren) could be removed from the home if the adults can't or wont protect them - there is a lot that could and would be done

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