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Am I harsh? V annoyed.

(23 Posts)
VinoEsmeralda Wed 24-Dec-14 14:45:29

Family are supposed to have arrived here for 1pm, it's now nearly 2 hrs later and still no sign. SIL just phoned to say the baby is still asleep and they don't want to wake him. She was put out when we said ' come whenever you are ready but we have things to do from 7 onwards. ( as in getting the kids ready for Christmas - stocking, board game and special long story time).

Every time we meet she is at least 1-2 hrs late, today just takes the piss IMO. My kids
(8&9) are so bored and excited. I could have taken them to cinema, pool or a long walking instead of all this waiting around.

Baby is v easy child, absolutely gorgeous and maybe IABU but could have gone to sleep in car again or take the buggy and we could have taken him for a walk.

Rant over but keen to hear your opinions!

TidyDancer Wed 24-Dec-14 14:48:24

I think they should've given an earlier heads up, but I wouldn't want to risk a cranky baby especially when tomorrow is likely to be hectic.

It is annoying when people are inconsiderate though.

londonrach Wed 24-Dec-14 14:48:27

Did sil say if baby had bad night last night and is baby pfb. Id let it go as its xmas. Just crack open the xmas wine. fgrin

simbacatlivesagain Wed 24-Dec-14 14:55:14

Haha.My brother is infamous for this. Arrival time stated at 5pm- great. based on past performance anywhere between 9pm and 2am.

I now tell them to text from XX so that we can roughly predict.

Chill and have another glass of champagne. Live is too short to fret.

VinoEsmeralda Wed 24-Dec-14 14:59:47

It's pfb! It happens every time and then they expect to stay all evening and our kids routine is out of the window. Am going to crack open a bottle and raise a glass!

marioluigi Wed 24-Dec-14 15:04:48

My db has no children. He turned up to meet me at apub last weekend (his suggestion) TWO HOURS LATE and failed to see the problem problem was I was hammered by that point
Yanbu, but probably drunk by the time they arrive winkwine

ChristmasEveSteve Wed 24-Dec-14 15:09:16

Nip out to the playground, woods or somewhere fun and leave a note on the door, I'm sure she wont mind waiting in the car for you all to get back! grin

simontowers2 Wed 24-Dec-14 15:13:10

I bloody hate it when people are late. It's so fucking rude. If it were me, i'd just say dont bother, kids were bored so you've taken them to flicks or whatever. The baby thing is no excuse, she is being stupidly precious.

hazelnutlatte Wed 24-Dec-14 15:14:55

My parents were due to arrive between 12 and 1pm today and they are still not here! We could have taken dd out somewhere instead of waiting round all day if we had known.
My parents have form for this so it's not unexpected but it is very annoying!
How old is the baby? If a newborn then I wouldn't be too annoyed with them, I remember the days when getting out of the house seemed like an impossible task. If they are always like this and are just faffing about then I suggest you go out to the park or somewhere and get them to call you when they arrive.

hiddenhome Wed 24-Dec-14 15:17:36



VinoEsmeralda Wed 24-Dec-14 15:18:36

Baby is 9 months. I was so set on not letting it get to me this time but its nearly 2.5hrs late! Next year wewill invite ourselves to theirs so no pfb crap!

VinoEsmeralda Wed 24-Dec-14 15:19:08

DH wasnt so Dh when I suggested the note :-)

AskMeAnother Wed 24-Dec-14 15:19:16

Drives me mad. Used to have a friend who would say 'See you at noon' and not arrive until three or four pm, by which time I was so livid I didn't want to see her at all. She's not a friend any more. fgrin

RawCoconutMacaroon Wed 24-Dec-14 15:28:10

One set of our relatives have form for this. I never cook anything time sensitive when they come for a meal, so it's always buffets, or something like lasagne I can prepare ahead and pop in the oven once they are actually through the door. And we phone their house about an hour after they should have left (they are about an hours drive away), to see if they have actually left. Then we will sit down and watch DVDs or something...

New baby or not, it's bloody rude not to phone someone to let them know you are going to be later than expected and not doing so is a marker of being self-centred and insensitive to the needs of others IMHO! It's about making everything about THEM.

museumum Wed 24-Dec-14 15:41:03

Id never wake my ds to take him to somebody's house as he'd be wailing and nightmarish all afternoon. But I'd also never agree to a 1pm meet.
I know that sounds pfb but it's in everyone's interests.

We meet people in the morning or after nap and I'd always phone immediately if nap ran late.

If something was absolutely at 1pm (a wedding or funeral) I'd try walking him around in the buggy from 12:30 in the hope he will sleep but I'd also need to be near a door for emergency exiting.

Some babies really need their sleep. But it's no excuse for not phoning apologies immediately if you know you might be running late or planning ahead in the first place.

Lymmmummy Wed 24-Dec-14 15:54:08

Have SIL like this - her and BIL no kids but are like the most important people in the world so everyone should wait for them -yeah right - anyway some people just like this - good you set boundary about 7pm - let it go this time then next time go to them at a time which suits you - and don't be too cross - just try and avoid putting yourself in situations where you are left hanging around for them - this is what I did - and it did work -

Nomama Wed 24-Dec-14 16:09:58

Many moons ago, before mobile phones, we arranged my birthday night out (25th). We arranged to meet at 5pm so we could all get in a taxi together. BIL/SIL are notoriously late so I warned them, late = not coming.

We waited until 6pm and then we left. We had a lovely night in the secret/surprise posh place DH had booked, stayed out late, got really drunk, taxi driver was an absolute gem and got us all home giggling and safe.

BIL/SIL went absolutely spare and everyone had heard their sob story version of having been abandoned before we rolled out of bed the next day! We laughed and explained, which made SIL even more angry, apparently I made her look silly!

Now, they made much better attempts at timeliness after that - before we went totally NC . Maybe you could arrange for a polite consequence for them next time? At least go to town imagining it, it might be fun to spend a few day dreamy hours imagining it smile

KatieKaye Wed 24-Dec-14 16:42:36

1. Are they there yet?
2. Is there any wine left in the bottle?

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK Wed 24-Dec-14 17:11:55

Last year my friend was 40 mins late yes 40 mins late for Christmas dinner!

As in arrived 40 mins after food was ready!

She sauntered in like it was no big deal as well and I had to bite my tongue so as not to ruin the day. Grrrr

Janethegirl Wed 24-Dec-14 19:31:33

If I'm doing dinner for friends who are likely to be late I either tell them we are eating an hour earlier than the plan, or do something that takes around 30 minutes to reheat in the oven like lasagne or some sort of pie.
Then it doesn't annoy me do much....and ensure the wine is opened when they are meant to have arrived smile

ghostspirit Wed 24-Dec-14 22:31:38

i would never say i dont want to wake the baby ... i cant because i dont want to wake the baby... maybe sounds a bit harsh. for me i have other children. ring up the school sorry im going to be an hour late because i dont want to wake the baby...

or going to friends house turning up late sorry did not want to wake the baby... docs appointment sorry did not keep appointment did not want to wake the baby...

maybe i sound a cow

LilMissSunshine9 Wed 24-Dec-14 22:54:45

oh dear since my sister got married she is always late so I started to make jokey comments and she quickly stopped hehe nothing like sister rivalry!

Very rude not to have called you earlier to tell you so you could of planned to do something else.

VinoEsmeralda Thu 25-Dec-14 09:55:04

They arrived just before 4pm. She was supposed to do the cheeseboard but she brought 4 100gr cheddars with fruit taste. DH cracked me up as she brought one bottle of wine which he opened straight away as last time she took the wine back home ( he is not a wine drinker).

It is always nice to see them but the waiting is just so annoying, we ( DH and I) agreed not to do this anymore. We scaled it down over the years from full roast dinner ( they were late)to buffet style ( even more late) to next year we go to theirs ( never happened) so its meet for a drink out of the house next year and if they then are late we will take kids to cinema next door. We will meet them on our terms from now onsmile

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