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To be sick to death regarding the negativity to my pregnancy?

(83 Posts)
SamiBE Fri 26-Dec-14 20:58:17

Ok so I'm 28, happily married with 3 DC.
My ds1 is 11 , dd is 7 and my youngest ds will be 1 tomorrow. My 4th is due in 6 weeks.
All I here from people when they see im pregnant
Is how hard I'm going to find looking after 2 babies, or always being asked "how the hell will I cope" I was even told by a former colleague that" I'm a silly girl for getting pregnant again" hmm

All these comments are really getting to me and making me feel down, I know it won't be the easiest of things but we will manage. I find that people just can't be happy for us and they have to get their two cents worth in, Why can't they see the positives such as having two that will grow up together and be close? It the fact that Im going to have another beautiful baby to complete my family?

Andrewofgg Fri 26-Dec-14 21:01:52

SamiBE - consider yourself hugged and congratulated by your (much) older brother, in fact that would have to be half-brother but who's counting, who would love another nephew/niece! flowers and if you like brew

AwfulBeryl Fri 26-Dec-14 21:03:50

Tell them all to fuck off while you can blame it on the hormones wink
I don't know why people do it, when I was pregnant with the Dts people constantly told me now hard it would be, how I wouldn't enjoy the first year, it would be horrific. I think some people have to re I do you that being a parent is hard, you know, just nixes you didn't figure it out by yourself.
Just ignore them.
Congratulations thanks

wanttosqueezeyou Fri 26-Dec-14 21:04:07

Sounds like you need a few stock replies ready depending on how blunt you want to be.
"Actually we're really excited"

"It will be hard for a while but we're very lucky"

"We don't think in that sort of negative way"

"Women have coped with harder than two babies since the dawn of time, I'll be fine thanks"

"We're really excited actually, we don't tend to have that sort of attitude to things"

"Unless you have anything nice to say I'm not really interested in your thoughts"

hth good luck you're going to need it

furcoatbigknickers Fri 26-Dec-14 21:05:41

Congratulationsflowers i have 4 and its great, I found people were more openly critical about my fourth. i am now more straight talking back stuff especially your colleague.hmm

AwfulBeryl Fri 26-Dec-14 21:05:50

Oh gosh typos shock bloody iPad is pissed on Christmas wine.

EbwyIsUpTheDuff Fri 26-Dec-14 21:07:49

my brother is 18 months older than I am. my mother "coped" perfectly well. You will too.

some people need to learn to keep their mouths shut, because their opinions stink.

SamiBE Fri 26-Dec-14 21:11:58

Wanttosqueezeyou - I LOVE your comebacks grin I think I may have to have a "hormonal outburst" soon.
As I said I know it won't be easy at times but that's just being a parent. I was anorexic a few years ago and we think it affected my fertility as only when I gained a decent amount of weight I fell pregnant with my baby (bf for 4 months which must have acted as a contraceptive as I fell pregnant as soon as I stopped) I feel very lucky to be able to have these babies but wish people would be pleased for us.

Wolfiefan Fri 26-Dec-14 21:14:33

I really don't understand why anyone feels they have the right to comment on your family.
Now perhaps if they said how can we help rather than it'll be hard....
Enjoy your lovely children. Tell them more children equals more love and laughter.

DaisyFlowerChain Fri 26-Dec-14 21:17:46

People are entitled to their own views but shouldn't say it to your face and should just say something simple.

Having grown up in a large family, its not something I would ever choose to do. Not enough time, resources or money to go round and the older ones simply end up doing the housework and child minding. I couldn't bring myself to be thrilled but would be polite.

Shakiraschristmasalbum Fri 26-Dec-14 21:18:09

Congratulations OP, and happy birthday for tomorrow to your DS.

There was only 13 months between my DH and his sister. Although DH wasn't planned so soon, my MIL says she loved having them so close in age.

furcoatbigknickers Fri 26-Dec-14 21:18:48

4 children is hardly a large family

furcoatbigknickers Fri 26-Dec-14 21:21:34

Ooh yes liking the comebacks. Also I find, I love having four big grin works well. while mentally giving them the finger

wanttosqueezeyou Fri 26-Dec-14 21:25:37

I'd be even more gushing then and say

"we're just blessed! there was a time when 4 children was just a dream"

<pitying face> "some people might find it a challenge"

thanks

Stillyummy Fri 26-Dec-14 21:26:30

I am 29. I have been married since I was 23. Currently pregnant with my first (after a little help) and fead up of people saying "was it planned?" And "you wait, your life is going to change"... Some people just seem to have a default setting of negative. Bastards.

furcoatbigknickers Fri 26-Dec-14 21:26:44

Mwaaaah

SamiBE Fri 26-Dec-14 21:28:21

I'd rather mentally poke them in the eye fgrin

furcoatbigknickers Fri 26-Dec-14 21:30:09

Ohhh yes that works well. An imaginery eye poke.grin

joanne1947 Fri 26-Dec-14 21:34:06

Enjoy your family. It is your family and no-one else should criticise you and your partner. I have four children, two born in the same year, January and December. Enjoy them and be happy.

MiaowTheCat Fri 26-Dec-14 21:34:47

There are 11 months between my two, and I had the judgemental comments (even from the health visitor and doctors receptionist). I always just replied that you cope with what life gives you.

Once the baby arrives you'll get the odd comment about having your hands full but it really does stop being judgy in that nasty way and people generally just think you're superwoman (revel in it!). Now mine are both toddler age I just get told they're a wonderful pair of little girls and how adorable it is that they're so close.

Ride it out!

CastlesInTheSand Fri 26-Dec-14 21:34:54

I have aDS and a DD exactly that gap apart. 13 1/2 months.

They are the best of friends and have spent all day playing with DDs new dolls house.

It's a great age gap. Congratulations.

AlexD72 Fri 26-Dec-14 21:53:29

I think that all the negative comments are jealousy,they are all jealous because you got pregnant so quickly after your third child.
And yes it may at times be a bit difficult but let's face it you have coped with three and being pregnant so fair bloody play.
Don't listen to negative comments. What would they know.

OopsButItWasntMe Fri 26-Dec-14 21:56:22

Plenty of people in my family and circle of friends have small age gaps like that. It is a bit hectic at the start but lovely as they get older. It's not very nice for people to be rude about your pregnancy. It shouldn't matter what number it is! Congratulations smile

MammaTJ Fri 26-Dec-14 21:57:41

54 weeks between DC2 and DC3! A bit crazy but I wanted my children to have the close relationship myself and DSis have! We have 17 months between us.

Take no notice, go to lots of toddler groups and enjoy!

magicpixie Fri 26-Dec-14 21:58:25

people are so rude try being pg with twins, you get rather you than me sad

which when your shitting yourself anyway isn't v nice sad

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