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Mother leaving child on 24/25/26 to go to friends.

(103 Posts)
Santas Tue 23-Dec-14 23:01:28

i have changed my name because this is a very delicate thing but i would like to know your point of view.
A friend of mine (man) and his wife are getting separated. She is leaving him because...well, it started saying that he does not earn enough for the life style she would like to have (she is an accountant in the city but he is not - despite he has a decent job, he earns less than her). Now, she says that they are different. Anyway... She has managed to save money in the last months (my friend has been paying the mortgage and the bills, while she was apparently saving for a deposit to buy a bigger house together - they live in a small flat at the moment). In august she decided to leave him, took her savings and she has now bought a house where she will probably move in the next two months. He was distroyed, as he tried to make her happy. And overall because they have a 20 months old daughter and he will miss her.
Anyway, the mother has now decided to spend christmas day with friends (Her family leaves abroad so she does not have family in the UK apart from the husband's family.) As she does not drive, she will go on the 24th evening and come back on 26th when the tube will work again.the little girl and the father will go to his parents as every year to celebrate with the family. My friend is upset that his exwife prefer to go to the friends and leave the young girl behind for few nights.
I am shocked she is leaving the daughter in this way. AIBU?

hesterton Tue 23-Dec-14 23:03:23


Really isn't your business.

RattieBagTheOldHag Tue 23-Dec-14 23:03:54

Nah, it's fine. I do it all the time.

MushroomSoup Tue 23-Dec-14 23:05:08

Any parents that divorce - myself included- will share care of the DCs over holidays.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 23-Dec-14 23:05:27

It's just the same as separated parents taking turns each year

They're separated, they will likely take turns

3BloodyKids Tue 23-Dec-14 23:05:32


violetwellies Tue 23-Dec-14 23:06:18

Well both parents can't have her, why shouldn't it be her Dad?

oswellkettleblack Tue 23-Dec-14 23:06:31

she is leaving her with her father, not on a doorstep.

TooHasty Tue 23-Dec-14 23:06:48

1 she is 20 m old and doesn't really have any concept of xmas
2 she is with her dad who is equally her parent

NeedsAsockamnesty Tue 23-Dec-14 23:06:52


Its not unusual for one parent to not spend Christmas with their child when parents are not together.

Allingoodfaith Tue 23-Dec-14 23:07:00


TooHasty Tue 23-Dec-14 23:07:11

are you the dad?

EatShitDerek Tue 23-Dec-14 23:07:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beachyhead Tue 23-Dec-14 23:08:07

So she's leaving him to have his dd over Christmas, with his family?

WrigleysBum Tue 23-Dec-14 23:08:39

I can think of so many reasons she could have decided this with the very best (and selfless) of intentions.

londonrach Tue 23-Dec-14 23:10:38

Yabu the child is being left with his or her dad!

PatriciaHolm Tue 23-Dec-14 23:10:40

Would he prefer not to see his daughter over Christmas when she was with her mother?

You sound somewhat over invested here, OP. It's not your business.

IloveOreossx Tue 23-Dec-14 23:11:01

It seems you're just looking for a reason to have a go about her, whoever you are to her.

unclerory Tue 23-Dec-14 23:11:21

I was prepared to be judgy but the child is going to be with her father and grandparents so hardly abandoned. Divorced parents tend not to be able to spend every Christmas with their children. Would you be so judgy if the father was away for three days over Christmas?

Notmeagain1 Tue 23-Dec-14 23:11:53

YABU, hes her father not the strangers the mum will be with, the baby will be with dads family. Much better for the child then being off with people it doesnt know, imo.

Bumbiscuits Tue 23-Dec-14 23:12:29

Why are you so bothered by this?

ouryve Tue 23-Dec-14 23:12:55

The girl is spending time with her father and grandparents. I don't see the problem.

NoArmaniNoPunani Tue 23-Dec-14 23:13:35

I think it's the least she can do. She's the one who's left him, why should he be without his daughter at Christmas?

furcoatbigknickers Tue 23-Dec-14 23:14:12

Its fine. Dd is very small.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Tue 23-Dec-14 23:14:29

I'm working Christmas, does that make me a bad mother.

Both are equal parents and why should the mother automatically get all the holiday, surely it should be split.

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