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To think this was always going to happen

(5 Posts)
Housewife81 Wed 31-Dec-14 15:06:45

Please be gentle I feel very desperate for my poor nephew and (the poor girl if this indeed happen as stated) sadly I think something of this ilk was always going to happen he has been arrested and charged with rape he is 13 sad what worse I can't say hand on hart he didn't do it he's had a very bad up bringing and I really feel that this one is at the feel of my sister.
He was seldom supervised allowed to roam around while she was at work allowed to play any computer game of any age and pretty much allowed free wonder around on line un vetted

When I used to talk to her about saving for my sons uni she joke and say I saving for a lawyer (things we say in jest ay )

He has basically been brought up in a violent environment he was expelled from primary school by 7 he has been to 8 different schools in total my sister frequently moves house the children are clean and well feed but she provides nothing for their emotional needs she was in a violent relationship with her youngest father found her crying and beaten and nephew hiding under the bed at age 9 also one the times nephew moved schools was due to my sister ex beating up the after school lady when he was approached about late charges (yes you heard it he beat up the after school lady)confused and was asked to leave the school as a result this all climaxes in him beating my sister so badly one day she is now colour blind in one eye he did go to jail my sister no longer sees him however has recently come out as gay (no surprise to me) but as a result is suffering depression and locks herself in her room for long periods her children get palmed off on any one who will take them though not many will now take my nephew who is a hand full but I full believe this is due to his background (were is his father you all ask he is living with a 18 year old in her bed sit in London somewhere) he sees him however I can't really say how much of a moral guide he is not very Imagine judging from the fact he posted a clip of him having sex with the 18 on my sisters social media page with the tag #what now bitch he's seems pretty grim.

My sister also lost £100k if that's relevant she spent it all on holidays for her friends ECt she even offered us 30k for a deposit for our home we declined safe to say however she is now down to her last 7k which she now has to use to pay for legal help with my nephew

Any way the up shop is he was living with her mum up until last week as ss got involved due to the nature of the offence and because she has a daughter her mum has said she can't cope with him and now he is living with his dad who he thinks is awesome sleeping on a blow up bed my sister is not seeing him at weekends as she is out drinking it up judging from her FB and she is not seeing him during the week as he's living with his dad and the 18 year old he's not being allowed back to school and it involved 3 other pupils and no other school will take him it's a god dam mess and even if he is innocent the version he gives is still pretty warped in my view

AIBU to think he was bound to get in some kind of trouble How do I support her but also I do think she needs telling once this is all over I don't want my dn going down a bad road as well if she's not their already

mommy2ash Wed 31-Dec-14 15:25:57

unfortunately I think the time for telling has long gone this kid has suffered and is now damaged as a result. ideally he needs to be somewhere they can offer him support and guidance.

whatever life he has lived it is of no importance to the girl. nobody in this situation deserves to be here.

why has social services not intervened a very long time ago? ss has me in place to take a family members child in either an emergency or if any further events occur I've had to take the child twice already and this circumstance is very minor compared to what you describe.

Housewife81 Wed 31-Dec-14 15:44:21

Because he's well dressed and fed and attends school my sister is to depressed to have him hanging round the house and my sister works emotional abuse is often missed my sister is not in denial about his behaviour just the causes I think she is so deeply depressed is pretty much Ineffective a lady next door did call ss out 4 years ago but school and GP all came back positive they let it go and chalked it up to vindictive behaviour as she had a argument with her a few weeks pervious(she argues with everyone offered her boss out once and yes she was sacked )

This current job is the only one she's been able to keep more than a year problem is unlike many parents who have ss invloment she presents well her home is clean and tidy she always has food they don't eat junk she's very funny and is the life and stole of most party's often takes over tbh

But she is deeply insecure she is like a swan all still at the top and paddling like mad at the Bottom

They are looking to charge my nephew with guilty by ass as didn't coming the rape but watched and didn't help and videoed confused he's going away for a long time they said if found guilty sadly weather he lives with his awful father or goes to jail he may be lost to me But my Niece is still young and my sister could turn it around

mommy2ash Wed 31-Dec-14 16:07:01

is social services now involved with your niece? if not not need to speak to someone about this. it's incredible they haven't been very involved already if the kids have grown up in a violent household the ex beat up the after school lady and the nephew was expelled the school would have had to report that. if you have serious concerns you have to voice them to those with the authority to help.

Housewife81 Wed 31-Dec-14 16:15:01

Hi mommy2mash

He was asked to"leave" thus red faces avoided all round I hear this is pretty common so I would imagine they recored it as student left.

I think ss are involved with sister they have placed Dn as a child in need keep in mind sister is fully cooperating with them also my sister moved him to her mums the day she found out

Personally I always felt she needed coucilling

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