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To wish my OH would get a hobby?

(6 Posts)
mkmjimmy Wed 31-Dec-14 18:02:48

He works (hard in a demanding job he enjoys) and looks after his kids, is good at housework and goes out for a drink with some mates every couple of months. But that's it!

The kids are growing up/grown up so don't need his input in the same way. So the only things he does apart from this are things with me! And I, quite often, want to do my own thing. Run, garden, see friends, watch crap on TV etc. I've felt my own hobbies drift away as he seems to need kept company.

I'm so envious of people whose husbands go play golf or run or mountain bike!

Alexaa Wed 31-Dec-14 18:10:02

No, YANBU. DH used to go to the gym three times a week and had a group of friends from there. He also used to play Tennis with me at the weekends and liked to just "do" things. After DS was born 11 years ago, he became a bit of a loner and workaholic (always working from home and just doing excess housework as well). He was a real family man and that was lovely but he had no life really as DS was little so didn't have any close friends that DH could use to get to know other parents. After DD was born 7 years ago, I dumped a pile of reading books on his office desk (completely ruining the super-cleanliness of that room) and challenged him to finish them in three months. I think he realised what I meant because next thing I know, he renewed his David Lloyd membership and asked to start coming to Tennis with me again on Saturdays.

whatsinanamearose Wed 31-Dec-14 19:01:11

YANBU but at least you are not here complaining that all his time is spent doing things only HE wants, doesn't interact with the kids or join in family activities, while going out twice a week getting drunk with his friends and not contributing to the housework at all.
I know how the above feels and I have had the same problem as you, but I think I would take your situation any day.
I totally understand about the needing a hobby. Have you tried influencing a hobby by giving him experience day gifts etc?
Gooooood luck

rattling Wed 31-Dec-14 19:25:57

YANBU. I am hoping to return to my fairly time absorbing hobby later this year and I'm going to feel quite unreasonable about the disparity when DH just works or is home looking after our kids. He won't object at all (I am a bit of a nightmare without time for myself), but I wish he had something he wanted to spend time on.

mynewpassion Wed 31-Dec-14 19:26:04

Is he stopping you from doing your own hobbies? Maybe he's a homebody and is fine being alone.

Scrumbled Wed 31-Dec-14 21:12:24

Go and do your own stuff.

Dp and myself are home bodies on the whole. It doesn't stop me from running on my own, seeing friends, go walking on my own. While my husband will happily do his own thing at home. He'll often put headohones on and watch something on his tablet or laptop whilst I'm googling and watching TV. Or I'm the one with the headphones on, or reading.

Usually it's me out doing hobbies and he doesn't mind, so I do.

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