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DH has locked me and DS out

(53 Posts)
WhatEverItIsIDidntDoIt Wed 24-Dec-14 00:46:48

He is drunk.

Today DH went out for his Christmas lunch/drinks with some colleagues. He WFH full time so socialising with colleagues is rare but he does go out with friends a few times a month but this has never happened before.
I decided that I didn't want to sit at home all day so I decided to come to my parents house but when I arrived home at 9pm DP was already home, had locked the door and left the key in the lock. I called his mobile, rung the doorbell and even shouted through the letter box. 20 minutes of making an arse of myself and the neighbours curtains twitching I got back in the car and went back to my parents. AIBU to be absolutely livid? I've spoken to a friend in RL and she is telling me not to make a big deal out of it as its Chritmas and it will make him feel awkward!!! At the moment I am foaming at the mouth, angry and am not sure how I am going to react when I see him. And to add insult to injury it has been nearly 4 hours and he has not registered that me or DS is not there!

Sorry if this is a bit ranty I am just V frustrated at the moment and I realise this should probably be in relationships.

SaucyJack Wed 24-Dec-14 00:52:26

Is it a mortice lock type thing that you need to lock behind you with a key? We just have a Yale lock here so it couldn't happen.

Very, very annoying. What would've happened if you had nowhere to sleep?

I doubt he did it on purpose tho.

Bulbasaur Wed 24-Dec-14 00:53:30

Don't make a big deal?!? It's your Christmas too, why should you have to cater to his shitty behavior?

I'd kill him. The neighbors would be calling the police because I'd be killing him. angry

That said, is this a habit in a string of shitty behavior, or is this a one off? That would be my starting point on how quickly I'd be forgiving him or calling a divorce lawyer. In a string of shitty behavior, this would be the last straw. In a loving relationship where a good husband has done something stupid, he'd better be making it up to me.

That said, do keep calm in front of DS and leave him at your parents while you two figure this out. He doesn't need to see his parents fighting at Christmas. He's an innocent bystander in the whole thing, and deserves to enjoy his holiday.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 24-Dec-14 00:56:56

If it's a one-off I would be worrying my dh was ok. If he's drunk he could have slipped and hurt himself or fallen down the stars or anything.

I'd be pissed off at the inconvenience if all was well but more relieved he was ok.

WhatEverItIsIDidntDoIt Wed 24-Dec-14 01:00:59

This is the first time (and hopefully the last) and is very out of character. He usually calls or texts me on his way home so I can order him a take away in advance but tonight he didn't. I told DS (3) the White lie that mummy's key wasn't working so we have to stay at nannys, much to his delight.
I am just so angry that he has gotten so drunk that he hasn't realised that we are not there! I am V tempted to turn my phone off to let him suffer.

nikki1978 Wed 24-Dec-14 01:02:46

I'd be worried to be honest and would find a way to break in.

Notmeagain1 Wed 24-Dec-14 01:03:27

I would be seriously pissed. After I finished foaming at the mouth, I might be a little concered he was ok, but it would take some time. 4 hrs and not woke up yet. Keep ringing the phone off the hook.

Im glad your parents were near and you and ds are safe. I hope the wankers ok and has a massive hangover in the morning. Try not to be too quite tomorrow while doing last minute Christmas stuff around the house.fgrin

SaucyJack Wed 24-Dec-14 01:05:07

I don't think it's a concern that he hasn't noticed you're there.

I expect he just went straight to bed and passed out.

TheCowThatLaughs Wed 24-Dec-14 01:05:37

I would also be worried he's hurt himself and would break in somehow. You need to check whether he's ok.

TheCowThatLaughs Wed 24-Dec-14 01:06:24

He's probably just pissed though!

Isabeller Wed 24-Dec-14 01:07:39

Hope all of you are alright, what a pain but sounds like you are making the best of it.

Is there anything he could do to 'make it up' to you (and DS and your parents) fgrin?

WhatEverItIsIDidntDoIt Wed 24-Dec-14 01:08:18

I wasn't concerned about him at all to be honest, now I am a little bit.

I live in a coach house which is posh for flat above garages where I'm from, there is only one way in which is the front door otherwise I probably would have tried the window too!

I can't sleep now and me dwelling on this isn't helping!

musicalendorphins2 Wed 24-Dec-14 01:27:58

An acquaintance of mine just was taken off a respirator, she vomited in her sleep and aspirated the vomit. She lived, but almost didn't. You say it is out of character, so no need to be spitefully noisy tomorrow when he has a hangover. Now if he was a regular drinker, that would be a different story.
Look at the bright side, your parents were close enough that you are able to be sheltered there!

humblebumble Wed 24-Dec-14 02:01:27

He will feel bad enough in the morning. He sounds like he is a good man that unintentionally made a mistake. I don't think there is any point on dwelling on it. Sorry you are having a bad nights sleep.

sittingonthesurface Wed 24-Dec-14 02:19:32

Had the exact same thing happen toe once, dp was very drunk and fell into a coma, I got home from work (shifts) at 4am and he had locked the door from the inside, just couldn't get him to wake up. I called him 90! Times, rang the doorbell etc.
ended up sleeping at work and going home again to shower before a 10 am start after 3hrs sleep. Fun times!

Anyway, I obviously wasn't happy about it but what can you do? I doubt he did it on purpose. Thinking of it I don't think dp ever grovelled enough though...

Bulbasaur Wed 24-Dec-14 03:32:09

Oh good. In a way I'm always glad to hear these things are a one off in a good relationship. Still frustrating though.

I'd still kill him though, just to put the fear of god back into him. wink

I'm sure he's fine. He'll wake up in a couple hours and wonder where you are.

judydoes Wed 24-Dec-14 03:44:04

If It's a one off, I'd let him off. However at least you could go to your Mum's!!What if you had no family/close friends nearby! He's not been horrid, but he has been daft. I'd have a bit of a talk and hopefully it won't happen again.

Goingintohibernation Wed 24-Dec-14 04:22:33

I think your friend is right. I've done this to DH more than once, and he's done it to me, although admittedly not due to drinking and both of is have woken to let the other in. It is very easy to forget to take the key out of the door. It is not surprising that he hasn't heard you knocking/ringing if he is drunk. As long as he is apologetic in the morning I wouldn't make him suffer too much. smile

Donthackmenow Wed 24-Dec-14 04:54:02

I hope you managed to get some sleep. It sounds like a mistake and I'm sure he will be embarrassed in the morning. In years to come I'm sure you will laugh about it!

ElizabethHoover Wed 24-Dec-14 05:15:44

I think the title is crap. He hasn't actually locked you out. Just cocker up with the key

OwlBeGoingToBethlehem Wed 24-Dec-14 06:02:46

Hope everything is Ok later this morning OP

Tealady1983 Wed 24-Dec-14 06:41:26

Hope you managed to get some sleeps op and as pp say if it's only a silly one off mistake I'd be making lots of noise today grin
Christmas disco anyone?wink

londonrach Wed 24-Dec-14 06:58:49

Id be worried more than angry if a one off. Please break in op and make sure he ok. Xx

austenozzy Wed 24-Dec-14 07:38:48

Hope he's ok, op. It's a Christmas one-off, he'll be mortified and apologetic, no need to read him the riot act.

Anyone else feel sorry for bulbasaur's oh? ��

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 24-Dec-14 07:43:54

Why would anyone need to feel sorry for Bulbasaur's DH? Refusing to tolerate crappy behaviour isn't a character defect hmm

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