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To think that a crutchless bodystocking is an awful present?!

(112 Posts)
Mumfortoddler Sat 27-Dec-14 12:03:16

I happened to peek over my boyfriends shoulder when he was ordering my christmas present, to my horror he has bought me a crutchless bodystocking. What is a reasonable reaction to have?
a) Fane affection for the said present
b) Express deep horror of being equipped with porn star style under garments erm, I am a size 12 and will look so hideous and unsexy in said underwear, and besides this is not my 'thang'.
c) Quickly shoe him out of the house before his child goes to bed, in the hope that I will delay the said present that is cringeworthy to another day, feigning prior evening engagements.
d) ANY other ideas? HELP!!!!! I have six hours to come up with a diplomatic solution.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard Sat 27-Dec-14 12:06:17

Pretend you think it's a bag to keep onions in it. Be overjoyed.

You like onions, yes??

CakeAndWineAreAFoodGroup Sat 27-Dec-14 12:10:16

Say "thank you, how lovely" and then put it to one side for now lose it.

I bet it'll be packaged like a pair of tights would be, child doesn't need to know what's in it.

Or say "I keep being given these this year!" and watch his face.

Also, it might not be for you... (work secret santa? etc)

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard Sat 27-Dec-14 12:12:51

Or say "I keep being given these this year!" and watch his face.


"Bob from next door got me this red. Are they in fashion at the moment?"

phoenixrose314 Sat 27-Dec-14 12:15:20

Laugh your head off.

It is the only appropriate reaction to this gift.

And if he seems upset/annoyed by your reaction, simply say, "you WERE joking, right????"

gaggiagirl Sat 27-Dec-14 12:15:49

Can you link to a picture of the offending item?
Do I need one?

Gawjushun Sat 27-Dec-14 12:16:04

E) Wear to next family gathering/ his work's do.

WowserBowser Sat 27-Dec-14 12:19:01

I would also assume it was a joke!

And it's 'crotchless'

GilbertBlytheWouldGiftIt Sat 27-Dec-14 12:19:21

Ask him when he's planning to wear it for you?

TheCheeseBoardStinks Sat 27-Dec-14 12:22:06

Why is he buying your Christmas gifts late or mega early? confused

Fairenuff Sat 27-Dec-14 12:22:27

Surely that's a present to himself though isn't it confused

I would say "I'm sure you'll get a lot of fun/pleasure from this, but what about me?"

Fadingmemory Sat 27-Dec-14 12:26:25

I agree with Faire... It's a present for him so ask him to wear it.

Cornettoninja Sat 27-Dec-14 12:31:58

Well at least it's not a thrush risk confused

I like the 'I keep been given these this year'.

Mumfortoddler Sat 27-Dec-14 12:47:05

Its a late un, only because we haven't seen each other over Christmas (who can blame me? I can't imagine opening THOSE in front of the family.)

I am going to laugh my head off. Then I am I am going to ask him when he's planning to wear it for me. That should do the trick.

Thank you WowserBrowser, I am impressed by your grammar grin

Now I think I aught to go for a few glasses of winewinewinewine before the present exchange. Should hopefully cover up the look of horror on my face fshock when I open them.

I really should put up my xmas presents on Mumsnet more often. You are experts at this fgrinfgrinfgrinfgrin

Mumfortoddler Sat 27-Dec-14 12:47:30

P.S. will definitely post results later!!!

pumpkinsweetie Sat 27-Dec-14 12:56:50

Say you are overwhelmingly greatful for your new Orange storing bag. Say that you are now extremley greatful he has found a product that will keep your oranges firm grin

Bogeyface Sat 27-Dec-14 13:39:50

My first thought was "I really hope the OP gets given this" because if you dont after you know he ordered it.........

But otherwise I would be laughing at the "joke" and asking where my real present was.

ithoughtofitfirst Sat 27-Dec-14 13:57:06


WowserBowser Sat 27-Dec-14 13:58:34

Will the results include photos Mumfor ? fgrin

Birdsgottafly Sat 27-Dec-14 14:06:11

""I am a size 12 and will look so hideous and unsexy in said underwear, ""

It's a shame that you feel/think that.

I wouldn't wear it, btw, but the lack of body confidence in women, is sad.

I would of used it as a starting point for a discussion about our sex life, but I like a varied sex life and I'm usually the one in the relationship that has to do this.

The person you are having sex with, finds you sexy, regardless of what you think you look like/size you are.

I do hope it's a joke, though, it's so cliche, but it might lead to other interesting, fun purchasers.

LuluJakey1 Sat 27-Dec-14 14:10:15

fenvy not!

Must be a joke. It must be. Please tell us it is a joke when you come back- and that there was something thoughtful and nice as well.

Flimflammer Sat 27-Dec-14 15:20:44

I bought myself one a few years ago, its so you can have great dirty sex. Be glad you have a man who thinks of you this way, put in on and enjoy. Would you rather he bought you a hoover?

Aeroflotgirl Sat 27-Dec-14 15:23:14

YANBU at all, yes do ask him when he will model it for you, as you are looking forward to seeing him in it fgrin

GlitzAndGigglesx Sat 27-Dec-14 15:23:39

Regift to your MIL!!!!!! Don't leave your name though

prettywoman35 Sat 27-Dec-14 15:51:12

mine got me a boob out chemise. At least I opened it on my own.

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