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To wish I waited to have kids.

(79 Posts)
notnow2 Mon 29-Dec-14 22:00:59

I had my first dc when I was 27 because it was what I really wanted. I have 3 now - they are 3,5,7. I am 35 and now a lot of my friends are having babies and I feel broody and a little jealous. I enjoyed my babies but it was hard work and I feel that it went by in a blur. I feel that the best part of my life is over andcibsjould have waited to experience it.

notnow2 Mon 29-Dec-14 22:01:15

I should

Quitelikely Mon 29-Dec-14 22:01:58

Have another?

SaucyJack Mon 29-Dec-14 22:03:10

Yeah, YABU.

It goes by in a blur regardless of what age you have them. Waiting doesn't make any difference.

AlpacaMyBags Mon 29-Dec-14 22:04:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Galvanized Mon 29-Dec-14 22:04:14

But your friends are now going through that "blur" stage. You can offer your help and expertise, and you get to go home at the end of it! The baby stage is exhausting, your kids are lovely ages now.

SomethingOnceInRoyalDavidsCity Mon 29-Dec-14 22:04:55

I enjoyed my babies but it was hard work and I feel that it went by in a blur.

I think that's the case whenever one has children.

That said, I wish I'd started younger!

My mother would tell you to look forward to GC smile

notonyourninny Mon 29-Dec-14 22:05:30

You might have felt like that anyway? Do you want a fourth?

WooWooOwl Mon 29-Dec-14 22:06:07

It would have been hard work whatever age you had had them at.

It's natural to feel a bit sad when you have had your last baby and you know you won't have a newborn again, but the best part of your life is not over! Not unless you chose for it to be anyway.

Your children are still young enough to give you plenty more years of pleasure, and although it's not the same as having very little ones, it is just as good.

stillenacht1 Mon 29-Dec-14 22:06:25

I know what you mean- i had mine at 26 and 30. My eldest is 15 the eldest cousin he has (there are 7 cousins) is 5... Both of my DSis and SIL started mid 30s. I remember feeling quite lonely esp after DS1 as none of my friends were having babies around then. However I dont want any more!!smile

notonyourninny Mon 29-Dec-14 22:07:03

Btw I had the first at 23 and last at 34. I

notnow2 Mon 29-Dec-14 22:07:06

Sadly DH is against any more hmm

SomethingOnceInRoyalDavidsCity Mon 29-Dec-14 22:07:14

Stay in for NYE and make your own entertainment. See what happens wink

Fabulous46 Mon 29-Dec-14 22:07:19

I was 17 when I had my first and by age 23 I had 4. No matter what age I'd been I think the years would have whizzed past.

Iggly Mon 29-Dec-14 22:08:18

You mean you wanted them when your friemds had them?

SomethingOnceInRoyalDavidsCity Mon 29-Dec-14 22:09:00

That was a cross-post - I'm not suggesting you make a unilateral decision!

ZeViteVitchofCwismas Mon 29-Dec-14 22:09:53

yes much older than you and its all a blur.

notnow2 Mon 29-Dec-14 22:10:33

I suppose I just want that time again.

Backtobedlam Mon 29-Dec-14 22:11:24

I had my first at 24 and feel a bit left out now all my friends are having theirs in their 30's and I'm past that stage. Feel very lucky though when friends are stressing about sleepless nights/weaning/trying to hold a conversation with baby in tow, while my 2 who are now older are happily amusing themselves, feeding themselves and going off to the toilet when they need it! Pros and cons

notonyourninny Mon 29-Dec-14 22:12:18

Perhaps 2015 is the year to re-open talks with dh

BackforGood Mon 29-Dec-14 22:12:50

What saucyjack said. Its nothing to do with your age, its to do with the dcs' stage.

LuckyCharms Mon 29-Dec-14 22:15:08

I'm 39 and have a baby and I'm fucking knackered. Blur doesn't even come close!

Plus when yours go off to uni or whatever, you'll still be young enough to enjoy your freedom. Your friends will be nearly pensioners before they're free grin

MaryWestmacott Mon 29-Dec-14 22:15:10

I think it's hard to do something 'out of step' with the rest of your friends, if you have DCs early or late compared to your friends, then you're more likely to feel like you've missed out not doing it with everyone else and sharing that with friends you've gone through other big life changing events with.

It's rather sad you think the best bit is over. They still need you so much now. They are so much more interesting. You can start to get yourself back just as your friends are emerged in 'baby world'.

lotsofcheese Mon 29-Dec-14 22:18:06

I'm 42.5 & had my DC at 36 & 41. My contemporaries, who mostly had their kids 10-15 years ago, have all got their lives back, while I'm up to my eyes in nappies & snot.

However, I was travelling the world & having a ball in my early 30's while they were starting their families.

It's all horses for courses.

Worksallhours Mon 29-Dec-14 22:21:25

Don't feel despondent, op. The grass is not always greener.

I "waited" to have children. It wasn't exactly intentional, more driven by life circumstances over those years, but I have just lost my first child to pregnancy complications and I am 38.

I now wish desperately that I hadn't waited to start a family. I don't have many years left to have a successful pregnancy.

You never know what might have happened if you had waited. You cannot assume that your three dcs would have turned up the same, just seven years later.

Don't berate yourself.

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