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Aibu to feel totally grumpy?

(10 Posts)
FTRsGotAShinyNewNN Sun 21-Dec-14 14:48:58

DH is in the armed forces, he came home on Thursday from a 5 month trip, we have a 6 year old and I'm 35 weeks pregnant. In the time DH has been away I've not had much time to myself as I work and when DS is not at school and I'm not at work he's with me almost all of the time, which is fine he's my child.
I was so looking forward to DH coming home, not only because I've missed him but because I was looking forward to having a bit of a break.
Herein lies the problem, yesterday he went out for 5 hours to do his hobby that's fine off you go I said, today he's gone to the pub to watch his team play football, before he went his DF said something about 'matches' so. It turns out they're watching their own team plus the following match.
I said to DH I'd prefer if he only watched the first match because I'm really tired today, there's housework needing done and otherwise he won't be home until after 6pm so I'd have to make dinner tonight for DS.
So Aibu to be in a total hormonal grump that he seems planning to watch both matches because he said I'll be home just after 6 hmm and to be feeling totally fed up?

seastargirl Sun 21-Dec-14 14:56:21

You have every right to feel fed up. I appreciate he may need some down time after getting back, but you also need a break.

Can you ignore the housework, put a film on and order a take away, then let him do the catching up with everything tomorrow?

FTRsGotAShinyNewNN Sun 21-Dec-14 15:01:05

I think I'm pissed off because the house was lovely and tidy when he got home and now 3 days later his work bag is still on the dining room floor and he's making vague complaining noises about about needing clean socks and boxers I think he's hoping I'll say I'll wash some but really I'm thinking you know where the machine is mate!
I think your suggestion is very sensible, DS and I might retreat to my bed and watch a movie.

Mammanat222 Sun 21-Dec-14 15:03:02

You have every right to feel pissed off. I'm 36w with number 2 (DS is still a toddler and I work full time) but without my OH's help I'd really struggle.

Leave all the chores for him tomorrow and get a takeaway later / do an easy dinner for child - this is why they invented fish fingers

LindyHemming Sun 21-Dec-14 15:25:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

angelohsodelight Sun 21-Dec-14 15:27:00

If your dh has been somewhere that's hardgoing, such as Iraq, then he probably needs time to adjust, think about normality and chill. If not, then give him the washing powder!

calmexterior Sun 21-Dec-14 15:29:36


Um, never mind the 35 weeks pregnant - he has a family! I'd have thought spending time with you guys should be priority flowers

ArchangelGallic Sun 21-Dec-14 15:56:55

I have a friend whose husband worked away on oil rigs for weeks or months at a time. They had an agreement that for a week after he got home, they would each continue to do their own thing while they readjusted to being in the same home again and the new routine, and then after that they would be a complete family unit again.

They found it helped both of them adjust to the husband coming home without causing arguments.

I appreciate that you need the help and support but maybe it's worth considering a few ground rules to help with adjusting back to family life, because let's face it, as long as your husband is in the armed forces, this situation is not going to go away.

TidyDancer Sun 21-Dec-14 16:08:22

I get where you're coming from. But flip it on its head. He's doing his hobby and football stuff now, he'll presumably be with you all over Christmas. The housework can wait. Get a takeaway tonight. He can unwind and you can have a chilled afternoon.

FTRsGotAShinyNewNN Sun 21-Dec-14 16:29:32

He's been in Central America and the Caribbean hmm
Normally it doesn't bother me, I'm self sufficient enough that I don't need him here all the time, we've been together 14 years and he already did this job when I met him.
I'm tired to the point of tears and just can't be arsed to do anything that needs done.

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