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Do i have him spoilt

(12 Posts)
Physcobitch Sun 28-Dec-14 10:38:03

Another weekend morning where I have been up at the crack of dawn with the baby (7mo) while DH lies in.

DH works shifts when he is on a late shift (like last night) he doesn't get home until 3am so obviously I get up with DS. I am back to work Mon-fri full time. I bring DS to my DM everyday before work to be minded, so if DH has been on a late shift he still lies in while I go to work. I never get a lie in and I'm starting to get a bit pissed off he gets at least 8 hours a night late shift or not. I get up with DS as he's twething then I'm up with him every monrning at 6.30 AIBU to go up
and wake him at 11 for a break. I think I am being a bit of a cow he worked all over xmas im off for two weeks and being sarky about not getting a lie in

crapcrapcrapcrap Sun 28-Dec-14 10:42:46

I sympathise because DH also works shifts and tends to therefore get more opportunity to sleep undisturbed .. However,shifts are tough and screw up the body clock so I try to temper my irritation a bit ..

You should surely get the occasional lie in though - have you asked for one ??

Annarose2014 Sun 28-Dec-14 10:43:21

You're asking if youre BU to wake him at 11 after he's been asleep for 8 hrs?

When would he have gotten up otherwise??

wheresthelight Sun 28-Dec-14 10:46:34

My dp works nights on a rotating shift so he works 3 on 3 off, on his days off I insist I get at least 1 lie in as dd is a bad sleeper

wake him up and tell him you are going for a lie down/ quiet half hour and he is in charge

Physcobitch Sun 28-Dec-14 10:46:53

When he feels like it. When he gets up he will take the baby for a bit but by then it'll be time tor me to tidy up. God I miss undisturbed sleep so much

clam Sun 28-Dec-14 11:01:04

Leave the tidying up then, and nip off back to bed for a quick nap. Do any tidying when he gets back - either you do it while he supervises the baby, or the other way round.

TooMuchCantBreathe Sun 28-Dec-14 11:35:07

Don't wake him up and demand stuff, what a rubbish thing to do to someone! You should get your turn obviously but discuss it as adults. Tell him you want a turn and discuss how best to make it happen.

InAllFairness Sun 28-Dec-14 13:04:18

Youre pissed off because you're tired and need to catch up on some sleep. I would give my DS to my DM on a Friday night to get a much needed lie in on the Saturday. If DM doesn't really want her nights sleep broken then you will need to work something out. Clearly you are exhausted and want some sleep otherwise you would not be on MN. Or give you DS to your DM during the day on a Saturday so catch up on some sleep during the day instead. Wear earplugs so you are less disturbed.

Purplepoodle Sun 28-Dec-14 13:16:25

Think it's fair enough to wake him at 11 but then if I was you I would go for a nap. Weekdays there's no point in waking him as your up for work anyway but I think you need to talk to him about the weekends. If he's not in a late then he should be getting up with dc on a Saturday or Sunday. Could your mum babysit overnight once a week to help you get one good night?

wobblyweebles Sun 28-Dec-14 13:42:53

Of course you should wake him up at 11am, then you should go and get some rest.

Then talk to him about you having a couple of days a week where you either get a lie in or you get to sleep undisturbed. I'm assuming he doesn't work the late shift 7 days a week?

addictedtosugar Sun 28-Dec-14 14:08:48

I'm trying to work out what shift pattern he does that has a 2am finish.
Does he ever do nights, and come in at 7am? That would be one occasion you could get a lie in.

I think if he's been at work til 3am, it does need to be you that gets up in the morning, however, when he works earlies, there is no reason why he can't get up and leave you in bed.

Since it was me who heard the kids first anyway, I got fed up with waking DH to tell him to get up, so I would get up with the kids, and then go wake him around 9am (6 was a lie in for DS1), and go back to bed then. DH then took the boys out, and cooked lunch when he got back. Might that work for you?

Goingintohibernation Sun 28-Dec-14 14:17:05

I don't think sleeping until 11 counts as a lie in, if he is working until 3, it is the same as you sleeping 10.30 to 6.30, so in that sense YABU. However there must be times when he could get up with the baby. I don't think it would be at all unreasonable for you to expect a break, when he is able to give you one. You need to have a chat with him and point out that you are doing too much, and work out when it is your turn to get some unbroken sleep.

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