Wondering if I can get some accounts from others on whether I'm mad to expect this to be possible. I have a DD with my ex but he and I split up when she was two so she knows no difference and is 9 now. She's totally cool with having two homes and is very close to her dad and I and our respective new spouses.
My dsd is nearly 16 and has been my step daughter since she was 9 (parents split at 7) She is still incredibly angry about it and feels like her life is completely ruined and she will never be happy. She feels it destroyed her life and any hope she could have of being "normal". She is very angry at my dh and tells him often.
There was nothing dodgy about the break up. He left her, no affairs or anything, maintenance always paid. 50/50 contact for the first three years until her apparently complete and utter hatred of him and what he did when he "tore her family apart" finally got the better of them having a relationship. They now see each other once a week or sometimes less, for about an hour and he struggles to get anywhere with her without trawling through the ins and outs of how he has destroyed her life.
I don't want to drip feed so I'll say now that there is a lot of animosity from mum who also has never accepted what happened. But rather than go in to all of that I'd like to hear if anyone has experience of children of divorce kind of grieving the lost of their family unit, then moving on to become happy and stable people... dsd seems to believe dh and I are mental for even suggesting that she could move past it and be content with "her lot". He has suggested counselling/ family therapy/ talking to older relatives etc. to help her move on but she thinks it's pointless because "all children of divorce are broken people". Divorce is so common now, I can't believe such a huge proportion of the population are walking around seething with rage about their parent's divorce. Maybe she still needs more time.
I get that it's how she feels and I can't minimize that - what works for one won't work for another, but maybe someone could shed some light on how to get her to see her life doesn't need to be like this.
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AIBU?
To think that kids from broken homes can be fine and happy and lead normal lives?
207 replies
westielover · 26/12/2014 22:28
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