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To be cross MIL didn't warn us she was ill

(47 Posts)
grumpalumpgrumped Fri 26-Dec-14 22:40:54

Turned up to MIL house today for pre arranged visit, she was very poorly with a bad chest. Had we know I would have stayed home with DS1 (6) who is an asthmatic. Was really cross and just wanted to turn around and go home.

I don't think she gets how poorly a chest infection can make him sad

Now feel guilty as my face probably said it all.

onthematleavecountdown Fri 26-Dec-14 22:43:18

Did you stay or go home?

OldLadyKnows Fri 26-Dec-14 22:51:06

Is/was her "bad chest" infectious/contagious?

grumpalumpgrumped Fri 26-Dec-14 22:59:27

Literally had a flying visit, made our excuses and left. (yes should have said why but didn't want to create scene).

She had a heavy cold/cough so guessing infectious.

Theboodythatrocked Fri 26-Dec-14 23:02:21

Totally understand you being cross.

We would warn people.

Lots wouldn't though and nowt to do with intelligence or relationship.

26Point2Miles Fri 26-Dec-14 23:02:52

How does he cope with school? Kids don't generally stay home forthis kind of thing

grumpalumpgrumped Fri 26-Dec-14 23:08:15

I doubt a child would have been well enough for school. And I have to send him to school but we didn't have to visit today.

Maybe IABU but the thought of having a poorly DS when it could be avoided makes me annoyed. Guess I am a little over protective of him.

KnackeredMerrily Fri 26-Dec-14 23:11:07

As I was about to hand my newborn over to my BIL (who was about to take him) MIL warned me he'd been throwing up all night.

Thanks for bringing the norovirus to my house on Christmas day when I have a 14 day old and a toddler!!! angry

I know I know it's Christmas [grumble grumble] fangry

MrsMcTavish Fri 26-Dec-14 23:15:48

Oh my god knackered that's awful, and downright stupid and selfish of him to visit you with the norovirus.

I hope none of you come down with it.

grumpalumpgrumped Fri 26-Dec-14 23:17:08

knackeredmerrily angry that is spectacuarly selfish. Did you bleach him BIL that is.

KnackeredMerrily Fri 26-Dec-14 23:30:03

He snuggled into my Christmas throw all day which was a present fsad

I am so unhouse-proud, but I have washed blankets and towels already, bleached bathroom the moment he left and prayed.

I'm hopeful he actually had food poisoning rather than norovirus but we're still in the incubation period...

MrsMcTavish Fri 26-Dec-14 23:34:40

Reminds me of the time we went to SIL's house and she was laughing saying her sons kept doing horrible smelling burps and saying it must be because they'd both been sick the day before!

This was after we'd eaten a meal there and been there for 2 hours!

We then all came down with the bug. I was so angry that I refused to have anything to do with SIL for ages.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Fri 26-Dec-14 23:54:25

No agree I'd be annoyed as well.

Went to See a relative yesterday and one member plonked herself down on the sofa next to me playing with pet turtle, put it back, didn't was her hands and touched a whole load of other stuff, me DS2 and elderly relative there all with compromised immune systems, wished I'd said something but wasn't sure how bad the Salmonella/turtle thing was til I looked it up when I got home.

Spadequeen Fri 26-Dec-14 23:57:43

Not in the same league at all but I remember being furious with sil when she'd used my hairbrush for her kids hair then after I'd done my girls, told me they had nits. Fucking great, thanks for that

glampinggaloshes Sat 27-Dec-14 00:55:13

Would be annoyed. Have had my dd 2 with pneumonia. On oxygen fri a cough cold this Xmas. Nits shut and scary. She gets asthmatic post vial colds. Tell your family and friends they have to warn you. The last few days in hospital. Terrified with toddler on Nebs and oxygen. And surrounded by other kids from 3mths up. Too bloody awful and not worth anyone's sensitivities for a moment

glampinggaloshes Sat 27-Dec-14 00:59:47

Sorry about typos. But with a seriously child and this cough cold ibeing so so nasty., means you don't worry for a minute about anyone but your baby.

grumpalumpgrumped Sat 27-Dec-14 07:51:51

glampinggaloshes Sorry to hear that, hope she gets better soon. It is scary when they are so poorly. We were back and forwards to the hospital with DS1 when he was 5mths all over Christmas as he has bronchiolitis then a bad chest infection

JenniferGovernment Sat 27-Dec-14 09:38:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPepperMintonCandyCane Sat 27-Dec-14 09:49:30

I remember years ago offering to have my niece so that my SIL could go and get some food shopping a week before christmas. My niece was under a year old and my DS was just over a year old. She bought her with a streaming cold and temperature and was gone four hours. I just remember sitting with her crying on my one knee and my DS crying on the other and feeling awful because I couldn't settle her. We were all ill for Christmas then too sad

PunkrockerGirl Sat 27-Dec-14 10:00:30

To be fair, knackered, if your bil was well enough to visit you on Christmas day, he didn't have norovirus. Of course he shouldn't have visited you if he was unwell but norovirus involves far more than one night of throwing up.

It's like people with a cold saying they've got the flu. These days every minor stomach upset is attributed to norovirus. confused

Hope your dc are ok though.

gatewalker Sat 27-Dec-14 10:07:58

"norovirus involves far more than one night of throwing up."

Completely disagree, PunkrockerGirl. It can and frequently does involve one night of throwing up. He will still be contagious within 48 hours of his last vomit.

PunkrockerGirl Sat 27-Dec-14 10:11:49

We'll have to agree to disagree on that one, gate. I frequently nurse patients with norovirus and there's no way on God's earth they'd feel well enough for a bit of Christmas socialising after a night of vomiting.

Badgerwife Sat 27-Dec-14 10:22:00

My MIL had norovirus a couple of weeks ago and she puked for 4 days and nights, lost lots of weight and lost huge chunks of her memory of what happened due to how weak, out of it and poorly she was. She kept passing out trying to get out of bed and my FIL had to call an ambulance in the end as he thought she was going to die.

A night of vomiting (or the 24 hr bug) tends to be gastroenteritis and what we call the usual stomach flu. Norovirus is something else altogether.

Badgerwife Sat 27-Dec-14 10:23:38

Thankfully I have reasonable PIL and they stayed at home for Christmas and we skyped, instead of risking overdoing it and passing anything on.

Notanoldbat Sat 27-Dec-14 10:26:56

YANBU to be upset and it was thoughtless of her not to have cancelled the visit. Why anyone wants to have guests with a heavy cold is beyond me although if it's the big Boxing Day thing maybe she thought she had no choice but to go ahead. She should at least have called and offered you the choice. It's very difficult with an asthmatic child.

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