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to ask if you are an awkward hugger?

(42 Posts)
BritFlop Tue 30-Dec-14 04:49:14

I was brought up in a loving but not very tactile family. I find it a bit odd how "huggy" people are. When DP friends (male and female) visit they all go in for a hug. Now it's messed with my etiquette radar and I hug all friends when we say hi and bye. I'm sure it comes across really awkward cos I'm not a natural hugger. I got carried away recently and went to hug my dad - he was obviously uncomfortable, now that I'm aware of it I realise he only gives hugs on birthdays etc!

I think I'm going to persist with hugging until it becomes more natural, don't want my son being uptight like me.

So is hugging standard behaviour nowadays?

NorwaySpruce Tue 30-Dec-14 04:51:48

I don't hug people at all.

I am quite up front about it though, and I'll just proffer a hand to be shaken instead, whilst proclaiming that I'm not the buggy type.

NorwaySpruce Tue 30-Dec-14 04:52:10

Huggy type!

MargoGetYourGun Tue 30-Dec-14 04:55:56

My family are the same. Not tactile at all. This whole hug and kiss thing had gone too far! Now I do it as our seems to be the done thing in dh's friendship group but i often wonder if some of the recipients are thinking eeww get off me!

EatShitDerek Tue 30-Dec-14 05:48:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

306235388 Tue 30-Dec-14 06:20:24

I do not do hugging apart from dh and the dc who I hug constantly. Neither of my kids like hugging people other than us either but I think that's ok.

I'm quite open about it now and just say I don't like it. When I was first out of Uni I used to take the first few days of the year off so I wouldn't have to kiss anyone for new year!

QuickSilverFairy Tue 30-Dec-14 06:28:32

I am an awkward hugger because of my lack of height. When you are 4'11, hugging often means squashing your face into someone's boobs or worse. I tend to hug only my dh and children to avoid any close body contact social weirdness.

EatShitDerek Tue 30-Dec-14 06:38:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morloth Tue 30-Dec-14 06:56:20

Depends on the person.

There are people I hug and people I don't.

Just do what comes naturally.

One note, I never make my kids hug/kiss anyone if they don't want to.

DS1 is a hugger and DS2 is a hand shaker, and that is just fine.

QuickSilverFairy Tue 30-Dec-14 07:18:21

Derek, I noticed you put that .5 in!! Sometimes, I can achieve 5' if I mess my hair up enough! grin

Hugging can be an awkward experience for those not blessed with height. It just feels too personal to me, somehow.

SuperMumTum Tue 30-Dec-14 07:35:11

I hate this invasion of personal space. Hugging, kissing, urgh. All my friends know this though and its only MIL left to get the hint. I hug DP and DD only and then I still have to remind them that I can't stand being touched unnecessarily.

noblegiraffe Tue 30-Dec-14 07:36:58

Hugging can be awkward for tall people too! You end up with faces in your chest! I was always quite jealous of short huggers who could come under and up whereas I loom over someone and have to sort of squat to avoid wrapping my arms around their head.

Hate hugging. And kissing. Hopefully it comes across in my super awkward body language when introductions/farewells are made as I'm not called to do it very often.

Mehitabel6 Tue 30-Dec-14 07:43:22

I find it easier if you know someone is going to hug- I find the uncertainty of whether they will or not difficult.
I find it very easy to give anyone a hug if they are going through a difficult time,and there are no words, otherwise I prefer not to.

TheLastThneed Tue 30-Dec-14 07:48:35

I thought you were asking if people are awkward buggers...

Yes, I am an awkward hugger for the same reasons you state...

TipseyTorvey Tue 30-Dec-14 07:53:20

Apart from DH and DCs I only hug people I haven't seem for a really long time or close female friends if they are upset. Other than this a quick almost air peck is more than enough. I had to train MIL ( lovely lady) out of trying to kiss me on the lips (wtf!!!) but she knows now .

ReallyBadParty Tue 30-Dec-14 07:55:20

Yes, I am awkward too.

Hate hugging and kissing of anyone other than DH and DCs, (but am quite snuggly with them.)

I also hate handshakes: just don't touch me, I scream inside grinblush

Itsgoingtoreindeer Tue 30-Dec-14 07:58:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FloatIsRechargedNow Tue 30-Dec-14 07:58:37

Misread the title - thought you were asking if I was an awkward Bugger - yes I can be. Also a bit of an awkward hugger too.

ASunnyTiger Tue 30-Dec-14 08:04:03

My family only do hugs or speak of love when drunk. I remember when I was about 4 or 5 I went it to hug my mum and she pushed me back telling me I was to bony and horrible to hug, not like my brother who was soft like a teddy bear. As a child if anyone tried to hug me I'd try to make myself as stiff and unpleasant to hold as possible, in my head I was imagining myself being spiky like a hedgehog. So yeah, I'm not one for being touchy feely with others. The only people in the world I like to hug are my DH and 2 children, everyone else is through obligation.

Mrsstarlord Tue 30-Dec-14 08:05:17

I love hugs but take my cues from other people as to whether to go in for a full on bear hug (not so keen on the kissing though). My ds2 gives the best hugs really clings to you like a limpet, ds1 hugs like a limp lettuce leaf, when he gives us a proper hug it's really touching.

peasandlove Tue 30-Dec-14 08:07:05

always hug and kiss everyone. I didn't maybe 15yrs ago and found it awkward but now it's normal. Everyone I know does it and I only wont if I know the other person would feel uncomfortable.

PeppermintInfusion Tue 30-Dec-14 08:08:26

Me too, I usually just hang back and people get the hint. Especially hate it at funerals, weddings etc.

My company has an office in France- visiting there is a nightmare as you have to give everyone the "bises" everyday blush

Sparklingbrook Tue 30-Dec-14 08:09:53

I am not a hugger at all. V close family ok, anyone else just don't touch me.

itsbloodyfreezing Tue 30-Dec-14 08:30:14

An awkward hugger and don't even get me started on kissing - hate it. Wish I could just say hello and goodbye to people without all the rigmarole!

itsbloodyfreezing Tue 30-Dec-14 08:31:07

Especially hate hugging other women the same height as me when your boobs get squashed together. And anyone with a beard!

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