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To feel so sad about our non-family Christmas?

(63 Posts)
MrsTawdry Thu 25-Dec-14 19:04:55

By non-family I mean non extended family.

It was lovely...DH, me and the two DCs and we did have a nice day but I feel sad that our family doesn't do any big family Christmases.

My sister has a big house but she has 4 DC...two are adults as well. She invites my Mum and my brother both of whom are alone to spend the day there...my Mum always goes on about the wonderful food, decor etc and I feel that if I asked her and my bro here, they'd not like it as much....we're not nearly so well off and things are quieter here as there's only the two children.

My sister's house is loud, busy, there's loads of everything...mum and brother LOVE their Christmas there.

I feel sad that I couldn't do as good a day and also that there's never an invitation for us...just teatime or something.

On FB they've all put the photos on of them roaring with laughter..having a ball. We've had such a quiet day I'm jealous. blush

Thesimplethings Thu 25-Dec-14 19:06:31

Why don't you go to your sisters too?

RaisingMen Thu 25-Dec-14 19:07:46

Why don't you ask if you can all have Christmas together next year? Maybe she assumes you'd rather be alone with DH and DC's at Christmas and genuinely hasn't thought to invite you.

MrsTawdry Thu 25-Dec-14 19:09:53

simple we've never been asked!

Men no...she knows I'd like it...she was quite defensive when I jokingly suggested it.

WaywardOn3 Thu 25-Dec-14 19:14:27

We've just done a big family Christmas. Relatives from abroad arrived with a stomach bug and other relatives arrived with the flu. By the time today arrived everyone had a mix of stomach bugs and flu...

Worst Christmas on record here :-(

Branleuse Thu 25-Dec-14 19:17:28

make jokey half commemts about how youre definitely looking for an invite next year.

MrsTawdry Thu 25-Dec-14 19:24:27

Bran she'd not be amused. She didn't take my jokey request well this year. I just feel left out.

ssd Thu 25-Dec-14 19:25:59

I dont have any extended family, its lonely

ssd Thu 25-Dec-14 19:27:33

op, thats awful they leave you out, how horrible sad

LadyLuck10 Thu 25-Dec-14 19:29:02

Why would she leave you out for no reason?

oneowlgirl Thu 25-Dec-14 19:30:32

Op that's horrible! We have just us & my DM & whilst id love a big extended family Christmas, that's the extent is our family & it feels great. Totally different to your DS leaving you out. Horrible & totally against the spirit of the season.

Branleuse Thu 25-Dec-14 19:30:39

well then shes not that nice is she. she might have a nice house but thats as far as it goes. Just enjoy your own xmas and invite your mum to yours next year

Thesimplethings Thu 25-Dec-14 19:32:31

I'm in the same boat. Since having dc we are never invited to anything. Christmas, nights out etc. It's shit!

Perhaps be blunt and tell them straight how it's making you feel?

ClaraM Thu 25-Dec-14 19:32:48

I feel exactly the same way Mrs Tawdry. My brother invited my parents to his, we stayed at home on our own. This year was a bit worse as DH was in hospital until late afternoon, so we probably couldn't have gone anyway. I would like to be invited some time. Also a phone call from them all enjoying themselves would be nice!!

mumeeee Thu 25-Dec-14 19:33:34

We always have Christmas day with our own family. We have a big family Christmas celebration with extended family a couple of days after Christmas. I love doing it this way even though our girls are in their 20's. My siblings do the same with their families. However if you want to spend time with your Mum and sister why don't you ask if you can join them next year or host Christmas yourself I'm sure it won't matter if it's different then your sisters.

LePetitPrince Thu 25-Dec-14 19:33:40

Are any of the gang at your sister's house non-drinkers? If so, ask them around to yours for tea or for Boxing day. Do it your way and make no apologies for not having "everything". If you throw open that door with a huge smile and glasses of cocktail, your house will become part of Christmas. It's also nice for your mum and brother

Fairylea Thu 25-Dec-14 19:36:55

It's awful they leave you out. I'd have to say something!

MrsTawdry Thu 25-Dec-14 19:43:01

I just can't think what to say to be honest. My Mum has invited us to hers tomorrow...so that IS nice as we will see my uncle too. But this whole thing is just making me sad. My sister knows how I feel because in the summer she said something like "I might have everyone over this year" and then closer to the Autumn I mentioned it...and asked her "Are you still thinking of having everyone?" and she said "No!" really shortly...so I don't think I could say anything.

If I told my Mum I felt sad about it, then she'd be sad...and might not enjoy herself as much.

diddl Thu 25-Dec-14 19:44:55

Do you ever invite anyone to you?

I imagine that she invites your mum & brother as they would be alone otherwise.

with your family as well that would be 6 more which she might find too much?

Rebecca2014 Thu 25-Dec-14 19:46:19

Just say something. You are making out to everyone that you are okay with being left out.

MrsTawdry Thu 25-Dec-14 19:48:14

diddl we live in a two bed flat with a kitchen the size of a cupboard. I can't cater for us plus all those extras...it would be 8 adults and 4 smaller dc. No dining table here either.

rebecca I don't think I am making that out...I mentioned it and was shot down.

Saki5000 Thu 25-Dec-14 19:48:46

I think that you should invite your Mum and brother to your house next Christmas. It's not fair that you are left out every year. Your food and house may not be as nice as your sister's but that shouldn't matter.

MrsTawdry Thu 25-Dec-14 19:51:28

Saki I know it shouldn't matter but I can't help but think they'd feel they'd drawn the short straw a bit...and that our day wouldn't be as lavish.

diddl Thu 25-Dec-14 19:55:24

"I can't cater for us plus all those extras...it would be 8 adults and 4 smaller dc."

But you are sure that your sister could?

Perhaps she wishes that one year you could have your mum & brother so that she could have just her husband & kids?

She's your sister, talk to her properly about it with suggestions of what you would supply & do to help out.

MrsTawdry Thu 25-Dec-14 19:59:59

Diddl she has a massive 4 bed house...I have a 2 bed flat with no dining room and a kitchen too small for a table!

Where would everyone sit? the sitting room is the size of a small bedroom. We have a 2 seater sofa, one armchair and a coffee table in it.

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