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To think I REALLY should have been told/asked

(120 Posts)
haphazardbystarlight Thu 25-Dec-14 13:33:14

DH has bought a dog.

It's gorgeous but I know it's ALL going to land on me.

I'm not being U, am I?

makeminea6x Thu 25-Dec-14 13:34:33

Not in the slightest. I think that's a family decision.

hopelessadventure Thu 25-Dec-14 13:35:16

Definitely not BU. A dog is a huge commitment and should have been discussed. Wowsers!!

Coyoacan Thu 25-Dec-14 13:35:45

That was one of the last things my father did before my parents' separated.

fuctifino Thu 25-Dec-14 13:35:49

No, you're not being u.

It would be my ideal present but I would like to have a say/choice in breed/litter etc.

What breed is it?

fatowl Thu 25-Dec-14 13:36:30

He's bought it as a gift?
That's unreasonable in itself.

I hope it works out

I'd love a dog, and so would DDS but we can't look after it properly, so no dog

haphazardbystarlight Thu 25-Dec-14 13:37:07

Spaniel crossed with ... something.

He is absolutely lovely but I am so annoyed DH didn't say anything at all.

DS is overjoyed hmm

BrightestAndBest Thu 25-Dec-14 13:37:16

Put your foot down now and make it clear that you expect him to step up and do the majority of the work as far as the dog is concerned.

haphazardbystarlight Thu 25-Dec-14 13:38:11

Brightest I wont get a choice in the matter. Not unless it involves cruelty ie not walking him which I certainly won't be doing <sigh>

Chandon Thu 25-Dec-14 13:40:45

Aha

So H gets to be the fun guy

Whilst you pick up the shit (literally

I love dogs but this set up shows lack of respect

ilovesooty Thu 25-Dec-14 13:46:36

Family decision. I'd be furious.

alteredimages Thu 25-Dec-14 13:46:59

I think this is completely completely unacceptable.

I thought giving animals as gifts was a thing of the past after all the publicity campaigns in the 90s.

I honestly would tell DH that the dog is going back. Your DS will be upset for a few days but will get over it. Then, once you have all agreed as a family how responsibilities will be divided, who will look after dog during holidays etc, you can go about looking for the right dog for you. This is much kinder to everyone, especially to the dog, than taking on a dog you are not equipped or able to devote time and energy to.

I think any reponsible breeder or pet owner would gladly take back a puppy if they found out it had been a christmas present. Let's just hope your DH got the dog from someone prepared to do the right thing.

haphazardbystarlight Thu 25-Dec-14 13:50:01

I could not send the poor creature back now. He's gorgeous and DS is enchanted.

But we have an 8 month old baby who to be honest is enough work on her own. This is why I'm cross as he's put me in a position of not being able to say no - ok I could but now I've seen the dog I don't want to if that makes sense.

I'm just upset as it complicates matters a million times gorgeous as the dog is.

oswellkettleblack Thu 25-Dec-14 13:50:03

HE picks up the shit OR it gets rehomed. From the get go. I would be fizzin'. Fucking wanker.

oswellkettleblack Thu 25-Dec-14 13:50:52

'I could not send the poor creature back now. He's gorgeous and DS is enchanted.'

Yeah, you can. This is his fault.

Wow. That's bad.

I would LOVE a dog but I would go batshit at DH if he bought one without discussing breed / timing / responsibilities with me.

nuts2you Thu 25-Dec-14 13:52:50

WTF. An animal is NOT a gift. It's a major commitment of 10-plus years.

He is way out of line.

SirNoel Thu 25-Dec-14 13:52:57

Manipulative and totally out of order.

haphazardbystarlight Thu 25-Dec-14 13:54:10

Oswell yeah yeah but seriously this dog is lovely.

The only way I can explain it is - say you didn't want a baby but you got pregnant and had one of those weird pregnancies where you didn't know about it until you gave birth.

I'm like that with the dog now; I love it - but I didn't want it!!

tigermoll Thu 25-Dec-14 13:54:22

Dogs are a HUGE responsibility (I'm dogsitting over christmas for my folks and it's really put me off having one of my own, I can tell you).

Does your DH have experience of dogs and does he realise how much effort and routine is involved? Had he discussed it with you at all? BTW the dog I am currently watching was a christmas gift from my father to my mother, but my mother expressed a wish for a dog, they discussed it together first, chose the dog together and my DF paid for it as the gift - she was not just presented with a surprise puppy on Xmas morning.

Second the posters who say take it back - if you don't want it, don't accept it, since it will be far easier to return now than in six months or a year.

ilovesooty Thu 25-Dec-14 13:55:03

And as others have said, totally unfair on the dog. I can't imagine the irresponsibility of the seller either.

BrightestAndBest Thu 25-Dec-14 13:55:44

Best to 'upset' your DH now by making it clear that he has a starring role in taking care of the dog. Make a list of everything that needs doing, and then show him and tell him that he needs to do xyz if the dog stays (and that if he can't commit to this level of involvement, then tell him the dog will have to go). You weren't involved in the decision - it is only down to you if you want it to be.

BtW - YANBU. I'd be livid.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Thu 25-Dec-14 13:57:17

I get that you want to keep it, i'd be the same. However, has your DH said one word about who will be responsible? Is it a puppy? Is it house trained?

haphazardbystarlight Thu 25-Dec-14 14:01:37

Puppy <sigh>

Ofc!!

ExitPursuedByABear Thu 25-Dec-14 14:02:03

A dog is for life, not effing Christmas!

DH has just said his best Christmas present was me just telling him that I have already walked the dog fhmm

Spaniels are bonkers.

You can never, ever go out for the day again unless you take it with you.

Your DH is mad.

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