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To be annoyed at my oh

(12 Posts)
MissHJ Sat 27-Dec-14 16:14:43

Ok this is my first time posting.

My oh recently had his atm card chewed up by a atm machine. It took 3 weeks to get a new card. During this time he had no access to his money in his account because he lost his passport and the bank would not let him take out money without photo ID. Other than the Virgin bill, all other bills come out of my account and I generally use his bank account for day to day things or he will put some money in mine or our son's savings account. For the last month I have been paying for everything, all of christmas, all the bills, and it's been stressful trying to cover everything that my oh's wages would usually cover.

This is not the issue because I knew my oh would soon get access to his account. However he keeps going on and on about getting a ps4 with money that he now sees as saved. I think his priority should be putting some money into my account to cover the bill money, or putting some money in our son's account as he did not go out and buy one Christmas present for our son himself.

I can cover the bills just about on my own but AIBU that he seems to want a ps4 more than paying for what I have been covering. Lets say we can now afford to have that money saved, that could still go on replacing our sofa that is broken or the washing machine that is getting old. Not a £300 ps4 when he has a perfectly acceptable PS3 sitting there that is less than a year old anyway!

Am just really annoyed at him and resenting that all my money goes on bills and our son while my oh sits there playing his new game console.

I don't even want to talk to him right now. He thinks I am being unfair by denying him something he wants but I am not doing it to be a bitch, just feel there are more important things for that money right now.


ProcrastinaRemNunc Sat 27-Dec-14 16:18:44

YANBU!! First priority should be settling what he owes your account. In the event you are able to consider this money as savings, then first priority is the purchase of needs. Wants come last, if and when everything else has been covered/ settled/ purchased!

BeeRayKay Sat 27-Dec-14 16:21:05

Tell him to sell his PS3 and he can put that money towards getting a ps4 and then you'll look into options.

DaisyFlowerChain Sat 27-Dec-14 16:21:24

He should give you 50% of the bills then the rest is his. Surely he gets some say in what his salary gets spent on?

mumonashoestring Sat 27-Dec-14 16:23:24

Has it entered his tiny brain that by leaving you to pay for everything for the past month he might have 'denied' you the chance to spend money on things you wanted?

Do you usually split all bills evenly and both contribute to clothes etc. for your DS?

PonderousTortoise Sat 27-Dec-14 16:27:49


How does he not realise you have paid for things he normally does?

Is there scope for you to sort out an arrangement whereby you pool money for bills and household things and have small and equal pots for your own discretionary spending so you can both get things you want but don't necessarily need when you really have saved up for it?

Reekypear Sat 27-Dec-14 16:27:50

Sellotape two PS2s together and tell him to grow up.

Real men don't play boys games.

MissHJ Sat 27-Dec-14 16:36:35

Well all the money in my account usually stays there and all the bills are paid out of my account. Then my oh's wages pays for food, clothes, electricity, transport etc. It's always worked out better this way because he is not very good with money so it made sense to use mine for the bulk of it.

Daisy I am not denying him his money, merely asking him to replace what his wages usually covered. He does not earn a lot so the only way he could afford a ps4 right now is by using the money saved by not using his account. But that's money that would have gone on food, clothes etc and money that I have been struggling to cover and I have gone without. Usually we live quite comfortably generally but this past month have been without things like soft play for my son or his swimming classes. Not necessary no but then neither is exactly a ps4.

Selling the PS3 is a good idea, think I will suggest that it seems like a compromise.

5Foot5 Sat 27-Dec-14 16:54:24

It's always worked out better this way because he is not very good with money so it made sense to use mine for the bulk of it. shock

And you seriously have to ask if YABU?

How old is this freeloader? He sounds about 12. Have you pointed out to him that you and his child have had to go without things while his money was unavailable and does he still think it is OK for him to treat himself to an expensive toy?

Honestly, I am not one of those who immediately leaps on the LTB bandwagon but I cannot see why you would be trying to build a life with such a selfish adolescent.

glentherednosedbattleostrich Sat 27-Dec-14 17:05:06

But daisy its not his money, it is money the op has loaned him effectively.

BeeRayKay Sat 27-Dec-14 19:08:54

does he not do internet banking?

LIZS Sat 27-Dec-14 19:13:02

Agree he sounds very immature. Can you show him a statement of what you have funded . Tbh it doesn't normally take 3 weeks to get a replacement card. Does he not have a driving licence for photo Id?

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