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to want one surprise?

(42 Posts)
Notsuretoday Fri 26-Dec-14 09:22:54

Dh asked me what I wanted for christmas - I named a CD, a perfume, and pointed out ahandbag when we were out shopping which he bought there and then.

He ordered the perfume on amazon and bought the cd with the tesco shop.

So effort involved - less than a minute?

Aibu to wish he had come up with just one little thing that showed he had thought about what I might like?

CalleighDoodle Fri 26-Dec-14 09:25:00

Yes yanu. He got you exactly what you wanted.

CalleighDoodle Fri 26-Dec-14 09:25:56

Yanu i meant!

CalleighDoodle Fri 26-Dec-14 09:26:32

Omg ive a fat thumb this morning!!! Yabu!

Aebj Fri 26-Dec-14 09:27:04

I wanted a bike but didn't get anything so be grateful

Sandthorn Fri 26-Dec-14 09:27:20

Really? That's quite a lot of presents... I can't blame him for thinking that might be enough!

LadyintheRadiator Fri 26-Dec-14 09:27:57

Perhaps you might have said 'surprise me' instead then?

ApocalypseThen Fri 26-Dec-14 09:28:34

It depends. I also got exactly what I asked for this Christmas which many wouldn't consider much thought or effort, but my husband is extremely thoughtful in multiple ways throughout the year so I'm not depending on Christmas presents to show that spark of care, if that makes sense? I think sometimes people who don't always feel cared for and appreciated in their relationships can put a lot of hope in presents to restore an equilibrium.

Notsuretoday Fri 26-Dec-14 09:31:53

It's always three things so that each child has one thing to give to me.

Total cost was about £80

I would have been happy with a £10 scarf or necklace from the supermarket, or a paperback or a new phone case. Just something small to show he made a little bit of effort.

I chose, bought and wrapped all the kids' presents, plus most of his relatives', and mine. I wrote all the cards, did the decorations, cleaned the house and bought the food.

So I am just wondering where is his contribution?

Plus he had a right go yesterday at dd which he shouldn't have done imo on christmas day, she didn't do amything bad.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 26-Dec-14 09:33:39

Oh dear , you received all that you wanted and you're still miffed fhmm

You're sounding ungrateful and being a bit of a princess having a strop.

Yes you are unreasonable, you have a lovely dh.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 26-Dec-14 09:35:31

* lovely as in got what you wanted, is he a dickhead the rest of the year?

why drip feed about him having a go at dd?

Notsuretoday Fri 26-Dec-14 09:36:11

I made him a photo book of our summer holiday, plus a photo calendar, and bought him three other things he likes

ThomasMaraJrsSubpoena Fri 26-Dec-14 09:38:54

I'm on the side of YANBU. Yes those are nice gifts, and they are what you asked for, but if "It's the thought that counts", well, there's not a lot of thought put into them, is there.

I'm similarly exasperated at DP never giving me something that shows he dug deep in thought or even memory. I keep waiting for something like that. It's been ten years. fsad

ilovesooty Fri 26-Dec-14 09:42:15

He asked for what you wanted and got it. If you wanted surprising as well you should have said so. I don't see why people of either gender should be expected to read minds and anticipate what their partners / spouses might want that they haven't articulated.

LadyintheRadiator Fri 26-Dec-14 09:45:32

So is this about your presents or your H in general?

clam Fri 26-Dec-14 09:48:01

Have you read the other thread about the woman who told her husband "anything but perfume," as she already had two unopened bottles of the stuff from previous birthdays/Christmasses, yet she he ignored her and bought her some more anyway?

Iforgottotellyou Fri 26-Dec-14 10:01:01

I told my dh exactly what I wanted and we even went shopping together to pick some of it, so I love my perfume, diary, cd etc. He also decided to 'surprise' me, but I really don't like what he bought - it's a trinket box that feels like it's made of thin glass, but it's silver with a weird mottled effect pattern on it that makes it look like it's gone horribly rusty!! So a complete waste of time and money as I was more than happy with the things I had asked for.
Plus I am a follower of the kondo threads and very tidy so I hate unnecessary clutter smile

Isetan Fri 26-Dec-14 10:16:43

It's this kind of bullshit thinking that's modelled for the kids, which we'll later complain about as them being ungrateful.

Isetan Fri 26-Dec-14 10:27:14

The idea of a parent buying presents on behalf of their children, to give to the other parent is just bizarre.

DD made me a card, a present and coloured her own wrapping paper, now that's thoughtful.

Notsuretoday Fri 26-Dec-14 10:32:42

Thanks Isetan feel suitably chastisec now hmm

DandyHighwayman Fri 26-Dec-14 10:40:27

Why are you doing "his" gifts for his family? Don't be a Mummy Martyr, no need. Make it plain next year that he takes responsibility for his family. Even up the load.

Notsuretoday Fri 26-Dec-14 10:59:39

You know when you look forward to seeing someone open a well-chosen present? It makes me sad that he's not bothered about experiencing that.

Notsuretoday Fri 26-Dec-14 11:31:31

I said to him about it last night. Today I've been cheerful and "normal", but he's sulking...

RaisingMen Fri 26-Dec-14 11:49:20

That's all very lovely Isetan but how old is your DD? You can't expect a toddler to do that can you.

Isetan Fri 26-Dec-14 12:16:08

DD is seven and when she was a toddler her interest was peaked by the wrapping and boxes, rather than content. Disappointment isn't a abnormal reaction when expectations have been set higher than the likely outcome.

DD begged for a Nintendo DS when she was five (all her friends had one apparently), I made it repeatedly clear that It wasn't happening because in my opinion it was an unsuitable gift but she was nothing but persistent.

I get wanting the fairytale reactions but maybe parents also need a reaction expectation adjustment.

am on a low income but even if I wasn't, DD wo

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