Heating

[Lime8]

Aibu to shout at my dh about heating. It's bloody freezing and we have a new baby.

I asked him to put heating on and he said he would. I noticed it wasn't coming on so I asked him why and he said it was due to come on timer soon. Actually it was over an hour til the timer comes on. How tight can one man be?

Then I ran a bath for our baby. Water is cold. I half filled bath whilst I got on with chores.

I ask him about that and he says he switched the timer for that claims we discussed it. We didn't, having a baby means I need access to hot water all the time (washing bottles, hand washing, nappy changes, baths etc at unpredictable times).

He says he is saving money. And we can't be constantly boiling water! I get I am on maternity leave but I am not sitting at home freezing with our baby to save a few quid. Things are not that tight.

Surely if they were he would not have "treated" himself to a very expensive gadget the other day and spent 150 quid on sale shopping for himself today?!

Another thing is we are in credit with gas and electricity! He says our water bill will be affected, but surely having water on all day won't make that much difference to either bill? Isn't it worse to have the boiler come on and heat the entire tank up to temprature from ice cold than keep it at a constant warm temp? We have an old boiler not a nice new combi boiler.

I am so angry (and cold). So aibu or is my silky tight selfish husband?!

[TheNewSchmoo]

He's a total arsehole. But then tightness is my most hated trait. How can he care so little for the health of his child.

Actually raising arsehole to massive twat.

[MakkaPakkastolemystone]

Errr what's stopping you putting it on? He's not physically stopping you is he? In any event YANBU. He's being a controlling arse.

[WooWooOwl]

Your husband is being tight.

[aquashiv]

Why don't you just put it on yourself?

[afreshstartplease]

Turn it on

I once had a midwife visiting me in early days with Dc1 tell me how she had had to tell three families that week that their houses were far too cold

[Andrewofgg]

Jut do it yourself. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness - or complain about it on MN.

[Lime8]

I was feeding when I asked him to put it on. He said he would do it. He's always changing timer on it. Even if I did change it, give it a few days and he would find a more "efficient" way to run the heating and hot water. When he's at work it's on all day if I'm cold. If it gets hot, I turn it off obviously.

[skylark2]

" He says our water bill will be affected"

I don't understand how your water bill could possibly be affected, unless he thinks you won't have a bath as often if the water is cold.

But access to hot water all the time doesn't mean your water heating has to be on all the time - it just means it has to be on often enough that you don't have a full cold tank when you need some. If your tank doesn't stay warm then you should get some insulation for it - it's far and away the most cost-effective insulation you can do.

[bigbluestars]

Why can't you put the heating on? Press the control. Part of becoming a mother is finding our tiger spirit.

Tell him to fuck off if he objects. Your baby is your priority.

[Janethegirl]

I'd let him have a cold bath. Ensure there's no hot water when he wants to bathe however I can be a real nasty cow when provoked.

[bigbluestars]

jan- love it!!

Or maybe he can sleep in the garden.

[LineRunner]

Put the heating on.

Tell him your water bill won't be affected.

[AryaUnderfoot]

I can't stand men (or women) who are generous with themselves and tight-fisted with everyone else. It's a horrible trait.

[Bakeoffcakes]

Tell him he is mean and that a divorce lawyer's bill is much more expensive than a heating one.

[Janethegirl]

Love it bake

[RoganJosh]

What sort of temperature is your house? Maybe you need to find some link showing safe temperatures for babies.

[higherhill]

LTB

[fluffyraggies]

Christ i couldn't have this OP. I get beyond grumpy when the house is cold.

Put the heating on, sort the timer to your liking and tell him if he touches the damn thing you'll be bloody angry and you'll just put it back where it was again.

Stupid man!

[Optimistletoe1]

I'm with Rogan on this one - get a room thermometer and a creditable source of information about temperatures and show him how warm it should be. Don't let him fob you off by telling you the CH thermostat is at x degrees - mine is set at 25, but the temperature in the living room reaches only 23 (after approximately 90 minutes of warming up after the heating comes on).

[Fabulous46]

I don't know where you are OP but our outside temperature is at -5 already. I'd switch the heating on whether he liked it or not. I can't be arsed with tightwads who think it's ok to spend money on themselves then act like Scrooge over heat or hot water. I couldn't live with someone like that I'm afraid especially with a baby in the house.

[helenthemadex]

tell the tight arsehole that £150 and however much his expensive gadget cost is quite a lot of hot water and a nice warm house

he sounds a selfish tightwad

[holeinmyheart]

Our heating system has always been the PAJO type of heating. This stands for Put Another Jumper On. When we were younger my DH used to open all the bedroom windows and have a face flannel on top of him. I would have on ear muffs flannel nightgown and bed socks, plus a down duvet and a hottie.
When we go out in his car I take a rug. If I dare turn the heat up, He claws at his neck, puffing and blowing about expiring.
When he is away I put the heat on full blast and remove the timer on the water heating system. I fill the bath with bubble bath and I can get out of the bath without cowering under towels. Warm bliss. Needless to say we are very well off, so it must be conditioning. My DHs family is just the same.
I agree with the replies that say you should get a themometer. You can't let the baby get too cold.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

We are a cold house family. When DD came we both needed the thermometer (given by a friend; I think a hint) to tell us how hot the house needed to be for a newborn. It was much hotter than we thought. Poor child is now conditioned and can run around in a summer dress in the snow. Very little ones need it hotter though and your DH needs to understand that.

[FlowerFairy2014]

It all comes down to money and power. I earn a lot. I happily pay £6k a year on heating and lighting and adore it. Every day I wake up warm and feel very happy that my career choice ensures I control the heat of the house. Basically feminism and female high earnings and out earning men ensures you get a warm house. It rocks.

We find it hard in the houses of other people - they are miserable and cold. I do not know how they can live like that.

[pregnantpause]

He's a twat.


I live in a cold house- I like it that way, but when I was on May with a tiny baby it was on 8 hours a day at least. Babies cannot regulate their temperature the way we do- they need a constant comfortable home environment- putting on a jumper isn't enough fir a newborn!

And dependant on the boiler having the hot water on constant is not boiling water all the time- if you have an older boiler with a water tank that's the case- but most people have modern combis now where the water is passed through a heat exchanger at a very high temp which heats the water- the reason there is a couple if seconds delay between turning on the hot water and it heating is because when you turn on the hot water tap it takes time (seconds) for the boiler to recognise the demand for hot water and open the gas valve to full to heat the exchanger.