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to wish that friends wouldn't buy me and dd presents

(21 Posts)
lemisscared Wed 24-Dec-14 10:50:11

so a lovely friend put presents on my doorstep for all of us. me dp and dd. a client sent a present home for dd.

that is four more presents that i hadn't budgeted four to go and buy.

i know they don't expect returns but i would feel bad. i still have my mum to buy for who never appreciates wants or uses anything. my dd1's dp to buy for.

i am praying boots are still doing their three for two.

Nomama Wed 24-Dec-14 10:53:44

Well, of they dropped them on the doorstep today then, no, they won't expect returns and you shouldn't feel in any way obliged. Don't be a martyr to it, just thank them.

SpringBreaker Wed 24-Dec-14 10:55:22

If they are your friends and they know you are not flush with cash, they will understand and have not given to receive. If you can't afford it, don't buy anything.

If it helps though, sainsburys have put all their gift stuff at half price now.

VoldysGoneMouldy Wed 24-Dec-14 10:55:25

Don't get them a present. It's simple. Send them a message saying how kind it was of them, thank you very much. And then get on with getting ready for tomorrow.

If they're not bothered about getting a gift in return, they will be gracious about it. If they are bothered and get rude - well, you don't need to get them a present.

Frogme Wed 24-Dec-14 11:01:52

The client you definitely need to buy for. The others it's up to you. Why don't you send a text saying. Thank you for the presents.

2old2beamum Wed 24-Dec-14 11:04:41

Please do not feel guilty. I am afraid I like to give things at the last minute so they are unable to give anything back.

My 2 youngest are at a Special School and I send little presents on the last day of term for that reason!!

Have a lovely guilt free Christmas fsmile

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 24-Dec-14 11:09:38

Oh don't worry about buying something. chances are they did it today in secret so you wouldn't.

If you were my friend I'd not want you to bother. I buy for who I want and can afford to.its my choice and I dont expect anything in return.

areyoubeingserviced Wed 24-Dec-14 11:10:57

Just thank them fgs . I am sure that they will not be expecting anything in return.

FoxInABox Wed 24-Dec-14 11:42:50

Boots sale has started online if you can get away with giving them after christmas fwink

Apophenia Wed 24-Dec-14 11:47:07

Yes, random work colleagues bought my children gifts. They haven't even met them. I accepted with good grace but it's still weird.

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 24-Dec-14 12:17:08

Yes, random work colleagues bought my children gifts. They haven't even met them. I accepted with good grace but it's still weird

I never understand on MN why people trying to do something nice is considered weird.

Dds have received things from my dms work colleagues. They havent met either.

maybe they got it for someone they knew but it was a duplicate and thought your kids might like it. or they saw it on offer on their lunch break and thought of you.

Maybe they don't have any kids to buy for anymore and miss it.

I think. It's sweet.

earplugsahoy Wed 24-Dec-14 12:22:56

Yanbu, friend's who are very well off buy my dd's presents and i then feel bad not returning the gift giving as we are skint.

NowBringUsSomeFuzzpiggyPudding Wed 24-Dec-14 12:35:34

I think if they're good friends they won't be offended by lack of gift from you. Maybe they are the kind of people who just love giving presents - giving to children especially gives some people a lot of happiness.

One of my best (single, no DCs) friends is very generous, he's quite well off and loves to spoil his friends at Xmas. I've kept trying to put him off the hugely expensive lego sets etc but he always insists! I think choosing and giving them, and seeing the DCs play with them, gives him as much joy as my DCs get from receiving them smile I still feel bad that we can't reciprocate to such an extent (just token things) but he is insistent that he doesn't mind at all.

BakewellSlice Wed 24-Dec-14 12:39:20

I was given gifts as a child through my mum's work. It was kindness and the givers didn't expect returns. They were mostly childless themselves or with grown up kids and obviously in a slightly more flush state than my parents! It was nice. It made me feel people respected my Mum actually.

Blondebiker4685 Wed 24-Dec-14 12:41:00

I don't expect they are expecting a return gift. It was delivered at last min. I find lots of joy in choosing and giving a gift. If you really must get them something, get them a family gift - box of very nice chox or a family game

RattieBagTheOldHag Wed 24-Dec-14 12:41:25

I agree with PPs saying that you should just thank them. If you feel you must get em something just get a little box of chocolate.

lemisscared Wed 24-Dec-14 18:38:02

well i managed to get all of the presents for about £15 thanks to some shrewd shopping, boots and aldi. got my mum a lovely gift half price from crabtree and Evelyn. I was abit naughty and opened my present so i didn't embarrass my friend by overspending or underspending. i think she may have done the boots 3 for 2 thing too.

am glad i bought things she has had a terrible year so have bought her something I know she will appreciate.

was actually quite nice present hunting.

now - wheres my wine

RattieBagTheOldHag Wed 24-Dec-14 18:39:38

Glad you got it sorted wine smile,

lilttlemarvel Wed 24-Dec-14 19:31:00


I wouldn't buy anything back - it's hard not to feel guilty though! I think when people do this they are just trying to be kind and get a lot out of it themselves 'giving'. Unfortunately, they forget about the obligation that comes with it and the fact that the gifts probably aren't really that are actually taking rather than giving. I used to do this kind of thing fblush. Well, maybe that is a bit harsh but that's where I am with it at the will probably change!

Just seen you have sorted it - and enjoyed it! Enjoy the wine. Maybe I do need to re-think my bah humbug stance!

Blondebiker4685 Wed 24-Dec-14 20:58:20

Must be nice to have found something nice for her, particularly after a shitty year

PurpleSwift Wed 24-Dec-14 21:55:22

Just don't return! Sometimes I buy people presents knowing it won't be returned - just because I like too and I think they'll like it (the gift) too. I don't care about receiving anything it return.

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