to think I didn't buy enough toys this Christmas?(17 Posts)
OK, I don't really think that I suppose but I feel I never really get it right and am starting to find this holiday a struggle. I spent a fair bit, but not more than I can afford, they had a nice sized pile and were happy with what they had but now they seem to have nothing to play with! It seems to be games, craft sets, puzzles that need help or supervision, outdoor stuff that we can't use in the snow or electronic stuff that needs to be limited.
Dd has no interest in doing anything other than singing along to fucking frozen, or doing project stuff that I can't do all day, and D's, while he seems happy enough, is an appeaser and I am sure there is something missing and he is just being polite or something. I just wish they would play with figures and get engrossed in something imaginative, but they seldom do and I wonder if it's because I don't buy enough sets or there is just something wrong with my parenting.
I do realise what a load of nonsensical drivel the is and I am partly down as it is my first Christmas as a lone parent- I keep thinking bhow in a few years I will be alone for Xmas and I am wasting the best ones in this crap, but I can't help it. And it's not just my circumstances- I have always been anxious and find it hard to see positives and this is one of the reasons my marriage failed- that and h being a cheating bastard, of course.
Anyway, just needed to vent and really hoping for a virtual kick!
How old are they OP? I remember mine being like this...at Christmas I mean. If they're small it's tough because most things DO need help with setting up etc.
Mine are 10 and 6 and this is the first year where they've both actually played alone....I didn't buy anything unusual either....some craft sets which the smaller one will need help with haven;t been done yet....but you seem to be adjusting still so you will feel odd and a bit down.
What are your DC doing now? Mine are sort of trailing about the house....not doing much!
I feel like I haven't bought enough presents every year, mainly because the DCs' birthdays are both late November and it always seems like they get masses of stuff. When xmas eve comes I suddenly realise it's a very small pile (can 2 presents make a pile?) and start stressing, till the extended family presents start coming in. Yesterday they played with a big cardboard box and they are not even toddlers anymore! Have you tried playing board games with them...ours generally end in tears as both DCs are such bad losers but it's generally fun up to that point and feels like positive parenting.
How old are they?
Mine are 3 and 4, and I leave them to craft and play games alone 95% of the time. Usually I just help them set up or give and idea for project if needed, then let them get on with it.
We actually brought them very few toys this year as already had stuff they want for now.
They are currently masking taping boxes and wrapping paper together to make a robot. Then drawing and sticking stickers on it. I'm in the bath, and dh is in living room with them but he's working so only half keeping an eye on them
Thank you for replies. Feeling a bit better now after crying in the shower .
They are 7 and 5 and part of the problem is they have very little in common. The only things they like to do together are electronic based, or just very silly- winding each other and me up . They are now putting silly songs on Youtube on their hudl, but obviously can't be left to do that for too long. I am currently hiding in the kitchen, feeling like a lame parent .
We play a lot of board games, but it can't be done all day and ds got one (Forbidden Island) that he seems to love but it is beyond dd, takes ages to play, so is a bit of a nightmare for us atm, really.
I wish they would do stuff like you describe, Artandco, but they rarely do and, if they do, it will often end in tears as the boxes fall apart, or the dc get different ideas about how to play and end up screaming at each other.
Luckily we are off out in a bit, so no more wallowing; unluckily, it is ice-skating with stbx that we are going to, so it will be challenging in another way.
Christmas hols cabin fever! Sympathise. Remember that it is supposed to be Good For Children to get bored...
i feel like this every year. my dp tells me i will say there are not enough presents and i say i wont. i do. then i catch myself on and remind myself that there are people who cant even afford my meagre haul.
I feel the same, at least in relation to DD (nearly 4). DS is 6 and massively into Lego and can spend all day building/playing with it. He loved his main present and got a few board games that we have all joined in. DD wasn't really bothered by her main present, which she had specifically asked for, and couldn't settle to play with anything by herself for very long. I think she had enough presents, just not the right ones. I will have to think hers through more carefully next year. Sadly, the kids don't play nicely together. DS is very territorial about his stuff and isn't good at sharing and DD is a wind up merchant and then the fighting starts.
Don't feel bad, there's nothing wrong with hiding in the kitchen for a bit, I am
I have a 7 year old who can largely entertain himself - he has lots of lego and playmobil and is happy reading. I can dip in and out of what he's doing and leave him to his own devices a lot.
My 4 year old, however, doesn't really play at all and wants me to do everything with her. All day, every day. She has lots of toys but isn't that interested. She is very full on and always has been, and the end doesn't seem to be in sight yet... I'm sure it will come and I'll miss being so needed but sometimes I do feel bad for just craving space and a bit of quiet.
Can I suggest wrap them up and chuck them outside for a bit. My Ds has a friend over and despite all his Christmas stuff they have so far played an old game, built a den and now having a pillow fight.
Don't assume they need the big stuff
They may well be acting exactly the same way if you'd bought then twice as many toys TBH! Please don't think you're lame. It's normal to get stir crazy especially after Xmas!
I find lego and jigsaws great, and any craft materials are good if they are more open ended rather than complicated instructions - Hama beads etc.
Do they like puzzles? I spent a good few weeks really explaining and showing and helping them how to find the corners, do the outsides, follow colour matching etc.. It's really paid off as now I can leave them doing a puzzle on the table for ages. The can do 100 piece ones atm but takes a while so passes time nicely
We are I suppose a bit lentil weaverish though! We don't own a tv, and they don't use the iPad etc, so in a way haven't learnt technology to be entertaining yet.
Oh and I recommend letting them free access to the duvets/ sheets and towels. Buy them a large pack of pegs! Let them peg everything up like a huge den. Provide a picnic lunch underneath..
If it's any consolation, mine are similar. They prefer electronic stuff together and spend a lot of time bickering (dd 8 teases a lot and DS 6 is super sensitive so it can be a tightrope walk sometimes working out what has actually happened and calming the situation down).
Re. crafty stuff, I think a lot depends on the child. Dd has always been into craft and can happily make stuff out of whatever is going with no supervision. Ds is just crap in that respect - it doesn't interest him and they've both had the same parenting from me. Thankfully he's into lego, so I use that to distract him away from electronic stuff.
So no real answers, but just know that you're not alone!
Good luck with the ice-skating trip. Hope it's as painless as possible under the circumstances.
I'd leave them putting silly songs on the huddles for as long as they were doing it without arguing!! You're going out ice skating later, so it's not like they'll be doing that all day.
(Why are you going? Sure cheating-twatty-arse can take them on his own, that's what contact is for, contact for the children, not time to torture you!!)
Do they have lego? Craft stuff? Kids games? (Like the orchard ones that don't need an adult?).
I think it's probably that you need to stop being so 2014 and start being more 1979... Tell them to go and play, nicely. Amuse themselves. Find something to so. Kids are far too directed and entertained by their parents now, most have very little time to get bored and learn to amuse themselves. Do them a favour and let them get on with it while you do your stuff.
At 7 and 5 why is contact with the ex with you? This would at least give you a break x
I think lots have already said it - parents nowadays seem to worry that they need to provide "activities" for their children all day every day.
When mine ventured a "I'm bored" I used to enthusiastically point out lots of chores that needed doing.
They soon scurried off to read/draw/play with whatever.
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