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To ask for your views on children and room sharing

(95 Posts)
frostyrivers Tue 30-Dec-14 14:31:07

DD is 7 years old, and DS is 5. They have shared a room since DS moved out of ours and seem to love it.

However, I'm very conscious of two things - firstly, that being different genders, they will need privacy at some point - and secondly, that we have no way of moving for the foreseeable. sad

When do you think the maximum age for children of different genders to part company is? They turn 8 and 6 in the spring.

mommy2ash Tue 30-Dec-14 14:33:18

I think once puberty hits they need their own space. it's a time when they can be very self conscious. of course if your kids didn't mind then there is no set age they shouldn't share at

Madlizzy Tue 30-Dec-14 14:36:57

I think they're likely to tell you. DD was around 9/10 when she moved into her own room.

DaisyFlowerChain Tue 30-Dec-14 14:37:14

Before secondary unless puberty hits first at the very latest. DS started to get very self concious at 8.

Mymumstillreadsmymail Tue 30-Dec-14 14:37:34

My dd is 9 my son 6. To me my two would be past the age of sharing a room (tho they do on occasions where we have guests or are on holiday)

I guess as they get older, they could get changed in the bathroom instead of in their room.

I think teenagers deserve privacy as much as adults, somewhere to chill out, relax that is totally their space. However I think it actually starts earlier than teenagers, puberty is awkward enough without sharing a room.

Personally my absolute cut off would be once the eldest is at senior school.

wheresthelight Tue 30-Dec-14 14:40:38

I would say once your dd gets to about 9/10 you will need to find a way to give them separate space.

my dsc's are 11 and 9 and share a room at their mum's house since she moved in with the om. I personally think it is wrong and they should be in separate rooms, dsd could share with her step sister but om refuses to disrupt his kids and tbh I can understand his pov. that said dsd is starting to become shy about her body when it comes to showers and getting dressed and dss has long since started to investigate his body so I strongly feel they should be sharing but it's not my call. here they have separate rooms.

if you don't have the ability to move can you find a way or erecting a room divider maybe using curtains or some furniture to give them some private space?

Fwiw most councils near me state that in council properties siblings of the opposite sex cannot share a room after 7

VikingLady Tue 30-Dec-14 14:41:05

Housing benefit pays out for another bedroom when the older child is 11, so councils say it is ok for them to share until then.

wheresthelight Tue 30-Dec-14 14:42:21

shouldn't be sharing sorry

frostyrivers Tue 30-Dec-14 14:42:35

Madlizzy I can see that that might happen if you have a spare room in the house, but since we don't, I'm not sure they will verbalise this.

It's so, so difficult. DD starts senior school in three years and whether or not we will be in a position to move then has a question mark over it. I hope so.

Mymumstillreadsmymail Tue 30-Dec-14 14:43:18

How many rooms do you have? Do you have a bigger bedroom that could be divided up into two smaller rooms (tho I would guess this would affect resale value) or do you have a downstairs room you and your dh could have?

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Tue 30-Dec-14 14:44:51

DD and ds1 shared until she turned 10 through choice.

ILovePud Tue 30-Dec-14 14:45:33

I think our local authority has the guideline that opposite gender siblings can share up to 10, I think that's about right. It's a difficult one, in an ideal world I think all children would have their own room to have some privacy after that age.

frostyrivers Tue 30-Dec-14 14:46:08

No to both. Our property is - lounge, kitchen, bathroom, two bedrooms. There really isn't a way to give them a bedroom each other than DH and I moving into the lounge, which is a possibility but a very, very reluctant possibility as the lounge is small and cramped as it is!

fakenamefornow Tue 30-Dec-14 14:48:23

Can you convert the loft?

I think it's fine children sharing rooms if they are the same gender, in fact I heard a such about it found that teenagers get more sleep if they share.

frostyrivers Tue 30-Dec-14 14:49:37

No, it's a flat smile

fakenamefornow Tue 30-Dec-14 14:50:04

Study, not such

zzzzz Tue 30-Dec-14 14:52:29

Can you split their room?

frostyrivers Tue 30-Dec-14 14:59:17

zzzzz - it isn't really possible due to a large ornamental design and we can't change this (listed building) and also due to the size of the room - both rooms - are a reasonable size but not in the sense we could have two rooms out of it.

notinagreatplace Tue 30-Dec-14 15:00:04

I don't know that gender makes that much difference - I used to share occasionally with cousins of both genders and, if anything, I think I was more self-conscious in front of the other girls (because I felt they were more likely to judge my body) than the boys.

I think it's ideal for kids to have their own rooms - for privacy, for space - but I don't think it's the end of the world if your kids end up needing to share. Kids having their own rooms is a very modern phenomenon - most people in our parents/grandparents' generation grew up sharing, often with a number of siblings.

MrsTawdry Tue 30-Dec-14 15:01:13

is it housing association? If it is then they must move you....you might even qualify for a HA house if you don't already have one as two DC of opposite sex over 10 make a priority...at least in my county.

MrsTawdry Tue 30-Dec-14 15:01:41

Is there a dining room?

zzzzz Tue 30-Dec-14 15:04:19

Is the kitchen big enough for a remodel to kitchen-living room?
Could you move the kitchen to the sitting room for an open plan. Thing and remodel it into a third bedroom?

piggychops Tue 30-Dec-14 15:06:14

What about splitting the room up the middle with a curtain. You'd need to give them half a window each...

zzzzz Tue 30-Dec-14 15:06:22

Sorry that lost something in the typing! blush

Biggest room becomes living room/kitchen, other three rooms make into bedrooms.

SapphireMoon Tue 30-Dec-14 15:07:13

Living in non rented accommodation [mortgage] my boys are going to have to share.
So, if I had a boy and a girl would some unwritten law be broken if shared until left home?
Must be difficult for families who have no other real option.
Parents in livingroom would be our option if had to give separate rooms or moving to cheaper area.

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