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to wish that parents would explain to their DC's that if they are going Carol Singing, some people may not have money to give?

(23 Posts)
lorneylou Tue 23-Dec-14 18:41:25

I'm embarassed!

Just had a knock on the door, I was in the middle of gathering up the mountains of toys from living room floor so swung open the front door in a bit of a huff to be met with a little boy, all dressed up singing 'We wish you a merry Christmas'. He looked goregous, sang beautifully and DH and DD rushed to the door to listen.
So, at the point I began to panic! I have NO money, have just checked my account and theres 33p in there. We have struggled this year and have just about managed to pull off Christmas with nothing to spare.
Normally, I wouldn't have any cash in the house anyway because I always use my debit card.
So, while DH and DD were listening I rummaged around and gathered up a packet of crisps, Christmas chocolate log thing and a Christmas lolly-pop, I had nothing else.
After he had finished we all thanked him, wished him a Merry Christmas and gave him the sweeties etc to which he replied 'errrr...... no thanks!' and turned and wandered into next door.
His parents were wandering about on the other side of the street and for a second I had the urge to go and tell them that their son was really bloody rude, and another urge to go and apologise as I am mortified that I didn't have £1 or even 50p to give him.
I have been dreading Christmas as we have been struggling all year, and DH and I both knew we wouldn't be able to do all the things that we wanted to do, but after he got paid on Saturday and we got our last bits and pieces, we were really pleased at how much we have managed to do with so little money. We have been on a high since!
Now I just feel bloody awful fsad

EatShitDerek Tue 23-Dec-14 18:42:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard Tue 23-Dec-14 18:44:57

I wish people wouldn't knock on doors and ask for money.

It's bad manners.

I never have cash on me either. You did the right thing. Don't feel crap because of one unpleasant person. It was sweet of you to gather up goodies.


Lovelydiscusfish Tue 23-Dec-14 18:46:40

Can understand why you're upset, and this is the problem with door to door collecting.
It may be he was collecting for charity though, rather than himself, which may be why he didn't accept your food? And he may have not known what to say, rather than meaning to be rude. Hope so.
Anyhow, don't let it spoil your Christmas, which you and you dh have clearly saved very hard for!

LadyLuck10 Tue 23-Dec-14 18:46:54

Don't feel bad, I would have just said thank you and closed the door. Every turn you make these days, someone wants money. His parents have a cheek sending him around to do this.

SqueezyCheeseWeasel Tue 23-Dec-14 18:47:05

Don't feel guilty. You shouldn't feel obliged to donate to door stepping carollers (or otherwise) whether your bank account has 33p or £33million in it. You were kind to give him anything and he should have been grateful and polite in acceptance. YANBU

clearsommespace Tue 23-Dec-14 18:47:47

I've been out of the UK a while but I thought carol singing wax for charity. Isn't it the case any more?
If it is for charity, wouldn't they have to refuse goodies (unless it was a food bank fundraiser)?

clearsommespace Tue 23-Dec-14 18:49:33

X post with discusfish.

He didn't come across as use in your OP.

ilovesooty Tue 23-Dec-14 18:49:46

I've just refused to answer the door to Carol singers.

clearsommespace Tue 23-Dec-14 18:49:51


SqueezyCheeseWeasel Tue 23-Dec-14 18:50:56

It was one boy and his parents, not a big organised group, clearsome

MassaAttack Tue 23-Dec-14 18:52:46

A bright and breezy 'that was lovely, thank you' before shutting the door is sufficient.

lorneylou Tue 23-Dec-14 18:58:03

I don't think it was for charity, has only around 7 or 8 years old. If it was adults, I would have thanked them and said, 'sorry, I've got no change' and wouldn't have given it a second thought.
His reaction did make me a bit angry though.
We did take my DD trick or treating at Halloween (only because all the other little ones in the street were doing it and we knew the neighbours had bought sweets especially for them). She's only 4 and I had a very long chat with her beforehand about what people might give. It could be some coins, some sweeties or they might just wish her a Happy Halloween. In all cases, she knew she had to say thank-you and Happy Halloween.
I don't mind people knocking and if I have change I will give, I just felt like a really miserable sod!

clearsommespace Tue 23-Dec-14 18:59:06

When I was a DC you didn't have to be a big group to carol sing for charity. I did it with 2 friends.
I do think it's a shame if people are going from house to house to do it for personal gain. Not really the Christmas spirit.

clearsommespace Tue 23-Dec-14 19:02:20

I don't understand why he was rude. Was it because he didn't say Merry Christmas?

msgrinch Tue 23-Dec-14 19:07:23

what a rude child. charity or not. Bad behaviour. I would have given his parents a piece of my mind. Christmas is about giving and caring not financial benefit. His parents should have tried harder.

msgrinch Tue 23-Dec-14 19:10:10

He was rude because the op didn't give him the cash he wanted. His reaction sums it up. The op offered him presents and he turned her down.

lorneylou Tue 23-Dec-14 19:11:16

clearsomespace - He seemed rude because when he put his hand out at the end of the song, and I produced food instead of money he looked at it and said ' thanks' than turned and walked off. It wasn't even a ' no thank-you (I have enough chocolate!) kind of thing, he honestly looked at it like he thought I was joking! I honestly didn't have anything else to give him, it was more his attitude than anything else.

kinkyfuckery Tue 23-Dec-14 19:14:03

Could it be he was doing it for fun? Didn't want cash or goodies?

clearsommespace Tue 23-Dec-14 19:14:33

I get it now. It doesn't come cross as rude in the OP. Hesitation and then 'no thanks'.
I guess you had to be there to pick up the attitude.

clearsommespace Tue 23-Dec-14 19:17:06

Also you didn't say he held out his hand.
I'm sad that kids are singing for personal gain.

PuppyMonkey Tue 23-Dec-14 19:25:05

BIL has just told a story about carol singers coming to his door last week. He let them finish 2 songs and then said " very good, thanks " before politely shutting the door - he'd never experienced carol singers before and didn't know what to do . The numpty .

Bulbasaur Tue 23-Dec-14 19:34:57

When I was a kid, our scout troop went door to door singing carols for the elderly living center. Never collected any money, and we were told before hand to not accept food from strangers. We all came home with a ton of cookies and candy canes that the troop leader inspected before we ate, because none of the adults had the heart to say no to a smiling elderly woman who looked like grandma. Then by the time we got a few doors down with cookies in hand, it just looked like the done thing so the rest followed suit. grin

Anyway, the kid may not have known what to do and you probably caught him off guard. Or he may have been already taught you don't take candy from strangers. Kids aren't exactly known for figuring out social graces for situations they weren't instructed on.

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