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To think nobody will believe it was an accident this time...

(171 Posts)
RedFacedReindeer Sun 28-Dec-14 19:42:10

...if I'm pregnant again?

NC. Anyway: DS, now five months, was a happy and statistically highly improbable accident. I had a copper coil in and though it had not moved and did not appear in any way defective, he nevertheless turned up. As DP and I were relatively new together, I'm a full-time student and we... <whispers furtively> aren't married yet, this caused much consternation with our friends and families. As over the years I've often said I'd like to have children relatively young, and DP has apparently said the same, there was some eyebrow raising that it was really an accident.

Anyway, everyone eventually got their heads round the idea, uni have let me take a year out, DS is now the apple of grandparents eye, DP and I have almost got over the shock/ got accustomed to the lack of sleep, and I'm looking for childminders in preparation for going back to studying next academic year. At some point I said to my mother it would be a shame there'd be such a big age gap before the next one (I really want to finish studying and get career established - 6 years before even trying) and she said 'just don't go there', as if I was suggesting taking another year out to have more.

Anyway, I now have a horrible feeling I know what the last four days of enhanced sense of smell and room spinning and terrible nausea feel like. And it's not norovirus. Going to POAS asap but SERIOUSLY. We've probably only dtd about ten times since he was born, and are using durex extra safe ffs! AND I'm breastfeeding. (Awaits barrage of 'you can't rely on that for contraception you know...)

If it comes back positive, WIBU to just tell everyone we've planned it like this as nobody will bloody believe we could have two such 'accidents' in quick succession??

(Fwiw though, dire financial and career and space in our tiny flat implications aside, I'd bloody love another baby grin. Probably definitely getting ahead of myself though...)

Lazymummy2014 Sun 28-Dec-14 19:45:42

He he! No, they might not believe you, but bugger it, a lovely new baby! Sometimes life gets in the way of even the best laid plans.

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat Sun 28-Dec-14 19:47:13

No one believed my second was an accident. Split condom. Morning after pill.
I couldn't have done much more apart from not have sex I wish I had said he was planned.

notagainffffffffs Sun 28-Dec-14 19:47:36

Ahhh I hope you are smile

MinnieM1 Sun 28-Dec-14 19:48:11

Do you have to specify whether it was planned or not?
"We're pregnant, baby is due in why ever month" end of sentence surely? confused

Carrierpenguin Sun 28-Dec-14 19:48:23

Congratulations. First you need to poas though! I wouldn't worry what anyone else thinks, just make the financial and practical arrangements for welcoming dc2 if you are pregnant.

JontyDoggle37 Sun 28-Dec-14 19:48:29

Apart from the fact that you will probably never dare to have sex again, even with 3 condoms on! to be honest it's no-one else's business. You as a couple decide what you want, and go with it. If other people don't like it, their loss. You are adults and are forging your own life together. Best of luck either way (but please let us know the results of the POAS!)

CalleighDoodle Sun 28-Dec-14 19:48:42

Tell them not to be so judgemental.

And POAS woman!

MrsHathaway Sun 28-Dec-14 19:49:23


Let them think what they like - they will anyway, regardless of what you say.

waithorse Sun 28-Dec-14 19:49:51

Why would you care what anyone else thinks ?

Ujjayi Sun 28-Dec-14 19:50:02

It is nobody else's business. I cannot abide people asking pregnant women if it was "an accident". Why should it matter to anyone except you & DP?

Congratulations OP. If you are both happy with the situation that is all that matters. You are a grown up & a mother. Embrace it & tell the others to mind their own business.

Yikesivedoneitagain Sun 28-Dec-14 19:51:44

Wouldn't even be thinking about it without poas. Anyway, you really don't need to take a yr out of university, it's just a baby! I had my first while doing my masters, first day of second year was my due date. I got a distinction too, and completed a 6 month placement.

Good luck!

JollyJingle Sun 28-Dec-14 19:52:17

Bit late now but I would never rely on condoms alone but be on the pill too!

If you are then you can still have a career at the other end of childrearing! Best laid plans and all that!

fuckwitteryskitchenisfucked Sun 28-Dec-14 19:52:54

I had split condom and failed morning after pill with my third and no-one believed it was an accident not even my DH grin. Don't worry what people think

mytartanscarf Sun 28-Dec-14 19:52:59

Durex extra safe, assuming you didn't use more than one at a time, should have ensured no pregnancy UNLESS it split.

Surreyblah Sun 28-Dec-14 19:55:39


saltedcaramelicious Sun 28-Dec-14 19:57:16

Congrats. You need to POAS though, could just be some weird virus? It's not the end of the world, I was in your situation about 10 years ago but turned out to not be pregnant. Looking back I wish I had been, for various reasons! Good luck.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sun 28-Dec-14 19:58:22

Probably not, but so what?


RandomMess Sun 28-Dec-14 19:59:42

I had a 14 month gap between my middle two, it's lovely even 11 years on grin

ithoughtofitfirst Sun 28-Dec-14 20:01:01

Op... Y U NO POAS?!!

PoppySausage Sun 28-Dec-14 20:01:56

Poas!! grin

GothMummy Sun 28-Dec-14 20:03:18

I have a God daughter, concieved while using condom which came off and after my friend took the MAP too. She is a beautiful lovely young woman.
POAS please!

RedFacedReindeer Sun 28-Dec-14 20:05:37

Thanks all you've made me feel better! I think just announcing and providing no explanation at all sounds good. (AND POAS first obviously.) But yes if it's positive I will obviously never ever have sex again after this baby. Or DP will have a vasectomy, instantly.

Unfortunately I probably would have to take another year out as it's medical school and they faff about you taking more than three weeks off, presumably in case you miss the bit about how not to kill people. I couldn't even have walked three weeks after DS was born, much less have resumed commuting into London. And that's assuming working up to the birth as well which I did last time because his due date was my last exam and I was buggered if I was going to miss it.

But yes, shall go to the chemist tomorrow with more of a spring in my step now smile .

GotToBeInItToWinIt Sun 28-Dec-14 20:07:56

Ah who cares what people think! As long as you and DH are happy smile. Realistically I know it's not that simple, I am currently 12 weeks pregnant with a 13 month old DD, it was completely unplanned and I am getting upset because my PIL keep saying things like 'ah I knew you'd have another soon, I knew you wouldn't go back to work' bleh bleh bleh. Trying to take it with a pinch if salt, but I know they'll be talking about it behind my back. Pretty sure they think I'm taking advantage of their PFB and am with him for his money (he doesn't have any by the way smile).

mytartanscarf Sun 28-Dec-14 20:08:14

It's no bad thing! Makes sense to me to get it "over and done with."

My friend got pregnant by mistake at 19 but was in a committed relationship and decided to marry her DP and to try for another baby when their DD was 1, and go to university afterwards.

She had twins! So there was a point where she had three under-2's. She was brilliant though.

She is now training to be a midwife grin

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