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To be annoyed that my Mum keeps talking about Me & DP using condoms?

(22 Posts)
MinnieM1 Sun 28-Dec-14 21:57:45

Just that really, she keeps making comments about us using condoms or 'putting a sock on it' whenever she leaves the house these are her parting words to us, I got vair vair drunk last night and she text me this morning asking if we'd used a condom, she bought DP condoms as part of his Christmas present and found it hilarious hmm
Now we're quite an open family but honestly it's getting weird, I generally do the "mum you're not allowed to talk about sex" and laugh it off but the text this morning just was odd
I lost a baby in September so I can't help but feel hurt that she's being oddly keen for me to not get pregnant again, like she doesn't like my kids and wouldn't have loved that baby (dramatic I know) but really why else would she do this?
What do I do? If anything?

McSqueezy Sun 28-Dec-14 22:01:59

Hmm, sit her down and have a serious conversation with her. Ask her why she is making these comments, ask her to stop and tell her that you find them offensive/inappropriate.

GingerbreadPudding Sun 28-Dec-14 22:18:28

Are you 17?! There is NO reason why your mum should be involved on your sex life in this way, it's weird and intrusive. I bet you don't make comments about her sex life! I would drop the smile from your face and tell her, next time, 'mum, just drop it now, it's weird and makes me feel uncomfortable.'

Mintyy Sun 28-Dec-14 22:20:46

How old are you?

Stop having your mum so involved in your life.

drudgetrudy Sun 28-Dec-14 22:22:07

I often have difficulty asserting myself but in this case I would have no problem at all in telling her to mind her own fucking business shock

MinnieM1 Sun 28-Dec-14 22:22:52

Minty you have no idea how involved in my life she is? confused I haven't mentioned how often I see her or speak to her and I have already said that I find these comments odd, obviously implying they're not a normal/regular type of conversation for us
What a strange thing to say

Gabriola Sun 28-Dec-14 22:23:00

Turn it round and start asking her what she's using etc. Might bring it home to her how out of order she is.

MrsDeVere Sun 28-Dec-14 22:26:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheeseBuster Sun 28-Dec-14 22:27:08

Are you very young?

MinnieM1 Sun 28-Dec-14 22:29:44

I'm 25 DP is 29, we've been together 8 years have 2 kids, jobs, mortgage etc so we're not particularly old but it's not like we're silly teenagers either

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream Sun 28-Dec-14 22:30:09

Maybe she is worried that you couldn't cope with another pregnancy/ shouldn't have another child? I would probably ask her what's behind the questioning. Or tell her to mind her own business.

MinnieM1 Sun 28-Dec-14 22:51:39

Gabriola I might try your suggestion, I don't think I could sit down and have a serious conversation about it tbh

AgentZigzag Sun 28-Dec-14 23:33:16

Talk about overstepping the boundaries!

Stop joking about it when you answer and tell her to stop mentioning it.

I don't think it's a good idea to turn it round and start asking her about what she uses, it'd be giving mixed messages.

Whatever's behind her going on, it's totally inappropriate and none of her fucking business.

Vycount Sun 28-Dec-14 23:39:52

"OK Mum, enough of this now. I'm starting to be really offended by you keeping on about this, so let's not fall out over it - please stop".

spinduchess Sun 28-Dec-14 23:41:54

Christ she is being weird. Understandable if you are 16, not as an adult.

She needs a short, sharp shock. Tell her to fuck off, and that what comes out of your fanny is none of her business.

SorchaN Mon 29-Dec-14 02:16:10

Yeah, that's weird. I'd talk to a teenage child about condoms, but not an adult who already has kids. The Freudian in me thinks she's probably envious of your sex life - or at least, what she imagines your sex life to be. I agree that you should tell her to back off - you're old enough to be fully responsible for your sexuality and contraception, without her help or intervention.

MammaTJ Mon 29-Dec-14 05:26:29

I think she sees how much losing the baby in September hurt you and wants to protects you from further hurt!

This is still not appropriate but sometimes seeing the good intentions behind things people do and say makes them easier to deal with! I am not saying you should allow it to continue but knowing this may make it easier to talk to her firmly but nicely and get her to stop!

Good luck OP!

rootypig Mon 29-Dec-14 05:34:04

I lost a baby in September so I can't help but feel hurt that she's being oddly keen for me to not get pregnant again

This is your answer. Sit her down for a chat when you're own your own and both in a gentle mood, and ask her to tell you how she feels about it. It's your life and your body, absolutely - but it can be almost unbearable to see your child suffer. She's going about it all wrong, but she's just afraid for you.

BathshebaDarkstone Mon 29-Dec-14 06:04:06

That's bloody rude! I wouldn't quite tell her to fuck off, because I don't talk to my parents like that, but I'd blank her every time she said anything about it. fangry

NoArmaniNoPunani Mon 29-Dec-14 06:10:31

How terribly rude. Match her rudeness by telling her you don't need condoms as you only do bumsex. That should shut her up

BathshebaDarkstone Mon 29-Dec-14 07:36:14

fgrinfgrinfgrinat Armani

MinnieM1 Mon 29-Dec-14 10:56:42

Armani fgrin I nearly choked on my tea!
Actually thinking about what you've all said I think it probably is that she doesn't want to see me in the state I was in this summer, I had HG with the pregnancy was in hospital 4 times with it, then lost the baby at 11 weeks and had to have an operation to remove it. It was the worst few months of my life and yes she was there for a lot of it
I never really even thought about how traumatic it must have been for her But yeah it really must have been
This makes me much less annoyed and weirded out by her behaviour thanks guys, I think I'll just make it clear that we are in no rush and I absolutely couldn't face another pregnancy yet myself so she needn't worry, hopefully she'll stop then
...although Armani's idea is very tempting grin

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