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To not give DD any money

(105 Posts)
Everythingwillbeok Wed 31-Dec-14 11:51:17

My DD is 17 and had her birthday the week before Christmas. She was lucky enough to get about £380 off friends and family.

Christmas came she got mostly presents but also got £130 off various family.

She has asked me to lend her a fiver today to go out with her boyfriend.

I'm fuming I told her on Boxing Day to not leave herself with no money while she's off college over Christmas/ new year.

I know she's been on a couple of shopping sprees but I didn't keep checking she hadn't blown it all as she's not a child.

She's now about to go out without a penny I feel shit but I can't hand any over can I?

Rebecca2014 Wed 31-Dec-14 11:53:40

I bet she still has money but is trying her luck!

lalalonglegs Wed 31-Dec-14 11:57:20

17 years old is old enough to budget. She's had more than £500 over the past few days.

ImperfectAlf Wed 31-Dec-14 11:57:54

YNBU. She needs to learn. Especially if she doesn't pay it back usually.

Namechangeyetagaintohide Wed 31-Dec-14 11:58:57

God no I wouldn't. Not at any age if they ve just been given that much !

Dowser Wed 31-Dec-14 12:00:21

Lend her five and tell her she will owe you £10.

That'll teach her!

( well its what banks do innit? )

Jennco Wed 31-Dec-14 12:51:43

I dont think you should give her any money, She has had money herself for "fun"
If it was something important, then words would need to have been had and jobs made to be done, but in this case, you are not being unreasonable.

maninawomansworld Wed 31-Dec-14 12:57:58

So she's blown £510 in a week and now is trying to cadge a fiver?

I would choose from one of two options:
1. Tell her now way , tough luck, your problem not mine.
2. Give her the £5 but make her pay back with interest as Dowser suggested.

Lucyccfc Wed 31-Dec-14 12:58:26

I was exactly the same at that age.

My Mum told me to sod off.

Oh boy did I hate my Mum at that age. At the grand old age of 46, I now realise taught me a very valuable lesson.

rollonthesummer Wed 31-Dec-14 12:59:49

Blimey-she has spent £500-what on?!

Is she bothered by your reaction?

Toughasoldboots Wed 31-Dec-14 13:00:49

Don't give in, I am doing this sort of tough love with my 17 yo- she knows that I would bail her out and I have created a monster.

GingerCuddleMonster Wed 31-Dec-14 13:03:35

I wouldn't, she should have budgeted, tough titties she can't have a fiver. life is hard sometimes....

LaurieFairyCake Wed 31-Dec-14 13:09:27

I'd be way more concerned about blowing 510 shock

Seriously, reading that makes me feel ill - on what?!?

I'm trying to impress on Ds the same age that driving lessons are 30 each, and they need to be saved for.

TheMuppetsSingChristmas Wed 31-Dec-14 13:13:18

See it wouldn't have even crossed my mind that she was serious when she was asking, I'd have honestly just laughed and said 'good one, dd, you nearly had me then!' and probably walked off shaking my head in amusement. Over £500 in a week? Nah, she can whistle for it!

opalstones Wed 31-Dec-14 13:15:48

She's not spent it all, she's trying it on.

rollonthesummer Wed 31-Dec-14 13:18:08

What on earth has she bought?!

LeonardWentToTheOffice Wed 31-Dec-14 13:18:38

Is she saving gift money for something special but needs day-to-day spends?

seesensepeople Wed 31-Dec-14 13:22:10

I'm going against the flow here but...

Would you give her the fiver if she had received £510 worth of gifts rather than money?
How does she normally fund trips out? Does she have a job or do you usually support these trips?
The money was a gift for her, not to cover her usual expenses.

Bananayellow Wed 31-Dec-14 13:45:37

I'd laugh too and say, "you've got to be joking"

If she is really serious, you need a serious conversation about budgeting.

Mammanat222 Wed 31-Dec-14 13:47:58

Gawd no, don't give her a penny!

Cannot believe she's spunked over £500 already. Maybe you need to be telling family not to be as generous in future (although the next Birthday is a big one !!)

Fairyfellowsmasterstroke Wed 31-Dec-14 13:50:30

Cannot believe she's spunked over £500 already - wow, I'm certainly learning new phrases on MN!!!!

haphazardbystarlight Wed 31-Dec-14 13:53:03

As always I am the soft touch but essentially, she's had about £250 for her birthday and the same for Christmas.

I'd let her have it blush I might make a concession and loan her the cash.

Want2bSupermum Wed 31-Dec-14 13:56:54

I would want to know how she spent the GBP510 first and then sit her down and explain she needs to save some of whatever money she receives. Use a compounding calculator to show how GBP500 saved for 1 year at 5% would give her GBP525, basically earning her GBP25 without her having to lift a finger.

I would then offer to lend her GBP5 if she pays you back GBP10 and if she doesn't pay you back tell her you will claim 'most important item to her' in lieu of payment. After all that is what banks/lenders do.

AnyoneforTurps Wed 31-Dec-14 13:58:11

If she has p***ed £500 up the wall, then definitely not. If she is saving up for something worthwhile then maybe - especially if the people who gave her the money gave it for a particular thing e.g. saving for driving lessons.

greeneggsandjam Wed 31-Dec-14 13:58:49

No! I hope you didn't give her any money! She has been given an awful lot recently. Unless she spent it all on course fees or something like that they she should have saved some. Also, it isn't necessary to go out and spend £5 is it?

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