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To ask what the etiquette is when you can hear your neighbours shagging loudly through the walls?

(109 Posts)
Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 28-Dec-14 20:58:06

We live in a semi-detached house with very naice neighbours in a quiet street

They moved in about a year ago and we've had various drinks etc with them, take in parcels, get on well etc. However, we have a slight problem in that we have recently started to hear them shagging loudly through the wall.

On average, I would say that we hear them about three times a week. Only the wife and not just a little bit of noise but a LOT won't go into details for obvious reasons

It all probably seems quite funny but it's actually not, really. I am probably being incredibly precious but my 11 month old's room also shares the adjoining wall and we can hear noises in her bedroom - although not as badly as in ours - and I would really prefer for her not to be party to all of this. . In our room, we have to have the TV (yes, we are chavs) turned up to about 50 to try and drown it out, which is nearly deafening.

How do we approach this? Can we? The neighbours always appear a bit prim so the whole thing is potentially mortifying.

CrohnicChristmas Sun 28-Dec-14 21:03:39

Round of applause as they finish?
Pretend that you and DP are shagging (bang the headboard against the wall and moan a bit)- if they think they can hear you they'll realise you can hear them.
Next time you have a conversation with them say something like 'I hope LO didn't disturb you last night, s/he's teething and you know how thin the walls are' and give a knowing look.
Next time you have a drink with them, pretend you're pissed, blurt out 'we can hear you shagging you know' and pretend you have no memory of it in the morning.

19lottie82 Sun 28-Dec-14 21:06:13

I'd either shag or pretend to shag really loudly and hopefully they will realise how thin the walls are and hush it up a bit.

MrsDiesel Sun 28-Dec-14 21:06:25

I think you could move?

Sorry I don't have a better answer, could tour dp broach it with the man next door?

movingtoourwillow Sun 28-Dec-14 21:06:39

Bang on the wall??

TravelinColour Sun 28-Dec-14 21:07:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 28-Dec-14 21:09:06

I would actually die and not laughing if I thought they could hear us. Thankfully with an 11 month old and a just 2 year old, we don't go in for that kind of thing much these days [catsbum mouth]

The rest of the suggestions have given me quite a lot of possibilities though grin

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 28-Dec-14 21:11:21

DH is actually their dentist. Should he perhaps say something at the next appointment. Maybe when they have their mouthes open and can't say anything?

WidowWadman Sun 28-Dec-14 21:11:21

We found that applauding on finishing sorted the problem swiftly.

MaidOfStars Sun 28-Dec-14 21:12:43

Just shout. I've done it. After weeks of an upstairs neighbour working on her Number, I stood underneath her bedroom one Sunday afternoon and screamed 'Shut. The Fuck. Up' (punctuated as indicated). She stopped and not a word was ever mentioned about it.

skildpadden Sun 28-Dec-14 21:14:50

I would move before the child is old enough to realise, that's the neighbours shagging again.

I can hear my next door neighbour rolling over in bed. It's horrible. Why are walls so thin.

edwinbear Sun 28-Dec-14 21:17:01

I had this with a lovely new neighbour who moved into the flat above us. He met a new girlfriend and they were very enthusiastic, as you are in the first throes of passion. They would wake us up at 2am in the morning quite regularly, so eventually I left a note under his door asking if he was aware his headboard banged on the wall and would he mind moving it away slightly as it was waking us up. It worked and neither he, not us ever mentioned it in person.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 28-Dec-14 21:17:15

I don't understand why the walls are like this - it's a Victorian semi so pretty well built. Actually, I think it's indicative of how loud they are.

We'll just have to move, won't we

RandomMess Sun 28-Dec-14 21:17:20

Read the thread in Classics about this, was a resolution at the end grin

Monmouth Sun 28-Dec-14 21:19:49

Wait until they have finished then jump on your bed and do a performance of your own.

If you can hear them, they can hear you.

fluffyraggies Sun 28-Dec-14 21:20:41

I'm sure a round of applause would do it. Not too antagonistic either.

pingpongmerrilyonhigh Sun 28-Dec-14 21:30:38

Tambourine-bang in time

bloodyteenagers Sun 28-Dec-14 21:30:50

I changed my wifi name over the years
Thesewallsarepaperthin
Wecanhearushagging
turndown theory
No1screamsthatloud
Oishesfaking

One time was having a party and the neighbours were at it. We were all pissed, stood out on the balcony. When they had finished we all cheered and clapped. Shouted encore, 8 out of 10 for effor, 20 out of 10 for real porn sound effects..plus
Other stuff. We were cracking up laughing.

bloodyteenagers Sun 28-Dec-14 21:31:44

Turndown theory should read turndowntheporn bloody autocorrect

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos Sun 28-Dec-14 21:32:47

Do you have a link, Random, or a clue as to what to search for?

annabelcaramel Sun 28-Dec-14 21:33:07

Shout 'severrrn' in a Len Goodman styley at the end???

RichardParkerTheTiger Sun 28-Dec-14 21:33:55

Shout 'she's faking it!' at the end

Easterchuck Sun 28-Dec-14 21:34:09

Changing wifi name, fantastic grin

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 28-Dec-14 21:36:46

ShowOfHands thread I think, very funny.

flumpysocks Sun 28-Dec-14 21:38:11

Count your blessings. We lived next door to a real screamer with a boyfriend who could go for hours. They moved out and instead we now have a couple who yell and rant at each other non stop; instead of sex noises he couldn't really understand, our son is now regaled all day with swear words he most definitely can (and does).

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