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To think that if you have a young toddler you don't just stop parenting them because you're at someone else's house?

(20 Posts)
ShreddieBoo Thu 25-Dec-14 19:40:44

Hosted Christmas dinner today for family members.

SIL and her DH have an 18 month old DS. As soon as they'd got in the door today they left the poor child standing in the hallway in his coat and shoes, removed their own coats and shoes and went and sat in the living room.

At lunchtime they put him in his highchair, and again just sorted themselves out with food and left him sitting there, presumably just expecting that someone else would sort his lunch out, which we did.

And they just didn't keep an eye on him at all; our house isn't babyproofed as our youngest child is 4. Their DS was up and down the stairs, in and out of kitchen cupboards whilst I was cooking, climbing up on things and just not being watched by them at all. Even when he did things such as bash on our tv or throw the dog's biscuits everywhere, they said and did absolutely nothing.

DH and I ended up spending most of the day looking after our nephew whilst doing everything else too.

AIBU to think that just because you're visiting someone you can't just assume that they'll watch your child for you?

Marshy Thu 25-Dec-14 19:42:35

YANBU but did you say anything to the parents?

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Thu 25-Dec-14 19:53:19

You shouldn't have to say anything to the parents. What utter twats! I would be watching my dcs like a hawk at someone else's house.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Thu 25-Dec-14 20:06:06

They ignored their own child and left him standing in his coat in the hallway then sat themselves down?

How odd.

ShreddieBoo Thu 25-Dec-14 20:07:11

Lets just say they have form for being very selfish and for putting themselves first...

reallystuckonthisone Thu 25-Dec-14 20:10:32

Blimey. We are at DSis's today with DD 22mths. It has been hard work, running after her and we're pretty free and easy and DSis couldn't care less about her house being trashed I could never just turn up and tune out. What odd people.

Shenanagins Thu 25-Dec-14 20:17:23

Oh fuck yasoooonbu, i say quite wearily. However, being a bit of a shit parent myself helps and after a while they finally did do something when they realised that their little darling was on the verge of killing themselves!

disclaimer , we would have stepped in as the death/injury would really have spoiled the ambience of the day.

Mouthfulofquiz Thu 25-Dec-14 20:26:48

A member of my family does that with my two nephews. Lets them run wild. I hate it and always cut visits short because of it!

Purplehonesty Thu 25-Dec-14 20:38:26

Their poor child. I have to admit when we go to mils we tend to relax a bit and she runs after them but only because she barks 'sit down eat your food' if we dare to do otherwise. She loves it!
I don't relax at my mums there is far too much 'don't touch that'!

wheresthelight Thu 25-Dec-14 20:48:17

YADNBU!!! If anything i turn into the worst helicopter parent ever when I take dd to other people's houses! She is 16 months and into/on everything in sight. She is my child and therefore my responsibility!

I would be telling them that you are not a creche and if they choose not to keep an eye on their child then they are not welcome in your home!

kbbeanie Thu 25-Dec-14 20:51:41

Yanbu ! When we are out mils or my mums we sit back but they tell us to and they enjoy running around after any other persons house even the most child friendly houses and family with young children im always running after him saying 'behave' 'dont touch that' 'sit down' and constantly making sure hes not making a mess....its stressful at times but its my job as a parent to do it. I wouldnt expect anyone else to do it !
I think i would have had to say to them though maybe saying that i didnt want them getting hurt in the kitchen or something so politely 'keep them under control and out of my feet'

Mammanat222 Thu 25-Dec-14 20:55:08

Went to a party recently and there was a mum there that left her 18m old daughter to me. I was watching my 2 year old so I assume she thought one extra to keep an eye on was ok? I'm 8 months pregnant.

Said mum didn't bat an eyelid when I returned her child and mentioned that I'd found her up the stairs. The whole time I was at this party the other mum drank wine and left me to look after her child. Cheeky bitch.

I appreciate any help with DS but I don't expect it and I certainly never leave the childcare to anyone else... except OH.

MehsMum Thu 25-Dec-14 21:04:25

YANBU. I had the same sort of thing happen, on more than one occasion. Same parent every time... Unfond memories of rescuing our possessions and our children while she had a nap on the sofa, sat around eating lunch etc.

Babiecakes11 Fri 26-Dec-14 07:46:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Waggamamma Fri 26-Dec-14 08:00:45

Yanbu, I had the same issue at the inlaws yesterday. We were at mil house so I didn't feel it my place to say anything as bil/sil let there 14month old cause absolute havoc, allowed to roam with his siblings completely unsupervised. At least 5 household items broken, crisps trod into floor and drinks spilt. I was so stessful for everyone but their parents.

Dp was really frustrated with them as their three kids got to run round while our ds had to sit at the table and eat some dinner. We don't make him clear his plate, just at least try everything. We ended up leaving early.

Littlef00t Fri 26-Dec-14 08:12:48

I'd have been making a few pa comments for sure. Oh bil, you seem to have forgotten you've brought your child. Oh SIL, does little x not want anything to eat today?

GlitzAndGigglesx Fri 26-Dec-14 08:20:35

It was the same at mine yesterday except after me having to tell my nephew about 5 times to stop doing something my sister stormed out calling me a bully. I'm all for kids having fun but if a child is misbehaving they need to be told

MicronesiaIsMyHome Fri 26-Dec-14 08:25:46

I do think it depends a little on who we are visiting. The grandparents are very keen to be involved with the dc s when we visit as we rarely see them. However other places I am always on parent duty.
I have a friend who totally absconds from parenting duty when she visits my house. It has got to the point now where they are rarely invited because of this although I think she took the hint when I started putting her dc on my naughty step though!

TheWordFactory Fri 26-Dec-14 08:31:52

It depends OP.

I have a large extended family and during get togethers we all sort the little ones. A joint enterprisegrin.

We've had two little ones staying with us since Xmas eve and my teenagers have spent a lot of time playing with them/looking after them. They enjoy it ( wouldn't dream of doing it if they didn't).

The Mum has had a lovely few days, I hope.

Bonsoir Fri 26-Dec-14 12:11:00

I have extensive experience of my male cousins coming to see me sans the mother of their DC and basically dropping all parental responsibilities the moment they cross the threshold. I stopped inviting them a while ago wink

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