Will try to keep brief
Ex husband left 2 years ago and messed about with son for contact trying to fit around a hobby and then said he wouldn't see son so has no contact as he would go 4/5 weeks with no contact and son was only young at the time so I said it wasn't on.mil agreed he should see son more
Son previously went every other weekend to mil from sat 130 till sun till 4 but have found out ex mil has been running to her son telling him what I have spent in my home and so he is funny about paying maintenance and pays the bare minimum.
She has been in my house agreeing with me about the disgusting treatment of both myself and my son but it seems she just been 2 faced as we had a massive argument about her telling false information to my son about his dad had been there for him and he was never a bad dad, for the record I have never said he is a bad dad this is my sons feelings after being let down and weeks of no contact.
She also forced my son to see his dad but she denies this.
She then back tracked anything she had ever said about her son and told me to stay away from her family as I told her my sons surname would be changed as ex agreed to me changing . This is despite her changing her sons surname twice after divorce!
She said a lot of things which were nasty like I'm rolling in it on benefits and maintenance money
Anyway due to all this aggro I reduced contact to every 3 weeks he goes sat till Sunday and we don't speak I just open the door as I didn't want her in my house looking around.
But this arrangement isn't working as I can't plan ahead as if something happening at school or a friend puts me on the spot asking about play dates /partiesI have to work out as parties are always at weekend but son is missing out as parties somehow happen to land on her weekend.
I thought it would be easier if it was a set first weekend of the month he goes so that is easier for everyone involved to remember and plan and he going for approx 27 hours so that's a long time.
She kicked off saying it's too long in between visits so I reminded her the crux of why we fell out as I said it was unacceptable for ex to go so long like 4/5 weeks with no contact and she said it was acceptable and he was a good dad despite for 2 years saying it was wrong.
So it's ok for a dad to not see his son used to seeing him every day to go to every 4 weeks but it's not acceptable for a grandma.
When I said which is it then acceptable or not she said it's not about my ex it's her.
It is true I do want to reduce contact not cut her out but she has done several things overstepping boundaries like getting my son to do fathers days cards when my son was angry at his dad.
I also don't want her filling my sons head with an idea of the fantasy dad she thinks he is.
What contact would be reasonable considering we do not speak ? IS. once a month for a full day too little?
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To ask what would be reasonable contact for ex mil in these circumstances?
33 replies
exmrs · 23/12/2014 16:39
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QuietsBatmobileLostAWheel ·
23/12/2014 20:10
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