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To refuse to take back this present for Mil..

(78 Posts)
honeypie10 Mon 22-Dec-14 23:08:23

In september mil told me she wanted to buy ds a tablet (he's 2). I told her she can buy him what he likes but he may not appreciate something like that till nexy year or year after - thinking she meant along the lines of a leap pad type one.

The weekend later Dp visits and tell me when he got home shes gone and bought him a samsung one from toys r us (we have a samsung one already, she knows this yet still got another anyway) I wouldn't have bought him a tablet at all myself, dp feels the same, so anyway dp says it would be better to change it to a more age appropriate one, I even offered as i was going past the store the same weekend, she said shed lost the receipt so she would go herself and explain she needed to change it we showed her the type to get on the website but Mil is of the generation where she is terrified to take things back, my dads the same.

I've just come home from their house and they were talking about christmas and what father christmas was going to bring ds, he's obviously a bit young so hasnt really got a clue whats going on, then she announces what she plans to do is to put wrap it up to give him something on christmas day but will give me the receipt so I can take it back. This was the first we knew, she's had 3 months to take a 15 minute drive into town and swap the thing that we didnt even want in the first place.

I told her if thats what she planned dont even give it to him in the first place, as soon as he sees it he will want it, so just don't give him it until shes swapped it, she seems to think as I offered 3 months ago that offer is still open... Dp thinks im being a bit mean and said she just struggles taking things back, but I dont see why I should. aibu? I cant see how I am.

MmeLindor Mon 22-Dec-14 23:11:24

Will they even take it back, if it was bought in September?

In any case - she can't give a 2 year old a present and say, 'But you are not having that, we are getting you a different one'. He won't understand it, and will be upset.

SanityClause Mon 22-Dec-14 23:11:28

Well, I'm sure your DP can take it back, if his DM struggles to do so.

UnexpectedSchoolOffer Mon 22-Dec-14 23:11:39

Surely they won't take something back that was bought so long ago any way.

honeypie10 Mon 22-Dec-14 23:14:40

She seems to think as its been unopened and she still has the receipt they will take it back, i'm not so sure, Im just furious that she cant just choose something simple that he will play with.

When she first asked what i thought I said he loves thomas the tank engine trains get a couple of them to go with his track, but no, she constantly has to go 1 better yet somehow never gets it right.

He would have loved a couple of trains so much more than a tablet but she has to be that person so she can say well I got him a tablet, everyone look at how wonderful I am.

ChasedByBees Mon 22-Dec-14 23:15:26

I also don't think she has the option of returning it now due to time either.

scarletforya Mon 22-Dec-14 23:15:26

I think maybe yab a bit u.

Would you not just get a sturdy cover for it and put parental controls on it. It hardly seems worth all the fuss about bringing it back at this stage.

honeypie10 Mon 22-Dec-14 23:18:39

We have parental controls on this one we have now and a rubber cover so if he drops it, its not so bad.

I just don't see the point in having 2 though, but maybe that's just me and it seems like a massive waste of money for her.

realme Mon 22-Dec-14 23:18:47

Could you just say thanks and keep it on the side if you rather nice t let D's use it (I wouldn't let a 2 year old have his own tablet). My UST use it yourself/sell it...

ProcrastinaRemNunc Mon 22-Dec-14 23:23:52

I do think you're being a bit U. It might not be perfectly age appropriate but it is a very nice gift, all the same. There are plenty of toddler appropriate games and audio/ visual books available now, that he'd surely get some benefit from it, once protected with a substantial screen cover and bumper? Although you do have one, it is also nice for them to have their very own. Maybe an indulgence at two but its Christmas - so why not!

youareallbonkers Tue 23-Dec-14 04:21:11

Do people really say to relatives that gift is not what we want, take it back and buy something else? How rude.

EatShitDerek Tue 23-Dec-14 05:08:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BathshebaDarkstone Tue 23-Dec-14 05:15:29

I really don't think a 2 year old needs his own tablet, we haven't even got a tablet! I think you should take it back and get him something more age appropriate. fsmile

Theorientcalf Tue 23-Dec-14 05:16:05

I doubt after three months she'll get a refund. An exchange or vouchers maybe.

Theredandthewhite Tue 23-Dec-14 05:23:08

Giving it too him but not to keep is just weird.

Indecisive ex mil did this all time. Would give you four presents, wait for you to open them then say pick which one you like best, I'll take the rest back to the shop hmmconfused

chipsandpeas Tue 23-Dec-14 05:53:13

keep the tablet and sell it on ebay or gumtree cos i cant see them taking it back

Asleeponasunbeam Tue 23-Dec-14 06:19:59

So many toys a 2 year old would like. What is she going to buy him when he's 10? His own car?

ihatethecold Tue 23-Dec-14 06:50:42

2 year olds don't need their own tablet.
What is the world coming too.
You clearly said it's not a suitable present.
Get your dh to take it back. Hopefully they will refund.

I took something back to Toys R Us the other day, and was a bit worried because it was 1 day over the month; they told me it was a 3 month return period. But that's in Australia, I don't know if it's the same in the UK or not. Phone them to see. But if it's more than 3 months then you're stuffed anyway.

Your MIL has just done this to get her own way, I'm thinking. If you don't want your 2 yo to have his own tablet (and I can entirely see why you think that, I agree) then just have something you can give him in its place and don't even let him open it. There isn't any point in letting him open it and then trying to take it off him.

Re it being a massive waste of money for her, I really would stop worrying about that. She chose to do it, despite your sensible suggestions, so that's up to her.

OatcakeCravings Tue 23-Dec-14 07:01:09

YABU and really rude. When someone buys you a gift learn to accept it with good grace.

Camolips Tue 23-Dec-14 07:02:45

It sounds from the tone of your posts that she will never do anything right. Just let it go. If he likes it, what's the harm? You can always put it away for safe keeping if he doesn't play with it and if he does, well then it's fine. Why are you furious? It's such a small thing to get upset over.

Iggly Tue 23-Dec-14 07:04:56

1 - you're a bit rude and entitled. Your MIL made the choice. And yes some people are nervous of taking things back, big deal for you.
2- tell your partner to take it back. It is his mum after all.

MaryWestmacott Tue 23-Dec-14 07:06:34

Tell DH you won't let her give it to DS and you wo'nt take it back. He can let his mum waste her money as you'll just put it straight in a chairty shop, or he can collect his mum tonight and take her to Toys R Us to change it, suggest he'll have to go with her to change it because she's left it so late. If he doesn't want to do that, DS is getting no gift from Granny, you won't give something to take it away and if it gets to January, theywon't take it back anyway.

Tell him he needs to call his mother and arrange to do this tonight. Not next week, tonight, this is the last chance to sort it and it needs sorting, you won't sort it for him and her - you will just give it away.

If he doesn't, tell him clearly tomorrow you will not allow this to be given to DS to be taken away again and you don't want him to have it. Or alternatively, you'll let him play with it with no cover, and as soon as he drops it, pop it in the bin. You will not supervise the use of an inappropriate toy that you know will be smashed before New Year. His choice.

Iggly Tue 23-Dec-14 07:07:16

Also your reaction to the idea of a tablet was a bit hmm as you have a tablet yourself which he already plays with.... I can see the logic of getting on - not for a two year old but when you don't have toddlers you can forget a bit what is appropriate.

MaryWestmacott Tue 23-Dec-14 07:07:42

oh yes and what is it with older people refusing to return things no matter how bad they are? My parents are the same. Did it used to be a problem to return stuff or only 'difficult' people who did it?But in that case, surely they should make sure htey get the right expensive thing in the first place...

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