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to wonder why I dip out with presents off niece

(18 Posts)
lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 19:40:11

Okay I know you shouldn't really make a fuss about these things and I have tried to convince myself that it's just one of those things.
My niece has two aunties myself and my older sister but I can never understand the difference between what my sister receives on birthdays etc compared to me.
Every year I get a cheap bunch of flowers those small ones about £2.99 this year I got a packet of three picnic bars along with a candle that I recognised as having given to my other sister my nieces mom on her birthday obviously my sister had thrown it together for her as she hadn't bought me anything not even the flowers this time.
My other sister her other auntie gets a lovely big box of Chocolates and a generous gift voucher and always gets a nice present each year.
How would you feel about this please don't slate me but I feel a bit hurt by it all.

Mammanat222 Wed 24-Dec-14 19:42:31

How old is DN? Is it actually her who sorts the gift / pays for it?

Is your birthday close to xmas? Other sister's isn't?

cardibach Wed 24-Dec-14 19:42:59

Does your other sister have more to do with your niece in the year? Help her out with anything? Otherwise it seems a bit odd.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Wed 24-Dec-14 19:44:07

Does your niece always delegate to her mum? Does her mum get on better with your sister?

VitalStollenFix Wed 24-Dec-14 19:48:37

Is her relationship with you the same as hers/her mums with the other sister?
Can you think of anything thats different?

lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 19:52:17

My niece is 30 years old. I think maybe she is a bit closer to my sister however they don't by any means see a great deal of each other. My nieces mom my sister does see much more of myself we live close by and see each other nearly every day.
My sisters birthday is closer to Xmas than mine.
My niece has a well paid job and she buys the presents.

lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 19:55:34

I can't work it out to be honest except I know my niece can be selfish at times in general and that opinion is shared by other family including my sister her mom.

lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 19:58:29

My sister's are quite a bit older than me but don't see how that would make any difference.

PhaedraIsMyName Wed 24-Dec-14 20:08:31

I'm a bit nonplussed by the idea of an aunt expecting to get a birthday present from a niece or nephew.

I have one nephew, husband has 2 nieces and 2 nephews. Neither of us have ever received nor expected to get birthday presents from them. My nephew is still a child so he gets presents from me, the rest are now grown-up and husband no longer bothers.

lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 20:11:23

Yes I know this is something that alot of people wouldn't do but we tend to in our family.

lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 20:13:01

In all honesty I would forget the whole thing but would feel mean if I didn't buy as everyone else does.

Fanfeckintastic Wed 24-Dec-14 20:16:07

Ah I can totally see why that'd upset you, I chucked at the packet of picnic bars though! I'd kill for one now!

The only thing I could think of is how involved you are. I buy DPs two sisters nice presents from DD because they are wonderful with her, same goes for one of his brothers but the other brother not so much so I just buy for his child. Written down that probably looks bad but it's just the way the relationships are, we're a lot closer to the others and they don't have DCs so it doesn't ever look or feel like anyone's being left out if that makes sense.

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude Wed 24-Dec-14 20:16:23

I think at 30 its fair enough for her to be closer to some family members than others and choose to spend more on their gifts. I have aunties in the double figures and am closer to a few than the majority. That's fair enough surely? The fact that you have the same title doesnt mean she feels the same way about you both. Nor should she be obliged to.

lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 20:18:18

And my other sister waits for her gifts off nieces etc and my nieces mom will chase it up if my niece is a bit late giving the present.

lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 20:20:30

Well the picnic bars did taste divine

lakia Wed 24-Dec-14 20:24:06

The picnic bars tasted lovely fan.

fluffling Wed 24-Dec-14 20:31:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GraceFox Wed 24-Dec-14 20:40:01

If you compare it does sound hurtful tbh. But maybe its time to cut down on the large network of present exchanges you're involved in. I'd never expect a present from a niece/nephew and yes some of mine are the age of your dn. why not breezily announce that next yr you're going to give to charity/ buy a goat on their behalf and there's no need to reciprocate.

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