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To think it is rude to treat a breastfeeding mother like a child (in regards to alcohol)?

(39 Posts)
Stripylikeatiger Thu 25-Dec-14 18:48:45

We went to my sil's house today for Christmas lunch. We have a baby who is breastfed, I have looked into the risk of alcohol consumption whilst breastfeeding and I feel ok about having the occasional drink as only a minute amount of alcohol goes into the milk.

I have talked about alcohol and breastfeeding with my sils (there are 4 of them) before, they were all very anti breastfeeding mothers drinking, mil even joined in the conversation saying it was disgusting for bf mums to drink and she'd be ashamed if her grandchild's mother drank and breastfed.

At dinner I accidentally sat in dp's place which had a wine glass and they swooped in and changed the glasses over and then asked me which non alcoholic drink I'd like. I felt like a naughty teenager who had been caught trying to have a sneaky drink!

I'm at home enjoying a lovely cold wine (the first in a year, I had to dust the wine glass!) but aibu to think that as a host it's rude to decide which adults can and can't drink?

claraagain Thu 25-Dec-14 18:51:38

Yes. If you are not drunk then the baby wont be. I would have said- dont worry the bottle of vodka that I drank each day whilst pregnant will have acclimatised him/her well (only joking)

Littlefish Thu 25-Dec-14 18:52:30

Yes, they were rude. However, their actions were obviously well intentioned, albeit, in your opinion, mis-informed.

TheXxed Thu 25-Dec-14 18:54:08

I dunno, I am very sensitive to alcohol consumption during pregnancy and breastfeeding after finding out about Foetal Alcohol Syndrome when I was in South Africa.

Seeing the effects in real life upset so much that I didn't drink at all during my pregnancy and whilst bfing. Obviously that is an extreme example. But I am guessing your family were just worried

Soleurmange Thu 25-Dec-14 18:57:56

Fucking patronizing in my view. Yanbu.

Dazedconfused Thu 25-Dec-14 18:58:46

yanbu at all I am a bfing mother and I have had a glass of champagne on arrival at my mums, a glass of red with my meal and may have a baileys once I put the wee one down. like you I did lots of reading about this and have nursed those 2 drinks (no downing shots for me) throughout the day and would bet with all the food I have eaten very little will have gotten through.
my step gran made some eyes about it but I have just ignored her.
your sils are very rude and should offer you a choice it is up to you

fourwoodenchairs Thu 25-Dec-14 18:59:11

I would never dare comment on someone else's alcohol consumption, whatever they were pregnant/breastfeeding/formula feeding.

I've breastfed two children for well over a year each and drank quite often and they both still have one head each.

PrincessOfChina Thu 25-Dec-14 19:00:26

Very patronising. I've had a nice big glass of champagne today and I'm pregnant. PIL pointedly stuck to soft drinks and watched every sip.

MIL was like "Ooohhh, I bet you haven't had a drink for months" and was visibly covering shock when I said I had one last week.

JuanDirection Thu 25-Dec-14 19:05:49

Yanbu, that's really rude and unnecessary.

SuperMumTum Thu 25-Dec-14 19:06:49

Fucking patronising I agree. I used to work in a restaurant where one of the waitresses used to lecture pregnant women about boozy deserts (like tiramisu) and I always had to tell her to lay off. Agree its treating you like a child.

LaurieMarlow Thu 25-Dec-14 19:06:55

Xxed, the physiology of drinking while breast feeding is utterly different to the physiology of drinking while pregnant. When breast feeding, alcohol doesn't pass directly into the milk. And foetal alcohol syndrome has nothing to do with bf (the clue's in the name hmm )

OP, you are right to be annoyed. It's very controlling of them. Light drinking is perfectly find when bf. After a glass of two the alcohol level in milk would be minuscule.

TheXxed Thu 25-Dec-14 19:08:12

Laurie thank you for telling me,

MummyPig24 Thu 25-Dec-14 19:16:43

Yanbu. It's your choice, not theirs. You have informed yourself and made a sensible decision. I am also bf and had a glass of prosecco earlier. Probably another later too.

RoseTheHat Thu 25-Dec-14 19:29:29

God, I drank as normal when breastfeeding (i.e. a few glasses of wine as and when). It's this kind of misinformed judgement that puts people off breastfeeding imo. A shame.

paddyclampo Thu 25-Dec-14 19:32:10

I drank as normal when I was breastfeeding too! YANBU

smellsofelderberries Thu 25-Dec-14 19:33:29

Yanbu, they are bang out of order. You are not a child and should not be treated as such. Glad you're having one now!wine

pinkyredrose Thu 25-Dec-14 19:37:14

Xxed feotal alcohol syndrome doesn't affect breastfeeding babies wink

Iggi999 Thu 25-Dec-14 19:42:16

Current thread in feeding on the physical side of bf and drinking - perhaps you could forward it to your lovely in-laws who might be less ignorant after reading it!

PekeandPollicle Thu 25-Dec-14 19:46:57


TheXxed Thu 25-Dec-14 19:56:04

I know Laurie just said

Stripylikeatiger Thu 25-Dec-14 20:03:59

I think they possibly believe the milk becomes very alcoholic, baffled as to why they don't believe me when I say i think it's safe!

mummyrunnerbean Thu 25-Dec-14 20:11:29

Milk alcohol level is exactly the same as your blood alcohol level, so unless your blood alcohol level is approaching the point where you'd die, it's going to make no impact on the baby whatsoever. A lactation consultant and a paediatrician have seperately told me that as long as you're sober enough to locate your baby and attach them to your breast (several goes allowed!) then you are fine to breastfeed fgrin. That said, I stopped drinking halfway down my second glass today as after not drinking much through pregnancy I was feeling on the verge of too tipsy to make lunch... blush

IShallCallYouSquishy Thu 25-Dec-14 20:18:02

I'm someone who has chosen not to drink while BFing. Though may have a glass of bubbly with DH in a bit now DC are in bed wink However if someone made that decision for me? Buggrr me I'd be pissed off!

raltheraffe Thu 25-Dec-14 20:19:47

Well my mum used to put brandy into my milk bottles to calm me down and no-one bothered.

Coyoacan Thu 25-Dec-14 20:24:19

* It's this kind of misinformed judgement that puts people off breastfeeding imo. A shame*


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