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I cancelled on my friend and she won't talk to me now

(122 Posts)
tobytoes Thu 25-Dec-14 21:36:47

Basically I had arranged to meet my friend this evening so our children, both 2, could swap presents. It was only going to be for an hour before they go to bed so I thought, no big deal if I cancelled. I'm at my parents house for Christmas day and we are all having such a great time we've deceided to stay the night. So I text her, no reply, again and again no reply, I know she's been using her phone so she is ignoring me. Is this such a big deal? I can't imagine being upset if I were in her shoes but hey maybe I am being unreasonable. What do you think?

InteriorsMum Thu 25-Dec-14 21:38:49

I think you are being extremely rude. You have made an arrangement and the cancelled at the last minute because something better happened essentially, put yourself in her shoes...

Littlefish Thu 25-Dec-14 21:39:49

It depends what else she was doing today. You made an arrangement, and now you've cancelled it. Maybe meeting up with you was going to be an important part of her day. I think you've been unreasonable if I'm honest.

APlaceInTheWinter Thu 25-Dec-14 21:40:12

If I was cancelling on someone then I would have called at the least. I don't think a text is appropriate really.

tbh I also don't think you should have cancelled. You'd made an arrangement and it's just rude to change your mind because you feel you're having more fun somewhere else. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Sianilaa Thu 25-Dec-14 21:40:19

Maybe your friend wasn't having such a great day and was really looking forward to seeing you both. And you ditched her at the last minute for a better offer.

I'm afraid YABU.

Sn00p4d Thu 25-Dec-14 21:40:24

I'd be absolutely raging.

tobytoes Thu 25-Dec-14 21:40:33

I have put myself in her shoes and I honestly wouldn't be upset interiors it was only for an hour while the kids swapped gifts you see and I told her in the morning when we were meeting in the evening

TrojanWhore Thu 25-Dec-14 21:41:02


If so, no you you not have to talk to someone who has let down both you and your 2yo because she got a better 11th hour offer.

Levantine Thu 25-Dec-14 21:41:11

You were rude.

treaclesoda Thu 25-Dec-14 21:41:15

I don't blame her for being annoyed. Maybe she was looking forward to it? You're basically saying 'I'm having more fun where I am, I can't be bothered with you now that something better is on offer'.

On the other hand, how annoyed I'd be in her shoes would depend on how often you treat her like this. A one off and I'd be annoyed but get over it, a regular occurrence and I'd conclude that you really didn't care about me much at all.

Mrsgrumble Thu 25-Dec-14 21:41:37

Ha she been on her own all day? Maybe this is all she had to look forward to

InfinitySeven Thu 25-Dec-14 21:41:42

Have you considered that she may have looked forward to seeing you?

And that she may have told her child that you were seeing each other?

Or just that being cancelled at the last minute, by text, hurts?

tobytoes Thu 25-Dec-14 21:42:29

Hummmmmm okay sounds like I am being unreasonable then, crap. It was only for an hour I am struggling to imagine her upset but obviously she is. She has her family today aswell, so I know she's not alone.

Littlefish Thu 25-Dec-14 21:43:29

But you're not putting yourself in her shoes, are you.

You've made a decision based on your circumstances, not hers.

Just because you wouldn't be upset, doesn't mean that she doesn't have a right to be.

I have a friend who regularly cancels arrangements we've made, at the last minute. I have recently made a decision not to meet up with her anything like as often as I find her behaviour rude, hurtful and disrespectful.

tobytoes Thu 25-Dec-14 21:44:12

I also took her family out last night so it's not like we haven't seen each other for ages. I drove 30 miles to get them all and take them out to the theatre.

Babyroobs Thu 25-Dec-14 21:44:20

Sorry but yes I'd be really annoyed and even though the children are young, perhaps she has now had to explain to her child that you are not coming and the child may be upset too.

tobytoes Thu 25-Dec-14 21:44:51

We see each other all the time

HerrenaHarridan Thu 25-Dec-14 21:45:37

After the day I've had if my friend cancelled on me last min is be devastated but u may be a little emotional drunk

tobytoes Thu 25-Dec-14 21:45:47

Her daughter would definitely not understand yet

PurpleSwift Thu 25-Dec-14 21:47:13

Yabu. And jumping to conclusions. For all you know she is too preoccupied to respond.

CinnabarRed Thu 25-Dec-14 21:47:44

Sorry, another YABU here. And you seem determined not to accept that you have indeed been rude.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 25-Dec-14 21:47:44

You were rude. But not friendship endingly so.

Leave it now, she'll be fine.

spinduchess Thu 25-Dec-14 21:47:44

You've not only let your friend down, you've let down her DC and that is awful.


MadeInChorley Thu 25-Dec-14 21:48:23

You sound very smug. "Oh goodness we're having such a marvellous time here that we've decided we'd rather be with these people. You can bugger off. No big deal though, eh? Merry Christmas"

tanukiton Thu 25-Dec-14 21:48:38

I purposely dont tell my daughter if we are meeting one friend. You can guess why, I got fed up with explaining to a disappointed face.

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