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To ask people about the mind set of FB users who brag, brag, brag

(104 Posts)
raltheraffe Tue 30-Dec-14 23:34:05

I struggle a bit understanding other people's intentions and motivation.
This person has already been unfriended.
I am just wondering why she does it. I am aware a couple of shitty things have happened to her this year, but yet no mention of them, just this incessant bragging which I find a bit weird.

Fiftyplusmum Tue 30-Dec-14 23:37:19

I think some people try to put a positive spin on their lives on Facebook. She might not think she is bragging as such.

adora1985 Tue 30-Dec-14 23:40:54

Why is it weird to put the positive things in her life on there? I personally find it odd when someone airs all their dirty laundry, and if the ex-friend has had some troubles this year maybe she doesn't want to discuss them with all and sundry, and wants to appear outwardly to be ok. I don't see what's wrong with that.

whatsinanamearose Tue 30-Dec-14 23:41:17

Insecurity.

Well that's my usual opinion of people like this. I just think that they like attention and can't get it from those close to them, while needing to vent/talk about struggling esteem issues, job security, financial difficulty etc So what they do to rather overkill hide the cracks in their life, is to brag about what they have/how great their life is/their fantastic day out/perfect dc and wait for approval to roll in, in the form of 'likes' and comments.

raltheraffe Tue 30-Dec-14 23:41:31

I am wondering if she is a bit insecure and all this bragging is to compensate for it, but I struggle to work out what other people think.

raltheraffe Tue 30-Dec-14 23:42:49

I use the Facebook demetricator so I do not see the number of likes my posts have as I find the whole concept of likes really annoying.

Idiotdh Tue 30-Dec-14 23:49:15

No, I think some people think its bad form to post negative stuff so they only post positive stuff which can sound really braggy if it wasn't how you were dragged up, like me..... Where I am from, the most acceptable approach is sarcasm, self deprecation and general teasing and insults.
I have noticed when I post something positive but in my book a bit smug, lots of people respond. Weird!

LadyMaryofDownton Tue 30-Dec-14 23:50:12

Can you give an example?

I had a Friend post "People shouldn't be allowed to post pics of their Christmas as it has turned into a competition & others feel terrible about their lives".

Well if that's the case then surely we shouldn't post pics of birthdays/weddings/celebrations. Are they then seen/judged as competitive bragging too. If so then the point of sharing is null & void & so to is the whole idea of social media.

There are no rules except those that society ie individuals make towards other individuals & what they share. Such is the very nature of FB.

Honeydragon Tue 30-Dec-14 23:50:49

I think it's important to share my awesomeness with the world. On here I'm limited to 6 pictures, on facebook there is no stopping my brilliance MWAH ha ha hha ha

MsJupiter Tue 30-Dec-14 23:54:41

Some shitty things have happened to me this year including something pretty horrible quite recently. The people I want to know about it already do. People on fb know I have had a nice day out with my DS today and that a while ago I had my hair cut. It's not bragging, it's just what I choose to share among wider acquaintances.

TooHasty Tue 30-Dec-14 23:56:17

well I never post negative things because I don't think people like to hear from moaners and groaners.I personally like to see people's holidays , hear about their DC's achievments-that kind of thing
So, what's I think the problem might be is they are using Facebook ina different way to you.A photo album to record the good times.

Fiftyplusmum Tue 30-Dec-14 23:56:58

There’s a quotation but I can’t find it – something about how we compare the imperfections of our own private life with the outer successful images of other people’s life – and I think on Facebook there’s a tendency for some people to post their successes or things they are pleased about, either to kind of bolster their confidence or share the good things with their friends, but it can come across as bragging.

tooknackeredtoosleep Tue 30-Dec-14 23:59:33

msjupiter i couldnt agree more.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard Wed 31-Dec-14 00:01:13

I do know one person who writes an endless list/posts photos of all of the things she bought her daughter never her son.

She spends £££s weekly on her child. Seriously. And posts about it.

But everyone else posts cat pictures lighthearted stuff.

WhatsGoingOnEh Wed 31-Dec-14 00:04:45

My best friend posts kids' stuff EVERY DAY. Last year, she publicly congratulated both her children on their excellent Parents' Evenings. They are both "excelling academically", it seems. I wouldn't be quite so hmm if it wasn't for the fact her kids are 3 and 6 years old. Academic excellence?! FFS.

radiobedhead Wed 31-Dec-14 00:08:58

Selective editing of their lives. Insecurity. They're their own PR. It annoys me but it's not my business. They can post what they want.

I can't help feeling though that some of my friends would be less depressed and less anxious if they were all round more honest about their lives. In real life, they're stressed out, working too hard and popping pills. On facebook, their life is straight out of the pages of a glossy mag. Them on FB doesn't equal them in real life.

It's like those who go on about how wonderful their love lives are - sure, we believe you...

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 31-Dec-14 00:10:13

Hmm. With some people it is just bragging. Sometimes it's to paint a happy front on to a shitty reality though. One FB 'friend' spends a proportion of each day posting about how much she loves her "babies", how many Christmas presents they each had, how spoilt they are, what she is cooking them for tea "from scratch", how beautifully they play together, how well they are doing at school etc. etc. The reality is that she has fairly heavy SS involvement for neglecting her DCs, although the situation has improved somewhat recently. I know her sister very well, which is how I know about the SS issues.

It's almost as if she feels that if she can make people believe those things are true, then they will become true.

2015 Wed 31-Dec-14 00:15:27

I deleted my Facebook account years ago. I found the bragging tiring and really boring. I don't miss it at all.

There are some bragging MN'ers too. It's weird how some people think it's OK to brag.

DandyHighwayman Wed 31-Dec-14 00:58:28

Oh I KNOW, 2015.

<sips elderflower fizz, homemade natch, strokes uber handsome sex god dh's sleeping face, flicks through Boden catalogue, discards in favour of the Booths Christmas Book 2014>

wink

Italiangreyhound Wed 31-Dec-14 01:07:01

Agree with MsJupiter you put positive stuff up, sometimes things you need help with (my kids are sick anyone going to the shops etc), I once had a car accident and put it on facebook and got lots of sympathy and didn't need to tell people face to face. But if I were having marriage problems, debt, major sickness etc etc the last thing I would do was post it on facebook.

Bulbasaur Wed 31-Dec-14 01:10:34

Define bragging. British definition of bragging seems to be listing any positive accomplishment. Which I see a lot on facebook, and is nice to see.

Where as dictionary definition is more of an excessive gloating and self-appreciation, which I rarely see on facebook.

SuchSweetSorrow Wed 31-Dec-14 07:06:18

I'm not on Facebook anymore, but used to be a bit confused about the 'date night' posts with various photos and updates. Seriously, get off facebook and enjoy your night together?!

Also the woman who was away for the weekend with her friend and posted TONS of photos and statues showing what a great time they were having- someone actually posed put your phone away then! Made me laugh.

Mmmicecream Wed 31-Dec-14 07:18:47

Depends what you class as bragging. Is half a dozen photos of a great holiday bragging? To some it is, some it's not. Sometimes it's in the eye of the beholder, and whether it's seen as bragging depends on how much you actually like the person in the first place.

As others have said, it is easier to post about the positive though. I suffered a bereavement (a family member) early last week but don't have the words to say what I feel, so haven't said anything about it. I have, though, posted about a mini-break I've been on since as it's easier and nicer.

I loathe people being drama llamas and digging for sympathy on FB so that may have influenced me too, and having people I barely know saying "poor you, hope u r ok hun" about something so fresh and raw won't make me feel better either. It's self-preservation rather than being deceitful.

LePetitMarseillais Wed 31-Dec-14 07:27:08

Insecurity, however it is what it is,the whole of it.Take it all with a pinch of salt.

HouseWhereNobodyLives Wed 31-Dec-14 07:34:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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