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To really miss the days when my family conversed normally?

(12 Posts)
sebsmummy1 Wed 24-Dec-14 12:51:36

I don't know if anyone else experiences similar, but I'm sure once upon a time my Mother would see me (having not seen me for a week) and ask how I was and make a tiny bit of small chat about things that had happened that week or things generally.

Nowadays I get talked at. If I try to say anything I get talked over or worse walked away from totally.

I have been telling my partner for a while how exasperating I find it trying to have a conversation with my Mother or my Sister ( nothing story same problem) and he just kind of nodded sympathetically. Yesterday he witnessed it and was really surprised, particularly when he was also cut off two words into a sentence and then talked all over for the duration.

So my question is, is it an age thing? My Mum is 72 and whilst very youthful on the outside her short term memory does seem a little worse than it used to be. I am not exactly upset just frustrated. One example is I have been TTC for over a year with 2 miscarriages and have just found out im pregnant again. It's a bloody miracle quite frankly and she knows it, yet when I told her she said the equivalent of 'that's nice' and immediately turned the conversation back to her. It's really weird but it is actually pretty normal?

londonrach Wed 24-Dec-14 12:54:17

You get used to it seb! I still love them.

Artistic Wed 24-Dec-14 13:46:53

I have 37 year old friends who do this! Very frustrating! With a 72 yr old mum I would more accepting & let it go..

sebsmummy1 Sat 27-Dec-14 13:20:04

We managed to have an argument on Boxing Day would you believe and now we are not really talking. I feel shit about it and need to take some of the blame because we have all changed, me included, and I probably need to accept that once upon a time she was my best friend and now we have little in common. It's a shame but I know I am fortunate to still have my Mum in good health so I am going to try my hardest to swallow hard and smile sweetly.

haphazardbystarlight Sat 27-Dec-14 13:32:47

It is very annoying and I sympathise.

Last memory of my dad before he died is if these monologues.

Happy36 Sat 27-Dec-14 13:35:10

My mum is a bit like that and has definitely got worse with age. I don't really mind it. What I do mind is my siblings (who are not teenagers) stuck with their faces in the iPhones and iPads all the time. My phone's been switched off in my handbag in the bedroom and just gets switched on for a few moments before bed to check and return any messages.

Andrewofgg Sat 27-Dec-14 13:50:40

MIL was like that and she got worse as she got older - but she never was much good at listening to anybody else.

In any event OP congratulations grin

SuperGlue Sat 27-Dec-14 13:59:18

Congratulations OP, wishing you a happy and uneventful pregnancy.

As for the situation with your mum, I dunno, mine is the same only she is 64 and in excellent health. She has always been prone to this though. Almost like she is waiting for a 'gap' in the conversation to stick her monologue in. And she tells you the same (crap) 'stories' repeatedly, especially if they feature neighbours or people from her town and you don't have a clue who they are.

Empathy is not really her thing <massive understatement> I had a MMC last month and she really bothered me several times as I was going through it by ringing me to ask how I was doing (we live far away from each other) and then as I was telling her, interrupting me to tell me IN DETAIL all about when it happened to her, or my sister, or a neighbour etc etc etc etc. Made me want to scream really.

I hope I don't get like this. I really do.

sebsmummy1 Sat 27-Dec-14 14:43:44

SuperGlue I am so sorry for your MMC sad. I think we have been on the same TTC thread in the past (under my old name) and I'm so sorry to hear your news.

Interestingly she is addicted to Facebook and two mins after I was saying just how terrified I am that I will lose this pregnancy too and won't announce until I get to 20 weeks (hollow laugh) she was telling me about her ex work colleague's horrific bereavement news. Incidentally we have discussed this frequently and I think an anniversary is coming up for this poor lady, but my god why does she want to talk in depth about dead babies when I'm scared to fucking death right now. It's astonishingly insensitive and I am totally totally sick of it.

GotToBeInItToWinIt Sat 27-Dec-14 15:51:15

My mum does this and she's only 53. Even if I manage to start talking she talks over me. I've given up even trying now, so it's a monologue rather than a conversation. It is really exasperating and makes me feel like she thinks I couldn't possibly have anything to say that's as interesting as what she has got to say. YANBU.

GotToBeInItToWinIt Sat 27-Dec-14 15:52:35

Ps huge congratulations OP!

Fairyliz Sat 27-Dec-14 15:59:10

My mum is in her eighties and has been like this for the last 20 years; I can't remember when I last had a proper conversation with her.
Its very sad as it makes me feel that she is not interested in me, but not really sure what to do.
Once I visted her for two hours and just said hello and huh and she talked for the rest of the time.

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