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To create a safe space for a silent Christmas scream?

(101 Posts)
rainyevening Thu 25-Dec-14 17:22:37

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggfh, my mother is driving me mad with her crazy passive aggression. Yes, we all think you're fantastic, no, I haven't yet put a picture of the present you got me on Facebook, now will you sit the fuck down and stop doing unnecessary housework to make us all feel bad?

Anyone else need to get anything off their chest?

(And happy Christmas)

PortofinoVino Thu 25-Dec-14 17:30:12

My smile faded at the third box of Guylian chocolates, was non existant by the fourth box, and nearly turned into tears at the fifth box.

This was from my brother, son and DIL.

I only had 3 things on my Christmas List only (one from each of them I thought). I'm still waiting for the perfume and the outdoor fairy lights.

I'm supposed to be joining Slimming World in January shock

rainyevening Thu 25-Dec-14 17:33:24

Bugger that. shock Go out and buy yourself your perfume and outdoor fairy lights in the sales. X

Caravanoflove Thu 25-Dec-14 17:33:44

I did not get a single gift today despite spending both time and lots of money buying for many many people.
I feel very sad but can't really moan about it in real life as people did buy for my kids (except my husband who ran out of time).
In fact I'm crying in the bath now that I clearly mean so little to so many people. I'm not bothering next year.

viruswithhold Thu 25-Dec-14 17:36:18

Sorry to hear that you didn't get one present caravan. Can you afford to go out an get yourself something nice after Christmas?

Caravanoflove Thu 25-Dec-14 17:42:47

Yes I can afford it, and I will buy myself everything that I would have liked. But honestly it's not about the stuff, it's the fact that no one could be arsed to even wrap up a friggin box of maltesers for me and that my husband was happy to let me have xmas day with not a single thing to open. It was very embarassing when everyone else opened their gifts.
My sister in law saw me silently crying and has texted to say they will make it up to me next year.
I can see why it happened, everyone buys for the kids not us which is fine. However, I buy for all the adults as their kids are either grown up or they are childless, I don't think it's fair for them to spend on my kids and receive nothing back. My mum is dead, my dad hasn't even phoned today to speak to my kids(no idea why but I will call him soon to say happy Xmas).
So realistically I knew the only person who would get me a gift was DH, and he has been working hard, leaves everything until xmas eve then got stuck on a job until after the shops shut.

AWholeLottaNosy Thu 25-Dec-14 17:44:39

Oh sorry to hear that OP. Christmas can be shit sometimes. Xxx

GothMummy Thu 25-Dec-14 17:55:44

Oh OP....thats annoying. Im ill in bed and can hear my MIL reorganising my DCs rooms, Im feeling too ill to get up and object though.

Caravan -thats so sad. I get presents from my DH but no one else as they buy for the kids. I used to buy all the adults presents anyway so that the kids had something to give in return but last year I got the kids to make their gifts, like candles etc

KiaOraOAotearoa Thu 25-Dec-14 18:08:40

Right. My MIL has really bad flu. She is clearly not well. I thought, you know, it's Christmas, what is she supposed to do, hope she makes it through the meal and then goes to bed.
NOPE. She is still on the sofa, 9 hours later, coughing and spluttering and sneezing. We're all going to get it, aren't we?

FryOneFatManic Thu 25-Dec-14 18:16:56

Caravanoflove I assume you have the internet at home? So actually your DH has no excuse. thanks for you.

Woozlebear Thu 25-Dec-14 18:17:30

My dad's worsening memory problems meant he has jumbled up everyone's presents, bought some strange things, and written what they were on the labels rather than who they for or from.

I've dealt with my agoraphobic, depressed and abusive narcissistic mother for 30 years. I don't know how to deal with this as well.

And my phone is about to die confusedhmm

LuisSuarezTeeth Thu 25-Dec-14 18:18:52

What is WITH all the mils doing housework on Christmas Day? Are you all unbearable slatterns? grin

LuisSuarezTeeth Thu 25-Dec-14 18:20:22

You poor things sad


mummybare Thu 25-Dec-14 18:24:47

FiL is drunk and being loud and obnoxious downstairs. I'm currently settling DS upstairs but I'm going to have to go down there soon and deal with the atmosphere but I'm TIRED and it's CHRISTMAS and I DON'T WANT TO.

mummybare Thu 25-Dec-14 18:25:41

(And thanks for this thread by the way - needed to get that off my chest.)

reddaisy Thu 25-Dec-14 18:27:46

We have driven four hours with the DC today to see family who despite knowing when were going to arrive chose that time to be out on their family walk so we had to sit and wait half an hour for them to return so that was irritating. And it is 6.30 and we haven't eaten a thing here yet! shock They also never visit us, ever, so it just makes me wonder why we make all the effort

rainyevening Thu 25-Dec-14 19:13:20

Woozlebear, I'm sorry to hear it, that sounds tough.

Rather spectacularly, my mothers just walked out. In a huff. Car's gone. We're supposed to be eating in a minute.

whothehellknows Thu 25-Dec-14 19:28:51

Why, and where did she go?

Fairylea Thu 25-Dec-14 19:32:08

My 2.5 year old screamed through the whole dinner, didn't eat or want any of it, we let him sit and watch rhyme rocket on loop and gave him a tuna sandwich (which is all he wanted) and then after a brief pause he screamed the house down again because there were no new rhyme rocket episodes. confused

Both dh and I got indigestion from the stress and my dinner went cold and I threw it in the bin.

Happy days. Thank fuck it's nearly over. Think ds was just over tired and excited.

whothehellknows Thu 25-Dec-14 19:34:34

I so hope mine goes to bed soon. Not that she isn't entertaining, but I really want to sleep.

Sazzle41 Thu 25-Dec-14 19:38:14

Caravan, a lot of the sales started today on the internet. Methinks hubby should be doing make up internet prezzie buying all tonite and all tomorrow. A MIL with a cleaning fetish even on Xmas Day - sheesh to all you who mentioned it. I'd say the upstairs really needs doing if you are bored then shove her off up there with a hoover for an hour while i have a wee drinkie downstairs!

LizardBreath Thu 25-Dec-14 19:39:16

My mum has explained to me how to switch the Oven on, what the little date printed on food means and how to 'cook' part baked bread. I'm not sure what she thinks she has raised-I'm thirty friggin two!

OhMyActualDays Thu 25-Dec-14 19:47:37

Lizardbreath... I just told my MIL that I'm thirty-friggin-two when she tried to give me yet another direction. I have, however, discovered that she hates washing up. Some lovely quiet cleaning time happened to me today!

RedTinsel Thu 25-Dec-14 19:48:05

DS doesn't like his present. We couldn't afford what he wanted so got a cheaper version. He cried.

I sobbed because a. My boy was upset on Xmas day and b. I'm such a shit mum to have raised such an ungrateful brat.

He did thank me later and say he liked it.

Oh and if there's any spare MILs who love to clean going, send them my way. My house is a tip.

HerrenaHarridan Thu 25-Dec-14 19:57:48

Started well

Dd loved her dolls house abs played with it lots.

Opened my present from my best friend to find that in fact there wasn't one and that the irreplaceable ceramic item (of mine) she had posted with dds present had smashed to pieces as it had no padding at all. Unlike dds which was wrapped in tissue paper and arrived unharmed.

Called my mum to arrange when I was picking her up to find she wanted to come several hours later than I was expecting.

Mum cane for a while and left an hour before I was due to serve up. You know the point where you're in and out the oven and I could have really done with soneone to keep dd out if the kitchen.
I told her dinner would be ready at 5. It was. She turned up at 5.25. By which time I had held it as long as I could without spoiling so I served mine and dds.

Dd took one look at it and asked for something else. Started crying when I said no.

So I ate christmas dinner alone to the sound of dd crying.

I don't know what it is I'm doing so wrong in my life. I'm loving, generous with my time affection and money. I try to always be there for friends when they need me but here I am at christmas clearing up, dealing with the over tired dd and feeling achingly lonely

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