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Help please ... Neighbours from hell

(95 Posts)
Elmofan Wed 31-Dec-14 14:10:58

First time back on MN in a couple of years , smile

Long story (sorry) we have had 10 years of abuse from next door neighbours ... started off with petty taking over our car parking spot ... went on to them causing damage to our cars & property ... we eventually called the police after the wife crashed into my new car right in front of us with a big grin on the her face ... we did not press charges but just asked the police to give them a warning to back off .
We bought a puppy a year later .. the next morning the man next door put white powder (some sort of acid) all along the joint garden walls The neighbour on their other side called the local council and they came out took samples of this powder & neighbours were given a court order to remove this powder ... We then got a cctv system installed and things settled for a while.
fast forward to two years ago ... once again DH & I pleaded & tried to reason with neighbours to back off after they tried to bully our DS ... They agreed to start afresh , we all shook hands & two minutes later the man from next door knocked into us ... i invited him in for tea thinking things would be OK from now on ... only i was wrong sad .. He came in & threatened us He said & i quote " My wife comes from a very bad area & if her brothers get involved in this , it wont end well for us " he turned and walked out leaving dh & i standing in our hall in shock .. From that day onwards we completely ignored these people . Last night A tall stocky man claiming to be the woman next doors brother knocked into us with another guy standing at the end of our driveway with a hood up covering his face ... saying we have upset his little sister ... he claims he has been in prison for the last 10 years & only came out this Christmas and is hearing all sorts from neighbours .... he claims that be did his "homework" and knows where my DC'S go to school , who their friends with etc ... I took this as a threat and went inside to get my phone to record the conversation from that point unbeknownst to them ... this brother made several threats that if "we" don't stop upsetting his little sister then the rest of her family will get involved and this guys claims he is Santa clause compared to the rest of the clan .
Once again we will try sell our house (we had it up for sale 5 years ago but the woman next door intimidated any viewers we got & our estate agent told us he could not sell the house while our neighbours acted this way )
This guy warned us not to go to the police last night as he would be back with more family members if we did sad
It all ended with us shaking hands "once again" & agreeing to a fresh start which is all we've ever wanted .. should i report last nights events to the police ? Dh & I can not eat or sleep ... It's my DD's birthday today so i will try pop back later to reply ...
thank you for taking the time to read this

winewolfhowls Wed 31-Dec-14 14:14:59

Sounds horrendous really feel for you. You should totally go to the police but also keep logging all incidents.

What do the neighbours on their other side think about it?

TheReluctantCountess Wed 31-Dec-14 14:15:56

Yes, report it.
Do they own their place?

Elmofan Wed 31-Dec-14 14:18:38

like us they avoid all dealings with our neighbours .. I've spoken to my brother who feels we should Not get the police involved in case neighbours family follows through with their threats ..

KrevlornswathoftheDeathwokClan Wed 31-Dec-14 14:18:58

Do they have a landlord you could report to?

Elmofan Wed 31-Dec-14 14:19:06

Yes they bought their house from my sister 10 years ago

MinceSpy Wed 31-Dec-14 14:19:22

Sounds like a terrible situtuation, is moving possible?

Royalsighness Wed 31-Dec-14 14:20:20

The only advice I can offer is to puff out your chest and threaten them
Back, I had my alcoholic neighbour try and put his head through my window.

Try and get the police as involved as you can for safety but IME the only way to beat a bully is to show them you aren't scared. If he's just got out of jail there's a good chance he's on probation so should know better than to threaten people like that, I highly reccommend you call the police as this could result in him getting an order to keep away from your home for a certain period of time which would be good for your peace of mind.

He's making indirect threats towards your children as a result of this dispute with your neighbour so you have to contact the police. I probably would have chased him up the drive with a fucking bat for mentioning my kids at all, but this is poor advice and acting on anger never ends well.

Let me know how this ends up and I really feel for you, you are playing it all by the book and still getting nowhere flowersbrew

Quitethewoodsman Wed 31-Dec-14 14:20:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elmofan Wed 31-Dec-14 14:21:26

We will try to put our house back up for sale soon but as before it depends if neighbours let us and not try to scare off potential buyers

Quitethewoodsman Wed 31-Dec-14 14:22:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quitethewoodsman Wed 31-Dec-14 14:23:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Royalsighness Wed 31-Dec-14 14:23:46

Yeah don't threaten them back they sound mad, mad and bored!

Birdsgottafly Wed 31-Dec-14 14:25:20

I actually live in a rough area.

It's either put up with this bullshit, go to the police, or start answering the door with a hammer in your hand.

Personally I think they are soft as shite, but know that your easily intimidated.

Sorry to be blunt, but you've let fear, take over, when there's been nothing to actually fear.

The've threatened a child, quoted the school he goes to, this is serious Safeguarding stuff that won't be ignored by the Police or LEA.

Or possibly other parents. If they do live in the area they claim, they would be thought of as utter Scum for bringing kids into it and moved out.

AnyoneforTurps Wed 31-Dec-14 14:25:22

Oh god, how awful for you. If I were you, I think I might hold off involving the police at the moment on the off-chance that they mean what they say about a fresh start. After all, it sounds as if you did have a couple of years of calm after the last "fresh start". As you already have the threats on tape, you can go to the police if there is further trouble. Obviously you should log every incident and continue to tape any future conversations. One reason not to involve the police is that you will have to declare this if you sell the house and it's likely to make potential buyers run a mile.

Is there any chance of reasoning with the neighbours and saying that, as it would be best for all concerned if you move, could they agree not to put off potential buyers? That way, they get shot of you?

SnotandBothered Wed 31-Dec-14 14:25:58

Do you want to move? If it weren't for your neighbours I mean?

If yes, then tell them they have 'win' you are moving which you presume is what they want so it's in their interest to help you sell by behaving during viewings.

If no. Go tound to them once more and tell them straight: you are all scared of them, feel intimidated, don't understand why you have become the enemy and don't want to be at war. Ask them what has upset them and what they see as a way forward.

It might be 'giving in' but if the outcome is harmony - you win really.

I'm so sorry. It sounds like a fucking nightmare.

Elmofan Wed 31-Dec-14 14:26:05

they do own their house .. The wife works as a childminder in the house so is home all day and her dh works part time .

aermingers Wed 31-Dec-14 14:26:58

If the guy has just come out of prison for a 10 year stretch he could be immediately be recalled to jail for behaving like this. I suggest you tell your neighbours that if there is any more trouble you will be contacting the police and the probation service. Perhaps not wanting the brother to return immediately to jail for a few more years might concentrate their minds?

SnotandBothered Wed 31-Dec-14 14:27:45

Meant to add that if you don't want to move and an honest conversation doesn't work. Then police. You should not live in fear in your own home.

mrscumberbatch Wed 31-Dec-14 14:29:17

If she's working as a childminder while behaving like that I would destroy her business.
Report her to every authority available. Bankrupt the fuckers.

coolaschmoola Wed 31-Dec-14 14:29:53

She works as a CHILDMINDER?! Jesus.

AnyoneforTurps Wed 31-Dec-14 14:30:06

The wife works as a childminder

She won't be working as a childminder if she gets a police record. They are clearly very stupid.

Quitethewoodsman Wed 31-Dec-14 14:30:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheReluctantCountess Wed 31-Dec-14 14:30:25

If she's a childminder and the police get involved with her family's intimidating behaviour, she won't be able to work anymore, will she? That might be an angle worth looking into.

Quitethewoodsman Wed 31-Dec-14 14:31:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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