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Screechy loud child in swimming pool. Iabu but this is a safe place to rant

(108 Posts)
Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:21:28

I have ASD (moderate) and recently left my gym because the loud music, lights and people noise were all a bit too much.

There is a hotel across the road from me with a gym and pool for members and hotel guests. It was amazing going there for the first time today. There were a few other people in the pool and it was really quiet and serene.

Well, it was serene until a father and his very loud child came in and straight away played a very loud game of "tag". Kid was shouting "tag" every thirty seconds or so and generally being a loudmouthed pain in the arse.

You'd think that anyone decent would enter a swimming pool and take note of the general atmosphere and ambience before unleashing said loud kid.

I've taken my nephew swimming before, sometimes in loud public pools and once in the pool of a hotel we were all staying at. I had the social consideration to warn my six year old nephew to try and be quiet as we had walked into a what was quite a quiet pool.

It was horrible after such lovely quiet and I ended up feeling like I had to leave. I said nothing to them so this online rant is my way of getting it out! Places like Spashdown or soft play places are ideal for loudmouthed screechy kids, not very quiet hotel pools where three people are obviously relaxing. The spa prides itself in being calm and serene and there are signs everywhere telling people to be considerate of the comfort of other guests.

And rant over. I expect to be told I am being unreasonable. I have no children. I do like them though, just in small doses with the volume down.

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:23:37

What was worse is that the dad kept jumping into the pool and was encouraging Loudmouth in the shouting and screeching. hoping they are hotel guests and not locals.

Pico2 Wed 31-Dec-14 14:25:41

Can't you just swim at adult only times?

WorraLiberty Wed 31-Dec-14 14:27:21

You sound really horrible, referring to this child as 'Loudmouth'

Your enjoyment of the pool doesn't trump theirs. It's the holidays for goodness sake and the child was just having fun/burning off energy.

Find an adult only pool if you're this easily pissed off.

VitalStollenFix Wed 31-Dec-14 14:27:26

talk to the management and ask if there are quiet/adult only sessions. If there are, stick to those, if not then strongly suggest that they consider having them.

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:27:33

Checking to see if they do have those, I just don't get why this happened. Kid was obviously over excited. I love kids and a happy child is a good thing, it was just the sheer lack of concern for the environment they had entered.

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:28:31

Worra, you make a good point and I'm really not a horrible person. I left quietly rather than saying anythjng and am just having a rant in a safe space

VitalStollenFix Wed 31-Dec-14 14:29:51

oh, meant to say that I totally understand where you are coming from. Both of mine have autism and they are very distressed by certain noises.

My youngest in particular cannot function when there are certain noises. Which is sort of funny considering he makes the most racket in the house grin

but yes, I understand how physically painful noise can be and how difficult it can be to cope in an environment where you had not prepared yourself or been properly prepared for noise, when you are on the spectrum.

Talk to the management, see what your options are.

meglet Wed 31-Dec-14 14:35:18

I have ASD but even I can tolerate other people being loud. It's Christmas, let them have fun.

The dad may well have told his son to be quieter, doesn't mean it was guaranteed to work.

Lambzig Wed 31-Dec-14 14:37:22

Oh I thought this was going to be about me this morning when I read your title.

We took the DC, four and two swimming this morning during "swim for all" which is generally for family swimming time. "Lane swimming, adult only" had finished about ten minutes before. My children weren't shrieking or yelling, but were not silent either. A woman swimmer came over and told us that she was getting out as we had ruined her swim and we shouldn't have the children in the pool as they couldn't swim by themselves yet (quite how they were supposed to learn if not allowed in the pool as learners I don't know). So was really aggressive and practically spat in DH's face.

I did feel that if she wanted to have quiet lane only swim, she had the previous three hours to do it in. I also felt a bit guilty as unusually it was just us with kids in there (only four people apart from us), so any noise did come from us, but it is family time.

Does your pool have any adult only times? I do appreciate childrens shrieks can be pretty grating.

Pagwatch Wed 31-Dec-14 14:38:30

Meglet - my son has autism and can't tolerate screaming and shouting at all.

Maybe the op is like my son rather than like you? Autism not being one thing.m

Cobain Wed 31-Dec-14 14:39:51

This could be my son making the noise, apart from the words as he is non verbal, but can screech and enjoys swimming and gets over excited. Like you his condition is invisible. We go to a private gym and I do try to calm him but tbh he is generally not the loudest in the pool when other children are there. Our pool is adult only at lunchtimes and after seven.

Pagwatch Wed 31-Dec-14 14:40:05

If they were randomly being noisy that's fair enough.
It sounds like the dad was being 'super fun dad' which is a pain in the arse.

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:40:05

Of course it's christmas and everyone deserves to have fun. But does one kid's enjoyment trump that of the three other people who were also there for a bit of r&r?

The dad was encouraging the kid, there was no "shhh"ing.

The way I see it is that they invaded a quiet space and managed to piss of four people. The other three were evidently annoyed as well.

I'm not a horrible person, but I do have consideration for others and would never allow or facilitate a racket like that in a public space that was obviously quiet and peaceful.

JackSkellington Wed 31-Dec-14 14:40:35

YANBU, the father was being inconsiderate. They shouldn't have been asked to be silent, but on the other hand it is a shared pool so other people's enjoyment of the facilities is not less important than theirs.

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:41:19

Lamb, I can assure you that was not me. I would never ever be so nasty. I'm sorry that happened to you

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:43:36

And I said nothing and left quietly with no fuss. As did two of the other people who had been relaxing on loungers reading. It's a shame. I don't get a lot of rest time as I have a stressful management job.

fatlazymummy Wed 31-Dec-14 14:44:22

Have you tried earplugs, OP? I always wear them when swimming (to prevent swimmers ear) and they do mute the sound quite a lot.

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:46:06

That's a good idea smile

Bulbasaur Wed 31-Dec-14 14:48:23

I don't have ASD and shrieking children grate my nerves. Not my shrieking child mind you, but I don't love all the other obnoxious children and therefore have little patience for them. wink

There's not much to be done about it. You just have to sort of tolerate it and suck it up or leave. I just bring headphones for places I know will irritate me. But I also have adhd, so any area with too many people making too many different noises will make my brain flat line from over stimulation.

I would play rambunctious games in a public area, no matter how quiet it was before, with my child if it meant they'd be tuckered out for bed. It's a public area, and public atmospheres aren't constant. They always start quiet before they open, it's up for the patrons to set their own mood, not maintain one that doesn't feel natural to them.

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:52:41

That all depends on whether the public area is a park or a private swimming pool in a spa that markets itself as being calm and serene.

The park, I would understand. I take my nephew to the park to tire him out. A public swimming pool is another place during family time where kids make a lot of noise, and rightly so, this pool was not the place to do that.

morningtoncrescent62 Wed 31-Dec-14 14:52:56

Your enjoyment of the pool doesn't trump theirs.

But it doesn't sound as though the OP thinks that - it sounds as though a few people were enjoying a calm, quiet, relaxing swim, and then a very loud father and son disrupted that for everyone else. I don't think that's fair or right - there are plenty of noisy pools where parents can enjoy a game of tag with all the shouting they want. OP, I would have a word with the management about their policies on noise, and then make an informed decision. If their policy is to maintain the kind of ambience you want and need, then if this happens again hopefully you'll feel able to get a staff member to sort it out rather than have to leave. If they don't have a policy of maintaining a calm and quiet environment, or not at times that work for you (e.g. adult-only times that you can't make) then look elsewhere for a place to swim.

I don't think it's unreasonable to be annoyed at what happened.

Grapeeatingweirdo Wed 31-Dec-14 14:53:40

IABU to refer to the kid as "Loudmouth", I do understand that. Sometimes though, you just need a rant. That is what this is. smile

Aridane Wed 31-Dec-14 14:54:40

YANBU

OnlyLovers Wed 31-Dec-14 14:56:56

YANBU at all. The parent was inconsiderate at best. It's just common sense and decency to take a quick 'reading' of the atmosphere when you arrive, and try to make sure your child behaves accordingly.

'The spa prides itself in being calm and serene and there are signs everywhere telling people to be considerate of the comfort of other guests.' On this basis, I'd tell them what happened. You don't need to try to name and shame the individual, but they could police the place better if this is the atmosphere they try to create.

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