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wibu to complain to sainsburys?

(150 Posts)
Smoolett Sun 21-Dec-14 14:07:51

I feel like I may have potentially cost someone their job and feel shit.
Me and my dd 10 months pop in to sainsburys fairly regularly. There is a woman who works on the tills who has been pretty over familiar with her the last few times we've been in ie tickling her and touching her. I'm sure there is nothing sinister or untoward but today she was trying to get a cuddle.
When I got home I sent a carefully worded email but I'm so worried now that this lady will get in trouble when I just don't want to be put on this position again.

LuckyLopez Sun 21-Dec-14 14:09:00

Honestly? Yes I think you've overreacted.

NaiceNickname Sun 21-Dec-14 14:09:51

Is there only one till and cashier there? hmm

StuntBottom Sun 21-Dec-14 14:10:32

Why not just avoid her till?

ShellyF Sun 21-Dec-14 14:11:10

You could easily have avoided her till.I agree that she shouldn't be touching your child but you could have dealt with the situation differently.

FannyFifer Sun 21-Dec-14 14:11:36

Jeez get a grip, poor woman!

magpieginglebells Sun 21-Dec-14 14:11:47

Isn't it normal for people to want to tickle or touch babies? Surely she was just being nice?

Why not just say something to her face? Personally I'd be hugely embarrassed to go back in the store.

MyrnaLoy Sun 21-Dec-14 14:11:52

I'm trying really hard to understand why you would have reacted in this way. What do you feel the risk is? Can you explain a bit about why you felt you couldn't handle this in a different way?

I'm not trying to be unkind, but I genuinely don't understand why you would feel the need to email this woman's employer.

Fabulous46 Sun 21-Dec-14 14:12:28

Why did you send an email if you feel there was nothing untoward or sinister?

callmewhatever Sun 21-Dec-14 14:12:44

Sorry but I think YABU. You could have spoke to her directly. Some people are friendly with children to that extent. You have every right to speak to her and complain, but personally I think it is taking it too far to email HO regarding it, she may well get a warning it worse because of it.

WorraLiberty Sun 21-Dec-14 14:12:52

Of course she won't get in trouble and this certainly won't cost her her job.

Instead I'm quite sure they'll simply think you're a bit mad.

VikingLady Sun 21-Dec-14 14:14:40

I know what you mean. My DD cannot bear being touched - it terrifies her and often seems to hurt (sensory issues). Supermarkets often put kids on edge anyway. And if you've asked her not to touch your child, it is very rude of her to continue.

If you haven't asked her to stop then you would be unreasonable though! Most people are fine with it so the woman wouldn't know any different.

I doubt you've cost her a job though. If anything has been said by her manager it is likely to be a mild"hands off" chat.

Cantbelievethisishappening Sun 21-Dec-14 14:14:49


HouseBaelish Sun 21-Dec-14 14:15:20

I cannot understand your issue. She was being pleasant and tickled your baby? Horror!

If she was a problem, why not use a different till?

Smoolett Sun 21-Dec-14 14:16:25

She works on self service and made a beeline to us last week and before I realised she was tickling the backs of her legs and tummy.
I've never encountered this anywhere else tbh and thought it was really strange and off putting. I'm not suggesting anything sinister but I do feel this was OTT

Fuckmath Sun 21-Dec-14 14:17:04


She was doing something inappropriate that made a customer feel uncomfortable so fair enough for you to tell the store you don't like it

Don't worry I really doubt she will be sacked for this!

Smoolett Sun 21-Dec-14 14:17:30

Just to clarify I don't have an issue with people touching her I just don't want her to be public property iyswim

francesdrake Sun 21-Dec-14 14:18:59

Did you actually look her in the eye at the time and say, 'Please don't do that, she doesn't like it?' Because an email to her boss is only really appropriate if you made your feelings crystal clear at the time and she continued - most friendly people would, I reckon, back off, embarrassed if you told them to stop.

Ohmygrood Sun 21-Dec-14 14:19:06

I'm not sure how a cashier could manage to be over familiar if she was sat on a till and dd was in the trolley, as surely she could only have managed to touch her cheek.
And why didn't you use a different till or the self-service tills if it was already an issue?

Smoolett Sun 21-Dec-14 14:20:36

Well the first time she did it before I realised because I was scanning my shopping through. Today I was trying to be polite and say oh she's tired she's not in the mood but she kept going til I walked away.

HouseBaelish Sun 21-Dec-14 14:20:50

Have you really complained because someone tickled your babies legs. Something you didn't think was sinister (and really how could it be?)

Ohmygrood Sun 21-Dec-14 14:21:14

xpost with op - I see she's on the self-service. Just ask her not to to touch dd in future.

francesdrake Sun 21-Dec-14 14:24:19

Well, then, I think you've been a bit U, sorry. I know it's awkward to say, 'Please don't do that' and risk looking rude, but 'my baby's a bit tired' just translates as 'that'd be fine if the baby was more awake.' Not 'don't touch my baby at all ever please.'

Getting the woman's boss involved is going to make it look as if she was mauling the child and ignoring your requests not to.

KoalaDownUnder Sun 21-Dec-14 14:24:37

No, you need to say 'Please don't touch her', in those words. Padded out with whatever other niceties, but you need to actually say them.

It's really unfair to complain to someone's boss without giving them the chance to rectify their behaviour first. I understand it would be an awkward conversation to have, but I think you've been cowardly. sad

arewethereyetmum78 Sun 21-Dec-14 14:26:48

I work for sainsburys and her manager will have to have a chat with her over this. Sainsburys do take customer service very seriously and if they receive a complaint they will act on it. That is assuming head office forwards it. I would say though that all Sainsburys managers are regularly on the shop floor so a better idea would have been to ask at the customer service desk to speak to the check out manager and have your issue resolved there and then rather than risking your complaint not reaching the correct ears or getting missed in the Christmas bizz.

She will not lose her job but should be made aware that not everyone appreciates people touching their kids

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