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I know I am ungrateful, but AIBU?

(10 Posts)
MidniteScribbler Thu 25-Dec-14 06:26:18

So Christmas has been and almost gone here. I only have a small family (one DC and an older relative that lives with me), plus some extended relatives that we are part of the big family present draw. So not a lot of presents under the tree for me, but I can live with that. But every year my older relative gives me the exact same thing. Which is something I like, but I would buy it myself anyway (an annual release of something I collect), and I usually do have to buy it myself and give it to her, and this year she didn't even bother to wrap it for me. I have tried dropping hints to her, even flat out told her that I'd like something different, but nope, for the last twenty years, it has been the same thing. The extended relatives we are part of the Christmas draw, and I've never had anything that remotely indicates that they know me at all in all the years we have been doing it. This years effort was a type of clothing I would never wear, in a fabric I am allergic to, in a size that I haven't been since I was in high school. I know I should be grateful for anything, and there are people out there with nothing, but AIBU to wish that someone would just put in some effort and show that they actually understand me? I'm not a hard person to buy for I don't think. Just once I'd like to unwrap a gift on Christmas Day and be really surprised. I spend hours buying gifts for others, just once I'd like someone to put in some effort for me. So I guess IABU, but needed a whinge. Time for wine I think.

Chottie Thu 25-Dec-14 06:40:26

No, you are not being unreasonable. I can't imagine getting the same present for the last 20 years either. Speak to your sis in good time before next Christmas.

Regarding the family Christmas draw, could you suggest (again in good time) that everyone includes a list of suggestions next year 'to make it easier for everyone'?

Wishing you and your DC and relative a happy Christmas fsmile

EatShitDerek Thu 25-Dec-14 06:54:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Violetta999 Thu 25-Dec-14 06:56:57

Suggest a wish list for the secret Santa in order to make Christmas easier

Accidentally buy something you like for your sister to give to you. Then point blank refuse to replace it as you are too skint

BathshebaDarkstone Thu 25-Dec-14 07:03:54

Oh dear, do adults ever get anything they like for Christmas? Better luck next year. flowers

Archduke Thu 25-Dec-14 07:06:23

Oh that's crap op. I'm in a bit of a grump too as my gift from dh was awful this year.

Chotties suggestion of a list is good. Otherwise I don't know what you do <helpful>. Is your older relative REALLY old like elderly old? Ie incapable of getting out to the shops or is s/he just lazy?

chasingtherainbow Thu 25-Dec-14 07:17:24

... yup, I'm so disappointed with my gift from dh this year. and every year

Tbh I thought he might just manage it this year. I'm gonna go and sniffle a bit in the shower over it then pull myself together, he's bloody awful at gifts but it's not the end of the world.

OP I would be upset too in your position. Yanbu

Euphemia Thu 25-Dec-14 07:28:13

I think expectations need to be lowered, if you know from experience that your family are crap at gifts.

I realised yesterday that I have zero expectation for my gifts for Christmas. I'm excited to see DD open her presents and that's it. I'll buy myself some nice things online.

This way, no disappointment.

MidniteScribbler Thu 25-Dec-14 21:00:42

* Is your older relative REALLY old like elderly old? Ie incapable of getting out to the shops or is s/he just lazy?*

She's in her eighties, but plays bowls twice a week, golfs every fortnight, goes shopping several times per week. She's moved in with me, and I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pay most of the bills etc, so she's not short of money either. She completely forgot my birthday as well, even though it was one week after hers, and I spent over $1000 paying and organising the special birthday lunch she wanted with a whole bunch of her friends. It guess it just hurts a bit that I do so much for her, but she can't even spend an hour at the shops (where she is at all the time anyway) to find something for me.

ImperialBlether Thu 25-Dec-14 21:13:52

Why have you allowed this to happen? She is clearly a physically able but selfish person. Why are you paying all the bills and doing all the work?

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