To be completely pissed off with DH's friends?

[quellerosiel]

Bit of background... DH and I have been together total of three years. Dh has known his best mate (best man at our wedding) since he was eleven and the rest of his close friends since college. Naturally whe I met them I did my very best to be friendly etc and was hoping I might end up getting close with them all given that we make three couples. I have never been given an impression that I was not liked or getting things wrong.

Best friend and wife had a son about 18 months ago and since then we have seen them maybe six times down from every fortnight ish. This situation has gotten worse and worse to the point we now haven't seen them since our wedding July. I've just discovered that other couple (not involving best friend) have just had a baby shower for their LO due in a few weeks to which we were not invited or had any knowledge of. We have tried our very best to be accomodating with DH best mates son, offered baby sitting, dinners, chores, company and anything else we could think of to no avail. They only live ten minutes away.

I know DH is really gutted about how rubbish they are being. I know their priorities have now shifted (completely understandable) but surely DH still deserves his closest friends to make him a priority occasionally? Of course we don't expect to be pubbing it any more but given how much we've tried it seems really rubbish of them to be so out of touch? They dain to return texts after a week if we're lucky.

We don't have DC yet so go out of our way to fit in with their plans and make their lives easier.

DH is gutted by this behaviour and it makes me so upset to see him so sad about this

[quellerosiel]

PS.... Had to massively pluck up the courage to post in AIBU, be gentle!!

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

Baby Showers are normally a female thing. Men do not get an invite.

Perhaps the wife does not see you as a friend, but as an acquaintance

[SparklyReindeerShit]

Maybe they're really struggling with dc and don't have time for much else at the minute? Have you tried to talk to them about it?

[quellerosiel]

Yea you're probably right Piper. To be fair, I'm mildly peeved about baby shower and more upset with non contact for DHs sake.

We've tried Sparkly, literally every arrangement we could think of. They would have had to just name a time and we would have been there. I just get the feeling once best mate has DC2 then we might as well bank on never seeing them for about 5 years.

[UterusUterusGhali]

Children take up a lot of time!
Of course friendship dynamics will change!

As to the baby shower; a woman's closest friends go to that. Not her husband's mate.

How old are you both? Are these your first friends with DC?

[quellerosiel]

First close friends but we are very friendly with our neighbours who have two dc 6 and 15mo who we see fairly often and they just bring them over/we play with them when we go there.

Totally aware of how much time kids take up but we've seen them maybe 5 times in 18 months and two of those occasions was to do with wedding suits etc.

I know there were men invited to this baby shower including (I'm fairly sure) dh best mate. They all, might I add, went on DH stage do together.

TBH, the baby shower thing was a bit of the straw that broke the camels back. Not a huge deal. Just so sad for DH who feels like he has lost his only friends.

[quellerosiel]

Stag.... not stage.... trying to imagine a stage do now.