The last time i was on here was nearly 3 weeks ago, getting excited about Christmas and getting ideas for the elf we have coming to stay.
so much has changed.
my dad died suddenly nearly 3 weeks ago. The funeral was only last week.
in so close to both of my parents and both me and my ds who is 5 saw them everyday.
since it happened we have been staying with my mum, who is,for a better word lost.
in sat here sobbing wrapping my sons Christmas presents wondering how the hell am i going to be able to hold it together tomorrow? He is so excited about Christmas and i am dreading it. How can i name this ok when there is going to be a massive hole at the table.
his dad and i are separated so it has always been just me, ds, gran and grandad. Christmas was already tinged with sadness since my sister passed away a few years ago and it just felt like the past couple of years had started to be happy at christmas time.
i can almost hear my dads voice telling me to pull it together for my sons sake. Ive been doing well, ive not really cried as ive had too much to organise ect.
i don't know what to do. I feel like i don't have any strength left.
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AIBU?
to not be sure i can do this.
14 replies
motherofmonster · 24/12/2014 12:18
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