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To leave a friend's wedding 'early'?

(57 Posts)
OhChristmasTimeTimeforWine Wed 24-Dec-14 10:10:43

I think I have upset a friend by leaving her wedding early. When I say early I mean I left at 10.45pm. The wedding was scheduled to finish at midnight.

I don't have a 'valid' excuse to leave early, as in I am not pregnant and don't have a young child to get back to.

The reasons I left at 10.45 were because I had left the house at 6am to make the long journey to the wedding and had to make a 4/5 hour journey back home the next day. Also the wedding was last Friday and I still had loads of Christmas prep to do (we are hosting this year) plus I felt like I was coming down with a flu/cold and didn't want to stay up too late and party too hard and make myself ill for Christmas, so I took it easy at her wedding (i.e. not drinking much and leaving early).

Was I BU?

Littleturkish Wed 24-Dec-14 10:12:36

Did you say goodbye before going?

hellsbellsmelons Wed 24-Dec-14 10:14:03

I don't have a 'valid' excuse to leave early
Well I think you've listed quite a few actually.
Blimey, at my wedding, by that time, I wouldn't have noticed who was or wasn't there and would certainly not have been offended if people left early!
YWNBU!
Hope that helps!

MaryShelley Wed 24-Dec-14 10:14:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mulderandskully Wed 24-Dec-14 10:15:00

You're an adult and can leave when you like. What a bridezilla. Yanbu

OhChristmasTimeTimeforWine Wed 24-Dec-14 10:15:09

Yes of course before I left I said goodbye to both bride and groom, congratulated them, thanked them for a wonderful day etc.

SunnaClausIsComingToTown Wed 24-Dec-14 10:15:32

It's generally considered rude to leave before the bride and groom so maybe you were a bit U.

FunkyBoldRibena Wed 24-Dec-14 10:15:34

You don't need a reason. You are an adult. If she is having a go at you tell her that needs must.

RonaldMcDonald Wed 24-Dec-14 10:16:30

I had no idea who was at my wedding tbh so unless it was very small I doubt she will have noticed
anyway - you went...that's the important part. You celebrated her joyous union <can you tell i'm divorced?> that should be enough

Swingball Wed 24-Dec-14 10:16:42

No you were not BU! How do you know she is upset? I wouldn't have noticed either by that time. If she is upset that is quite odd behaviour if you ask me.

Swingball Wed 24-Dec-14 10:18:18

'It's generally considered rude' - really? I had no idea of this.

OhChristmasTimeTimeforWine Wed 24-Dec-14 10:18:25

No it was not a small wedding, I would say 100ish guests for the day plus evening guests.

I think the thing about not leaving before bride and grooms dates back to years ago when the bride and groom would leave early to go on honeymoon.......

Middleagedmotheroftwo Wed 24-Dec-14 10:18:30

The Christmas prep isn't a valid excuse. Presumably you had a fair bit of notice about the wedding and should have worked round it.

frankbough Wed 24-Dec-14 10:19:13

Some people left after our meal, some left during the evening nite do, who cares.. As an adult you can go when you please, quick goodbye should suffice...

Ohnonotagain2 Wed 24-Dec-14 10:20:19

Blimey I was the last person standing at my own wedding!

WooWooOwl Wed 24-Dec-14 10:20:29

Of course you weren't being unreasonable.

If the friend is off with you then it could just be that she's having pretty normal post wedding come down blues. She'll get over it.

StormBraver Wed 24-Dec-14 10:20:42

YANBU. I left my best friend's wedding earlier than that! Plus 10.45pm is really not all that early, it's not like you sloped off just after the meal. If your friend is upset by that then she really needs to get some perspective.

LadyLuck10 Wed 24-Dec-14 10:20:58

Yanbu, surely making the effort in the first place is the most important thing. Your friend is being ur.

saintlyjimjams Wed 24-Dec-14 10:20:58

I didn't leave my wedding until 2am so the guests would have had to wait a long time!

YANBU - are you sure she's annoyed? Or is someone just stirring?

saintlyjimjams Wed 24-Dec-14 10:22:36

I have been at a wedding where someone left half way through the meal because her boyfriend had a strop. That was rude. But 10.45? Of course not.

PTAblues Wed 24-Dec-14 10:22:43

You can leave when you like. People get headaches, get tired, get bored. Who cares. If she really does then she is an idiot.

OhChristmasTimeTimeforWine Wed 24-Dec-14 10:23:23

Thanks all, making me feel a lot better.

duplodancer Wed 24-Dec-14 10:23:28

I would feel rude leaving a wedding before bride and groom. Even though I always want to grin

19lottie82 Wed 24-Dec-14 10:24:09

1045 is a perfectly reasonable time to leave. Ignore her.

My DHs parents came to our wedding, sank doubles all day then left at 830n without even saying goodbye!

ThinkIveBeenHacked Wed 24-Dec-14 10:26:23

What makes you think you might have upset her?

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