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To feel like this

(10 Posts)
Sunnydays999 Tue 30-Dec-14 18:15:54

I don't know if it's my low self esteam or what ? I'm a size 16 reasonably in proportion but I do have a flabby tum .i need to loose stone and a half and tone up .i feel so em arrested when my husband sees me naked iv been bigger and smaller but think he's thinking gross
Iv asked him before if he would tell me if he thought I'd put weight on - he said no As would upset me .he doesn't comment if I gain or loose weight .
He can be very critical of other peoples sizes tho- I think if he says that about them is he disgusted in me

Hatespiders Tue 30-Dec-14 20:58:03

What will irritate him is you obsessing about your size, shape and weight.
The sexiest women are those who are uninhibited and carefree, not the Barbie doll-type models who are wrapped up in their own appearance. Have fun, be adventurous and exciting in bed, but don't give one second's thought to how he sees you.

If you think it will improve your health and well-being however, you're at the right time of year for starting keep-fit, exercise stuff at a gym and going on a sensible diet. (Not one of those two-lettuce-leaves-and-a-tomato rubbish)

Take your dh's word for it. He doesn't find you overweight, but he will if you keep harping on and on. Men hate that, I find.

Sunnydays999 Thu 01-Jan-15 10:49:10

I think it's because he comments other woman are makes me think how does he see me

GingerbreadPudding Thu 01-Jan-15 10:56:17

It doesn't really matter what he says. You're asking him if he thinks you've put on weight - he's hardly going to say yes is he?! Lose the weight, you'll feel better and healthier and you can stop worrying about it. Size sixteen is a bit weighty but what he's saying is that he loves you and doesn't want to offend you by saying you have got a bit bigger.

I've put on a tonne of weight since getting pregnant. Once I have the baby I will start to lose it. I wouldn't ask my husband what he thinks of the weight gain as, frankly, i don't like it and that's enough for me.

So if you feel fabulous then keep the weight, if you don't - lose it. At size sixteen it won't be too hard to lose enough to feel good.

SirNoel Thu 01-Jan-15 11:13:55

Well yes, if he's making critical comments about other women of a similar size, then yes I should imagine it would make you feel like shit.

Doesn't mean he doesn't love you no matter how fat or slim you are, but it isn't a particularly pleasant way to behave. Do you question him when he does this?

IAmAllImportant Thu 01-Jan-15 11:29:37

Maybe, because he loves you, he sees past your size!

SaucyJack Thu 01-Jan-15 11:37:24

I doubt he thinks you're gross if he loves you.

But equally, if you think you would feel better about yourself if you lost a couple of stone then now's the time to do it. You could have it off by Easter with not too much trouble.

editthis Thu 01-Jan-15 12:10:25

As others have said, don't think about him but about you: if it bothers you, do something about it. It's an easy time of year to start as everyone's hungover and poor so won't be going out for a bit! Size sixteen isn't huge, give it a month and you'll feel amazing. Good luck.

BlinkAndMiss Thu 01-Jan-15 12:52:01

You issue is with how you feel, don't project that onto your DH. He may or may not have a preference of size but clearly he loves you regardless which is, I assume, how most relationships are.

If you feel bad then you need to make a change, don't project it as being your DH's issue with your body otherwise that will affect your relationship. This is a lesson I'm learning at the moment whilst pregnant with DC2, I feel gross but DH hasn't said a thing. I was upset because I thought he was judging me for putting so much weight on - he wasn't, he didn't even consider it an issue. I've gained most of my 'expected' weight and I'm not even half way through!

I know it's a cliche but you have to be happy in your own skin to be happy with another person. Life is too short to spend being so down on yourself, make some small changes and see how you get on.

Fluffyears Thu 01-Jan-15 13:13:40

he can be critical of others because he has no attachment to them. He loves you, the whole package of you. So lovely of him to say he'd never mention your weight as he is considerate of you feelings. If he still fancies you and wants sex with you then your size is not an issue.

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