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To ask relative to bring something else instead?

(100 Posts)
MyFirstName Sun 21-Dec-14 13:43:01

We are hosting Christmas. Had offers of help/family bringing stuff. Asked one part of the family to bring dessert to offer an alternative to Christmas Pudding. Another to bring cheese (mainly for evening buffet, but to offer any who could fit it in after lunch).

A and B decided to how to split the jobs A would bring cheese and B would bring dessert. No skin off my nose. However B is a little flaky/suffers from last-minute-itis so i discussed with DH and have got in some cheep/cheerful frozen profiteroles as a back up. We like them, can eat them another time, but they are there as backup if B fails to deliver. Which is entirely possible.

Just heard from B re dessert. They have decided, as the alternative-to-Christmas-pudding dessert, that they are bringing............Christmas Pudding Ice-cream. Am I the only one the think FFS!!!

Their reason for making it is that is lovely to eat, easy to make and will travel well. Valid reasons. But I do not think it in anyway offers an alternative to Christmas Pudding!

Would I be unreasonable to phone B and to say, please do not bring that. Or if you do could you do something else as well? Or should I just suck it up. Accept the ice cream gratefully and plan for something else myself (I have an easy lemon cheesecake recipe I could whip up the day before). Or get the profiteroles out. I have a bit of an up/down relationship with this person. I think it would be almost impossible for me to say something without them getting the hump and taking it in very bad grace.

Should I be brave and say something? Or just accept the icecream and defrost the profiteroles?

YuloidSubstances Sun 21-Dec-14 13:46:38

Why is it an unacceptable alternative? If you're that fussed get the profiteroles out but I don't think it's a big deal.

KnackeredMerrily Sun 21-Dec-14 13:46:40

I'd also do your profiteroles

pictish Sun 21-Dec-14 13:46:59

Accept the ice cream and plan something else yourself, or defrost the profiteroles.
Don't pooh pooh the ice cream or ask for an alternative. That would be peevish.

OddBoots Sun 21-Dec-14 13:47:09

I think I'd 'accidentally' defrost the profiteroles I'd bought for New Year by leaving them out the freezer in all the rush of Christmas, they won't keep well thawed so they'll have to go out as an extra.

MrsKringle Sun 21-Dec-14 13:47:27

I think you should say something. I think person B may take offence if they bring the ice-cream and you then serve up profiteroles without a word about the ice-cream they brought along.

Very odd choice of alternative to Christmas Pudding though! I would just say, "Would you mind bringing something else? I'm already serving actual Christmas Pudding so it would be good to have something completely different for those who don't like or want Christmas Pudding?" I think it needs to be spelled out because they obviously haven't caught the idea of what "alternative" means!

MyFirstName Sun 21-Dec-14 13:49:32

If you do not like Christmas pudding (DH and one DC do not) then are you likely to like Christmas Pudding Ice cream? The key being that the main ingredient for both is in the titles confused. It surely a bit like bringing a lemon sorbet as an alternative to lemon mousse? Is it that difficult to understand why I cannot see it as a great alternative?

Finishing Sun 21-Dec-14 13:50:42

Accept the icecream and defrost the profiteroles. If dessert isn't perfect it's no big deal. I think it is a time to be glad of having rellies who help (even if they do it wrong) and dinner to eat.
Have a lovely Christmas.

NaiceNickname Sun 21-Dec-14 13:50:45

What the fuck hmm presumably the alternative is for people who don't like xmas pud, in which case just because it is in ice cream form does not mean they will enjoy it.

Bloody daft, I'd have no problem suggesting they bring something else or at least telling them that you'll be dishing out profiteroles as well as their alternative.

pictish Sun 21-Dec-14 13:51:30

I understand why - I just don't think it's worth coming over all Miss Picky for!

Stealthpolarbear Sun 21-Dec-14 13:53:00

More to the point how on earth does isce cream travel well?

TempusFuckit Sun 21-Dec-14 13:53:02

Suck it up and serve the ice cream. It's an alternative in that it's a completely different texture and consistency to CP. If you have people who don't like boozy raisins in any form then defrost the profiteroles too.

YuloidSubstances Sun 21-Dec-14 13:53:40

It's not the most alternative alternative, I've got to admit, but lots of traditionalists are likely to see dried fruit and spices as a compulsory part of a Christmas dessert and will assume that's what's wanted - I think you needed to spell out that the alternative was required because some of your guests don't like Christmas pudding the heathens. Too late now I think to avoid offending - the "whoops I defrosted the profiteroles and someone's just going to have to eat them" suggestion above is probably perfect grin

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Sun 21-Dec-14 13:55:11

I'd ask them to bring something else / something as well.

Or my comment would be - ooh ice cream, what are we having with it?

riverboat1 Sun 21-Dec-14 13:56:48

I agree it is frustrating and the guest hasnt thought this through very well.

But given you say it is the type of person who will get the hump if you say anything about it, just go with the flow. Let them bring it, thank them for it, serve it, and you yourself offer up a third dessert (cheesecake, profiteroles, whatever) on the day "for those who don't like the taste of Xmas pudding". There can be no arguing with that.

cece Sun 21-Dec-14 14:02:09

I don't see the problem. They are bringing a pudding. Why is an alternative to Christmas pudding needed anyway as that is what you are supposed to have for Christmas lunch. As the op has said there is also cheese for those who don't want Christmas pud. hmm

SanityClause Sun 21-Dec-14 14:04:59

Suck it up.

Get the profiteroles out, and just offer the three things. I want to bet that B eats profiteroles.

See if you can palm off leftovers that your family won't eat on others when they go. (Some weirdos, like me, loooooove Christmas pudding.)

pictish Sun 21-Dec-14 14:06:07

I do think they're being daft with the ice cream...but it's not a test, or a competition... no one is taking scores. It's a family meal and not something to get all controlling or pissed off about. The profiteroles will save the day.

PrincessOfChina Sun 21-Dec-14 14:06:10

Yuck. I don't like Christmas pudding and hence don't like Christmas pudding ice cream. I'd always go for cheese but would be but disappointed if there was nothing sweet.

MyFirstName Sun 21-Dec-14 14:08:12

A bit of a mixed bag of responses. Think I will play it safe and not say anything (DH thinks I should because B has "been a dozy numpty yet again"). And for those who commented it was very clear that a true alternative was what was being requested - but hey ho.

I have a few people here on Christmas Eve (B is travelling a short distance on Christmas morning hence the ice-cream will travel) so I will over-cater for puddings on the 24th so there are plenty of left-over alternatives. And if not enough left-over puddings leftover, when I put B's ice-cream in the freezer I shall have to move the profiteroles onto the work top to juggle things around....opps.

Harmony the best way forward then.

<wanders off still muttering a bit at the fucking numptiness of it time they can just bring booze....hurumph...or bloody bah humbugs...grin.>

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Sun 21-Dec-14 14:09:20

Could you ask them to make/ a different ice-cream? Stem ginger, maybe, or fresh strawberry - ago it is just as easy to transport, and only a small change to what they planned?

YuloidSubstances Sun 21-Dec-14 14:14:16

And I don't think it's quite as bad as a lemon sorbet as an alternative to a lemon mousse - more like offering a light chocolate mousse as an alternative to a hot chocolate fudge cake. Annoying if you don't like chocolate, though grin

Shesaysso Sun 21-Dec-14 14:14:55

Haha, I'm with you that is definitely not a good alternative! I don't like Christmas Pudding and wouldn't thank you for Christmas pudding icecream. I think you'll have to suck it up though. Definitely get the profiteroles out.

ArchangelGallic Sun 21-Dec-14 14:15:47

mmmm I always think there should be a xmas pud, chocolate or fruity option for desserts.

Covers all bases then.

YuloidSubstances Sun 21-Dec-14 14:18:04

X-post - since you made it clear something non-Christmas-puddingy was required, YANBU to be irked, but yes, smoothing and calming and harmony and love and brotherhood and biting your tongue and defrosting profiteroles probably better than risking a ruckus grin

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