So I know this is probably a bit precious and ungrateful but I feel really concerned about the way my in laws are going to treat my daughter as she grows up (currently 10ms). I will bullet point for time saving.
1, There main topic of conversation is to make comparisons between people. i often find these unkind although i am a bit sensitive. For example my dh suffered bad acne as a teenager, when we started going out they would often say 'oh DHs brother has such lovely skin, not like poor ....' they have been quite rude about my appearance too, im under no illusion that I'm a beauty Queen but they'll say 'oh so and so in the family is so beautiful she doesn't need make up, it's so unfair isn't it pea' or yesterday when I commented on how lovely someone's hair was 'well some people get lovely hair and skin when they are pregnant, others have greased hair and spots,' pointed look at me. They've started to do it with my baby daughter '....s baby is so dainty, not like peas' . 'Its funny how peas baby doesn't sleep through, all put babies slept from 10 weeks' I guess it's the appearance ones that I worry about most, I don't want her to be continually told she measures up short compared to other children as she grows up, I don't think it breeds good feeling and I don't want her to think that looks matter. Dh and his siblings aren't very close and I think that's partly to do with always being compared. If it was the occasional comment I think it's normal but they make so many of them.
- They like to buy lots of presents, I know this sounds very ungrateful, but i just find it a bit hard to cope with. They've spent at least £300 pounds on my daughter this Christmas and I find it really overwhelming. They can't really afford it. They also feel that if they buy one gd anything the other has to have something. My daughter wouldn't have any idea, and I'm not counting who gets the most presents. I always say to them I know how much you love her and that you love them the same, we really don't mind if .... Has something and dd doesn't. The most precious thing she enjoys is the time you spend together...etc also we can't afford to recoprocate, we spent about £25 on each of them and that was a stretch, it makes me feel a bit guilty. I don't want my daughter to always instantly have everything she would like, I think delayed gratification is really important in being well rounded. I don't know how to tackle this with them as she grows.
3, they are a bit unkind. I'm on mat leave and just starting to leave my daughter for a couple of hours once a week for us both to get used to it. I find it quite hard to leave her but I know it's important for her to start learning she'a separate from me and not to get attachment problems. She's been a little poorly so wanting lots if mum time when I'm around. we were at a family dinner and I heard mil loudly tell everyone on the table behind us 'well when pea is there dd just cries for her and isn't happy, when oh brought her round the other day without pea she was really happy, she's so much happier when her mums not around' my daughter is usually really smiley n chirpy with most people she isn't a little limpet unless she's feeling poorly honestly. I just feel really upset when they say things like that, and I don't want them to say things that upset my daughter when she's old enough to understand.
Sorry for the essay, is this just normal gps and I'm overreacting? Either way there's nothing I can actually do is there?