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AIBU to obbsess over an ignored message?

(355 Posts)
SalsaOnCrackers Thu 01-Jan-15 05:45:15

A superior at work has helped me loads in my job and we get on famously. Few months back we exchanged numbers and we've reached a comfortable stage where we've gone for a couple quick coffees after work when he's in town. He's shared pictures of his lovely kids with me as well, so we've become quite friendly.

Today at work I sent him a message to say happy new year to him and his family and to thank him for all his help this year.

This was in the morning. And there has been no response at all.

This is jarring because he's always quick to reply and if he's busy he will say so and respond in more detail a few hours later.

Without going into detail I know he read the message and I know today wasn't a busy day at work for anybody. So it's apparent he just ignored the message deliberately.

Given the positive note things have been on, I don't understand why he just didn't reply?! I can't think of anything I may have done to offend so I'm completely puzzled here.

I know I shouldn't take this so seriously but I can't stop obsessing over it.

SavoyCabbage Thu 01-Jan-15 05:47:40

You must know you are overthinking it surely!

Redglitter Thu 01-Jan-15 05:49:32

he's probably been busy or thinks he's replied or didn't realise he had to reply in a certain time frame

You're totally over thinking things you don't know what he might have been doing today.

SalsaOnCrackers Thu 01-Jan-15 05:51:37

But isn't it a bit odd and maybe even rude to just read and completely ignore a message like that? I know I wouldn't ignore something like this even if I was having a busy day. And it's completely out of character which makes me think I've done something unknowingly to offend!

KnackeredMerrily Thu 01-Jan-15 05:52:14

At the risk of sounding like a teenager it kind of reads that you 'like like' him....

MrsMcColl Thu 01-Jan-15 05:53:49

Over-thinking, but many of us have been there! Tell me - do you fancy him a bit?

SalsaOnCrackers Thu 01-Jan-15 05:55:47

No, he's just a friend and colleague. I wouldn't complicate my life by 'liking' him. But I'm very fond of him!

TurnOverTheTv Thu 01-Jan-15 05:58:59

I often read messages on my phone, then totally forget to reply. I wouldn't be bothered if I didn't get a reply, it wasn't something that needed an answer.

MrsMcColl Thu 01-Jan-15 06:00:35

I have a friend and colleague who I've complicated my life by 'liking'. I'd mind if he didn't respond to a message, and would fret like you are. Other friends/colleagues - not so much.

SalsaOnCrackers Thu 01-Jan-15 06:01:00

Ok, maybe it just me then confused I wouldn't ignire a New Years message from a friend or colleague.

Also, I hadn't messaged on his phone.

musicalendorphins2 Thu 01-Jan-15 06:20:51

Could be anything, a migraine, low battery, bad connection, who knows? I forgot to charge my phone and when I did a couple of days, later I had messages I didn't reply to, as I had seen the senders since they sent them. I often scan my messages but if not feeling well, don't always reply right then and there, and easy to get busy and totally forget this time of year. And when we go away, to the place we vacation at has poor cell reception, we can receive texts, but have to go outside the house to reply, or to use the phone.

musicalendorphins2 Thu 01-Jan-15 06:23:16

Oh boy, please forgive the errors in punctuation and typos. blush

SalsaOnCrackers Thu 01-Jan-15 06:26:50

It wasn't a text. Didn't message his phone.

GahLinDah Thu 01-Jan-15 06:27:28

I think you're overthinking it. I often read texts, intend to reply and then forget. It's NY he's probably got a million and one family and work related things on his mind.

SalsaOnCrackers Thu 01-Jan-15 06:28:08


GahLinDah Thu 01-Jan-15 06:29:59

Calm down love. hmm

SalsaOnCrackers Thu 01-Jan-15 06:31:13

Messaged on the office system. And I know he read it. So there's no excuse here for low battery, bad reception etc.

TanteRose Thu 01-Jan-15 06:31:44

Keep your hair on!
What was it then, carrier pigeon?

ArsenicFaceCream Thu 01-Jan-15 06:31:52

Same thing applies to FB message, email etc.

He saw it, meant to reply, forgot.

31st Dec could have been a busy day for him in terms of making party/family arrangements.

SalsaOnCrackers Thu 01-Jan-15 06:32:08

Sorry, I don't mean to be a bitch!! Excuse the shouty capitals.

TanteRose Thu 01-Jan-15 06:32:53

Oh ok email?

He probably had found himself "liking" you and is now embarrassed

magpieginglebells Thu 01-Jan-15 06:33:13

You are massively overthinking. This is the kind of thing that I would read, think that's nice I must reply later and then forget. I know you say you don't have feelings for him but that's the impression your OP gives.

ArsenicFaceCream Thu 01-Jan-15 06:34:12

Any chance his wife saw it and wasn't happy? Maybe detected a frisson?

Feellikescrooge Thu 01-Jan-15 06:34:47

You sound like my Year 10 pupils! Maybe he forgot he hadn't replied to you, there are a lot of HNY messages to reply to. Maybe he was talking to someone else and forgot, maybe he was with his family. I think you need to stop behaving like a teenager, it is bad enough when they do!

PrettyLittleMitty Thu 01-Jan-15 06:34:54

I think you arobsessing over HIM, not the message. Is he attached? If so, you need to move on.

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