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Thank you cards

(47 Posts)
Chatelaine123 Tue 30-Dec-14 21:30:37

AIBU to consider that organising/encouraging children to pen/draw/scribble a thank you note, however tedious that may be, is not only good manners but a necessary part of their social education?

AuntieStella Tue 30-Dec-14 21:33:49

A note (whether on paper or via email) yes of course, especially if the item was sent (as donor will be able to check that everything ordered got there safely).

And it's a quick, easy way of pleasing people, so a good habit to have.

But actual cards (as per title) are never necessary.

fredfredgeorgejnr Tue 30-Dec-14 21:34:26

YABU, thank you notes are not important, expressing thanks is, it is an electronic world now, you can do personal thanks so much easier, and the personal is better than the impersonal of a letter.

UmizoomiThis Tue 30-Dec-14 21:39:00

No, it's a cultural thing as far as I'm concerned.

Never heard of them outside of UK and US. Personally I think it's a bit odd - thanking the person when they hand you the gift is more appropriate. And a phone call to posted gift means more than a card (in my opinion).

LadyLuck10 Tue 30-Dec-14 21:39:21

Thank you cards, people don't need to do that anymore. Yabu. 'Social education' grin

Topseyt Tue 30-Dec-14 21:43:44

For me a phone call, email or text message is fine. It is what we do here in this house.

LuckyCharms Tue 30-Dec-14 21:47:10

It's a rule that only seems to apply to children.

Every single adult I know just phones or sends a text to say thanks if they're not there in person.

Children aren't idiots, they can see the hypocrisy.

wheresthelight Tue 30-Dec-14 21:47:11

I make dsc's write thank you notes especially to family we haven't seen over christmas. it is good for them to learn that however tedious it is there is a social necessity to express thanks and when the gift giver is an elderly relative there is an expectation that a written note will be sent

NancyRaygun Tue 30-Dec-14 21:48:15

I think it is good manners to send a card.

MarjorieMelon Tue 30-Dec-14 21:50:55

Agree with LuckyCharms. We are not living in an Enid Blyton story. Thank you can be expressed by various means you don't have to send a poncey card unless you want to.

Bigbadgeorge Tue 30-Dec-14 21:51:21

I think in person is fine, no cards necessary. I don't get thank you cards from my nieces and nephews and I dont mind at all, just glad if they liked their pressies!
It's quite an old fashioned thing to do- I have done it on occasion for elderly relatives

MsVestibule Tue 30-Dec-14 21:51:42

If they thanked the giver in person, it's not necessary. If they didn't, then yes, a card/letter is nice, but as long as it was acknowledged in some way (text/phone call/email), I wouldn't be bothered how I was thanked.

Allbymyselfagain Tue 30-Dec-14 22:01:08

Im 31 and still write thank you cards. I think it's best practise. It doesn't matter if I hand the card to the person and thank them in person as well. It's just the polite thing to do. Someone took the time to select, buy and wrap a present for me so I think it doesn't take two minutes to write a nice card thanking them and saying what I liked best about the gift or what I plan to do with it etc.
Maybe im silly and old fashioned but the children who send me thank you cards tend to have more effort spent on picking the perfect present for them because I know they are grateful for that effort.

Rivercam Tue 30-Dec-14 22:04:21

Thank you letters are good manners

nic013 Tue 30-Dec-14 22:04:31

I don't expect to receive a thanks for giving a present. Obviously it's nice if they do but I have no expectations. It's their choice to make.

I normally text, pm or ring someone to say thanks because I want them to know that I appreciate the gift and that it got there ok.

Hugsfromdermot Tue 30-Dec-14 22:06:19

I do think its good manners for children to send them but have to say I mainly insist on them for my DS who has terrible handwriting for some sneaky practice!

Phineyj Tue 30-Dec-14 22:13:36

Most parents of young DC I know (including me) send a card with a photo of the DC. People seem pleased to get them - I always am, as if I'm posting a present that probably means I don't see the child in question very much. If a child were moaning about writing one I'd point out polite children get future presents, so worth doing if you liked what was sent! I do remember having to manufacture fake gratitude for York Fruits etc though.

toomanywheeliebins Tue 30-Dec-14 22:19:16

I am (still) amazed by the sheer quantity of presents my children get bought. They are the only small people for about 15 adults and it is utterly overwhelming. For example my DH beloved aunt (no children herself) asked for a few ideas for Christmas. I sent her maybe 5 ideas per child thinking she would buy one gift and she bought the listwink.
So yes, I do insist on them. It's my way of trying to stop them being spoilt! The 4 yo writes her and her sisters name in a card. We do 2 a day. Next Xmas she will have to write a bit more. grin

Only1scoop Tue 30-Dec-14 22:21:17


Thank you notes and cards are lovely....I love some good old fashioned manners

newyearsresolutionsnotforme Tue 30-Dec-14 22:22:57

YABU I much preferred the ten minute talk I had with my DN where she thanked me for my present, told me what she did with it and asked me about my Christmas. Lovely and personal, she enjoyed calling me and I love listening whereas a forced scribble by a child made to do it is tedious to them and goes in the recycling after a while.

They need to learn to say thank you and be polite but a call or face to face is much more important imo because it involves social interaction. Cards are less so because they do go in the bin pretty soon after and unless made with want they are not that much of a thank you anyway.

newyearsresolutionsnotforme Tue 30-Dec-14 22:25:37

Though if you are including emails and calls in the saying thanks then YANBU, if you mean cards themselves then you are imo.

QTPie Tue 30-Dec-14 22:28:25

Depends whether you see the person when/after you open the gift or not. You could phone instead maybe.

Saying. " thank you" - in some way - is important.

Bambambini Tue 30-Dec-14 22:29:25

This comes up so often. Some people are not brought up with this tradition, it's not the norm in some cultures. If you think your norm should be forced on everyone else because you think it is the only proper way then sod off!

EatDessertFirst Tue 30-Dec-14 22:36:44

If we can't thank in person for gufts we send a card. My DC go all shy on the phone. DD also quite enjoys writing them and people we send to seem to appreciate them.

Each to their own, but thanks should always be forthcoming in whatever form.

EatDessertFirst Tue 30-Dec-14 22:38:56

WTF are 'gufts'?? Clearly I mean 'gifts'. Not sure what my phone is thinking.

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