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to tell you how utterly weird and rubbish my Christmas is so far...

(190 Posts)
shovetheholly Wed 24-Dec-14 16:25:41

I haven't been well lately, got out of hospital last week. Still bleeding and in a bit of pain from an operation, and having to wear big old maternity pads.

In spite of this, PIL have been piling on the pressure about us visiting them this year. They live hundreds of miles away and it's a long journey in the car. They have been asking all the time when we will arrive to stay for a few days. We have found this quite stressful as the illness makes it hard to plan. I assumed that they simply weren't aware how hard the journey would be for me. I can't stand for very long or walk far, and even though you'd think a car journey is just sitting down, going over potholes or round corners hurts.

DH was very keen to get her as he believes PIL and especially MIL are having a tough time, due to a bereavement in January. I felt under pressure and probably shouldn't have said yes to the journey (my bad). However we decided to give it a go. Took over five hours and I was in agony by the end. I had to be helped out of the car and into the house.

When we arrived, MIL presented me with an early 'present' - a mattress protector for someone who is incontinent to stop me 'ruining' her old mattress! (I am not incontinent!! I am bleeding a bit but it is under control). I can't sleep because every time I turn on the bed it sounds like a giant plastic thunderstorm. Also an old T-shirt of hers, about 10 years old and five sizes too big to lounge around the house in (I have PJs of my own).

Today, the whole family have gone out leaving me in the house by myself. They are having pizza and beer in a fancy restaurant. There is no food for me here, just a couple of stale rolls that I bought at a service station yesterday. It is also freezing as they have turned the heating off as it's just me here. I am actually in bed to keep warm.

A friend of mine rang me and I burst into tears on her because I feel so lonely and unable to cope. I have been trying to read but because I feel so ill, I can't really follow the book and it is just making me feel more hopeless.

Tomorrow will probably be much the same - me, by myself in the house while everyone else goes to the pub in the morning and then for a walk.

I know I need to buck my ideas up - I am not a child, and Christmas is just another day. I just feel a bit teary and rubbish.

ilovesooty Wed 24-Dec-14 16:29:42

Your husband has gone out with them leaving you without food or heating? angry

Wombat22 Wed 24-Dec-14 16:30:34

Poor you. Why couldn't your DH stay home with you? And turning of the heating? WTF? I hope they've left you some wine. I'd drink the bottle whilst watching something cheesy on tv and to hell with them. I hope you feel better from your operation soon and that tomorrow is better for you thanks

DragonRojo Wed 24-Dec-14 16:30:42

I am amazed your DH has not stayed with you. How thoughtless! Do you know how to put the heating on? Can you ring for a takeaway? I feel very sorry for you and angry on your behalf

craftysewer Wed 24-Dec-14 16:31:14

I'm so sorry you are in this position. I think the first thing you need to do is go and put the heating on, if you can work out how. The next thing is, when everyone gets back, is have a talk with your DH and explain how you feel. He needs to sort you out some decent food and explain to his parents that you need some tlc, not abandoning! You do not need to buck your ideas up - you need everyone else to realise you are ill and need looking after.

reallystuckonthisone Wed 24-Dec-14 16:33:05

OMG. You poor thing. I agree - crack open a bottle and sod the lot of them. I can't quite believe your DH has done this to you.

youbethemummylion Wed 24-Dec-14 16:33:06

That's awful behaviour on their part and also DH for not sticking up for you.

YouTheCat Wed 24-Dec-14 16:33:44

How long are you there for? Sounds hideous.

I'd be having some serious words with your husband about looking after you.

Jessica78 Wed 24-Dec-14 16:34:01

WTF! MIL surely thinks she's hilarious with the mattress protector but ...!
I can't believe that DH has gone out & left you there - that's worse! Why didn't they get a takeaway & snuggle up around the TV - together? YANBU!

Fairyliz Wed 24-Dec-14 16:34:15

Ok first of all can you get up and put the heating on? Most control panels are easy to overide and surely your consultant has told you too keep warm?
Next if you have your computer google some local takeaways and order something to be delivered. Might take a while as it xmas eve but it will come. Then have a scout around the house, surely everyone has some nice chocs/biscuits in for xmas get them started.
Tomorrow tell DH he can go to the pub for an hour max and he need to leave you settled in with some nice goodies, drinks and the remote.
Sorry you are in pain hope its not too bad.

FeckTheMagicDragon Wed 24-Dec-14 16:35:17

They are complete and utter cunts. All of them. Especially your husband! Who does that to their ill wife? On Christmas eve? Bastards, selfish bastards.

I know that you are not up for an argument. Is there anyone you can call who can tell your Inlaws and husband how awful they are being?
Going out is bad enough. Leaving you cold and hungery is just anusive.

Has he always been a thoughtless twat or is this recent?

FeckTheMagicDragon Wed 24-Dec-14 16:36:00

Oh and take the mattress protector off. If you can manage it.

Wombat22 Wed 24-Dec-14 16:37:03

Oh, and if you feel up to it - get the mattress protector off the bed. How rude and insensitive

Bunbaker Wed 24-Dec-14 16:37:38

I am angry that your husband has put his parents before you. He is thoughtless and so are they.

Can you find the central heating controls? Is there a tin of soup in the cupboard?

Surely, if they have invited you for Christmas there should be loads of food to eat.

AskMeAnother Wed 24-Dec-14 16:37:46

put on the heating and phone for a takeaway. when you're well, think about whether you want these people in your life. you should be at home, safe and warm in bed, with people looking after you.

Wombat22 Wed 24-Dec-14 16:37:54

X post blush

PeggaPip Wed 24-Dec-14 16:38:29

How truly awful of them, especially your 'D' H for going out with them and leaving you alone with no food and freezing cold. I would not be happy at all, but then I'm feisty so my partner would probably be getting a text along the the lines of 'Hope you all enjoy your pizza in nice warm restaurant, while I'm freezing my tits off and starving!'

Xmas2014Santa2014 Wed 24-Dec-14 16:39:11

Could you ring dh & ask him to bring back some pizza or a takeaway

Are you able to drink on your medication ?

Have you got kids with you ?

I'd leave on Boxing Day

Coumarin Wed 24-Dec-14 16:39:34

That's awful! You definitely do not need to 'buck your ideas up'. You poor wee thing. sad

Can you manage to find where the heating switch is and turn it on? Make yourself a hot drink? Or will that be too much.

Your DH should be ashamed of himself. Yes you should've said no but your defences were down and it's easy to give in to pressure when you feel like that. He should've been the one to tell them you weren't up to it. And then to go out and leave you... shock Disgusting behaviour.

When he gets back, tell him to remove the protector and you need a hot water bottle and extra blankets. Also some hot food and drink.

I'm raging with him and I don't even know him! And his bloody parents.

Mostlyjustaluker Wed 24-Dec-14 16:39:48

Ring your husband and get him to come back with food for you.

Coumarin Wed 24-Dec-14 16:41:10

Yy call him and tell him to come home straight away. He can't leave you on your own without heat or food when you're in pain and feeling so ill.

FunkyBoldRibena Wed 24-Dec-14 16:42:11

Why aren't you with them? What's the point in you going 5 hours in a car to be in the house on your own all the time?

Go put the heating on at the very least.

ilovesooty Wed 24-Dec-14 16:43:08

I'd call him and tell him you want to go home again ASAP. His behaviour is disgraceful.

minklundy Wed 24-Dec-14 16:43:52

Text dh. Tell him you are cold and hungry. Ask if there is any food for you. That should cause him some remorse you would hope.

Hatespiders Wed 24-Dec-14 16:44:47

You poor girl; terrible nasty bunch of bastards. How could they do this to a poorly woman in pain and recovering from an operation?

I think you should do as suggested above; get the heating going, find something to eat in Her Cupboards and have some wine or other drink. cake wine
When the pigs get back, I'd have a word with your h and demand that on Boxing Day you go home. They obviously don't give a flying about you. Get back home as soon as you decently can and look after yourself.
Your h needs confronting about all this. He doesn't seem to care at all...

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