To scream? And ask for help??(29 Posts)
I have a 5 month old who has always been the perfect baby. Until now.
About a week ago she started screaming every time I put her down. When you go back, she's immediately all smiles. I really don't think there's anything wrong.
But I cannot. Cope. With. This.
I put her down and get 2 steps away before the scream starts. I get NOTHING done. My toddler is being neglected.
Why is she doing it? How can I stop it? Why why why why why??
I'm only managing to write this as she's now feeding. I haven't eaten today and there are nappies everywhere.
I've never experienced this before and it's bloody hard.
And I know it's just a crying baby and some people don't have any legs etc etc and I'm sorry for complaining but the pitch and the noise is just awful and I think I'm going to start hallucinating soon.
Get a sling, carry her on you. I know a few people who have done this an it's saved their sanity. Hugs.
Sorry that must be tough. Is it colic or pain? Sometimes being upright rather than lying down is comfier?
How about a sling so she can be carried whilst you tend to other things?
Sorry can't be more helpful
I tried a sling, it was about a mile long and I couldn't do it so I sent it back
made it into a new sail for my galleon. I've got a baby bjorn but apparently that's bad for her.
Plus she's massive and I'm small so I find carting her about quite uncomfortable. Thanks though.
Look up wonder weeks. dd's most stressful 'developmental leap' was around the 5 1/2 month point.
Would also second a sling.
I hope it passes soon for you. For us it was a couple of weeks but felt like it lasted forever.
Playmat? My DS loved kicking his legs like crazy, me and DD would lie with him and all kick out legs too - it was something to do together. Then I could usually nip off and 'get something' and leave them for 5 minutes.
I feel your pain, DS was lovely until 4 months then something went wrong and he became Velcro baby - I did the sling thing and it helped enormously.
If you don't get on with a tie it your self style sling see if you can find a cheep caboo closer sling. Mindlessly easy to use, just like putting on a tshirt and really comfortable. Dd was at the larger end of the scale and everyone from my then very plus sized dad to my tiny cousin was able to use it comfortably.
She's literally been no trouble at all until now. DH is working v long hours at the moment so he's no help in the day.
She has a playmat, bumbo, ring, bouncer chair, door bouncer, tons of toys from older child. Something might entertain her but only for 5 mins tops.
She is starting to sit up now - could it be a developmental thing?
And will it ever end???
Will look that up waiting, thank you
Oooh I remember this! It's because she's learned that she's separate to you...and that you're an entity in your own right. It doesn't last. It will end...quite soon. Then she'll crawl and you will tear your hair out again!
I couldn't cope with a sling...my back wasn't in good enough condition after birth so I just used to take my baby along with me on a mat...I'd pop her on the floor in the doorway while I washed up....same when I went to the loo or wherever.
. It's a phase, it will soon pass, it won't last long. However, while you're in the middle of it, it will feel like an eternity. Mutter this mantra...This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass...and fucking quickly before I put you outside for the bin man! Just remember, you can say what you like she doesn't understand any of it, but watch out for your toddler parrot!
Have a look at a book called the wonder weeks if you can, it explains some of the stages they go through developmentally.
I have 16 months between my 2 and got an ergo baby carrier which has been amazing when my youngest goes through a really clingy stage, don't know how I'd manage without it.
My husband swears by ear plugs. They don't block the sound out but just take the edge off while you get something essential done.
1) there is no evidence a baby bjorn is bad for her. It may not be the best position for her hips and is not the most comfortable thing for your back but there is no evidence that it causes harm so if it works for you, use it.
2) there are other slings out there that are not big long bits of fabric. Is there a sling library near you? If not some, such as the north east sling library, do postal hire and you could get a very easy to use sling that goes on just as easily as your baby bjorn but that is more comfortable for your back over longer periods of time. YOu can also use them for back carries which may enable you to keep baby close while doing things with your toddler. Just try a hire sling, small price to pay to see if it works or not.
3) it WILL pass. I promise.
4) Because it WILL pass then do whatever it takes to get you through. If toddler spends a while watching way too much telly then so be it, you can wean them off again later.
5) buy lots of easy food. Ready cooked chicken drumsticks, breadsticks, hummous, bagged salad and prechopped veg so that you can manage a decent lunch. YOu are not helping anyone by not eating.
6) few more days and toddler groups will be back on and you will recover some sanity and be able to feel less guilty about the toddler. In the meantime go to the park lots wrapped up in warm coats. Screaming sounds less painful out of doors and if you have exercised the toddler all morning you can stick a DVD on guilt free in the afternoon.
My DD (now 2.5) was like that, velcro baby! Just wanted me but hated the sling/baby bjorn. Separation anxiety, teething, developmental stages - you name it. She was just happy on me (and only me!) from the minute she was passed to me after my c-section with her.
Frustrating at times because DS was exactly 2 when she was born and I really struggled at times. I'm sure I used to put her in the buggy and keep her in the kitchen/wheel her around with me when I needed to do things. At around 8 months it got better. She used to cry if anyone other than DP, DS or my parents even spoke to her...never mind pick her up!
We moved just after her first birthday and she became Miss Independent all of a sudden. She is still very much a Mummy's girl - if anything is wrong she won't shout for DP, just me. If he picks her up, she'll lurch towards me lol!
I never had any of that with DS so was a bit of a shock. Then again, he didn't sleep through (if you like) until 16 months old. She did from 5 weeks. Swings & roundabouts!
Yes it will get better. Developmental stages are tough!
I second a sling, DD2 would have driven me insane without one, she must have read every book on attachment parenting.
Sorry if i am being dense but are we talking nap time, or other times in the day?
Re: slings, maybe try a Babyhawk type sling if you didn't get on with the long wrap sling. They're still versatile, but a little less daunting.
Don't worry, she'll soon be mobile and it will keep her more occupied.
My lo is like this. She goes through phases when it gets a but better nd then a bit worse again. A few weeks ago she would only sleep for about 20 mins at a time but is going for about 3 hrs at a time (average) now.
I would try a sling again if I was u. U can get slings that fasten easily with buckles like baby bjorns but have a wide sseat so keeps baby's hips in a good position. Look up connecta or rose nd rebellion. See if u have a sling library near u. I wouldn't have a clue how to use stuff if I didn't get help from my local sling library.
Have u heard of wonder weeks? U can get an app nd it basically tells u when the brain will have ... growth spurts is probably the simplest explanation.
Hope things get easier soon. Hugs
Thank you everyone
She's asleep now so I've had a few moments of just breathing and now I'm shovelling toys up. DH strolled in from work half an hour ago and asked what was for supper. Lolz galore.
Spoke too soon. Thar she blows again!!
It's a phase but you have to eat. If this means her sitting crying in her bouncy chair for 5 mins with you in the kitchen while you cook, do it.
My dd2 is 6 months and is just getting over a very clingy phase, she still has it a little as she's full of cold, it will get better, before you know it they are 6/8 and 18
Bubble machine. Honestly, no matter the apoplectic state of either of my 7month old twins, putting the bubble machine on for ten minutes totally distracts and calms them. It has strange hypnotic properties and should be on prescription for all mums
also might clean carpet just slightly.
Oh - and a possibly more useful suggestion - will she sit in a highchair in the kitchen while you cook / shovel down a lunch of biscuits?
Easier to use slings are available too. The Galleon sale type are cosy but yes, nearly died on more than one occasion when I left the tail too long. Bjorn carriers not bad for babies, just put some pressure on their hips, so not great for extended periods. Other inward facing carriers might help - like an Ergo.
Hope that helps - you have my sympathies.
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